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SUPERNANNY - Best. Episode. Ever.

I’ll admit it:  I cry during movies and TV shows.  Heck, I get choked up during life insurance commercials.  I regularly tear up during Extreme Makeover Home Edition, but I have never cried during an episode of Supernanny.

Until this week, that is.

OK, I’m not talking about outright blubbering and sobbing.  I don’t want anybody to think that I am less than manly.  But I have to admit, Supernanny got me right there [points to heart] this week.

You know how Supernanny Jo Frost is always devising symbolic activities or games for families to play that convey a certain message?  “Write down your fears on these eggs, and then we will smash them over your head.  Then you will take a shower and wash the slime of fear off of you.”  Maybe not exactly like that, but you get the point.

This week Supernanny helped out the Moy family of Nebraska, who had sort of a combatative relationship with their disrespectful kids.  Dad traveled a lot for work, leaving Mom Michelle to fend off the attacks of her three children all by herself, with no body armor or protective headgear or anything.  Michelle had the biggest issues with her 11 year old daughter Hailey, who was heck on wheels.

As part of the Supernanny intervention, Jo created an activity that would help Michelle and Hailey bond as well as communicate some lessons that they needed to get along better.  She took them out to a huge climbing structure made of wood and ropes and whatnot.  After donning a helmet and safety line, Hailey climbed up to the platform high on top of the structure and Michelle followed.  Jo taped envelopes with important tips on improving the mother-daughter relationship; stuff like “listen without judgment” and the like.

When Michelle finally climbed up to Hailey on the top platform, there was one final envelope.  Inside it was the one thing that her daughter really needed from her.  Mom opened the envelope, and all it said was:  LOVE ME.

And then I got all misty.  Come on, you’d have to be made of stone to not be touched by that.

Say what you will about Supernanny, but I think she’s pretty darn cool. Even if she did make me cry.

--Dave Campbell 

SUPERNANNY - The secret of Supernanny success

You know, there are some episodes of Supernanny where you wonder if the lessons and technique Jo Frost imparts upon a family will actually make any long-term changes.  It usually comes down to the attitude of the parents.  Sometimes you can just tell that the parents think that Jo will just float down and work some Mary Poppins magic on her kids, and they won't have to make any changes themselves.  Each episode of Supernanny ends on a hopeful note, but sometimes you wonder how much of an impact the experience has had on the stubborn parents.

Happily, this week's episode left no doubt in my mind that the family was on its way to a happier and more harmonious future - they just needed Jo to push them in the right direction.  The Schumachers of Las Vegas are going to be OK, I think.

Teri and Brian Schumacher are hard-working parents who provide everything their three kids need in life - except maybe boundaries, goals, and discipline.  They didn't want to put the kids in day care, so Teri and Brian work around the clock.  Teri works during the day while Brian works at night, and the two of them share parenting duties. Unfortunately, both of them have a hard time using the word "no" when it comes to their kids and are paying the price.

Oldest daughter Jessica (14) does not have the drive and motivation of an Olympian athlete.  She lays around the house, griping about how bored she is and how her (quite nice) home is a dump.  The other daughter Alexi (11) is smart, but accustomed to getting things her way.  She spends hours on the cell phone and on social networking sites online chatting with people she probably shouldn't be chatting with - all unbeknownst to her parents.  The youngest kid Dylan (7) has transformed his boredom into agression and profanity.  His interests include a) hitting things, b) swearing, and c) flipping people off.

Yikes.  Sounds bad, huh?  Supernanny is aghast at all this naughty behavior when she comes to visit, and quickly comes up with a strategy for turning the Schumachers around. 

Time limits are put on the computer, which is moved into a public space so the parents can see what's going on.  Alexi is not thrilled about that.  Young Dylan visits a mixed martial arts studio where he can focus his interest in hitting things in a positive and safe environment.  He loves it.  To teach Jessica about hard work and to give her a sense of perspective, the family helps out Habitat for Humanity on a home site for a low income family.

The most important change must come from Teri and Brian, however.  They need to establish boundaries, rules, and consistent discipline, and to realize that saying "no" is sometimes the best thing they can do as parents.  The Schumachers are very receptive to Jo's advice and are willing to implement her plans.  They're 100% on board the Supernanny Train.

That's the real criteria for success on Supernanny:  How willing are the parents to make changes?  Sometimes Jo Frost asks a lot of the parents, but those who are open-minded enough to change their own behavior are the ones that change the way their kids act.  Luckily for the Schumacher kids, their parents embrace the experience and make some fundamental changes that you just know are going to stick. 

Because the real trick to Supernanny success is this:  the parents have to change in order for the kids to change.  Simple as that. 

--Dave Campbell

SUPERNANNY - Camping chaos

It would be fair to say that the Drake family of Georgia had some control issues with their three kids before Supernanny Jo Frost arrived. 

They have two rowdy twin boys and a spirited girl who are bouncing off the walls of their house, but the Drake parents were so over-protective and full of anxiety about their kids’ well-being that the kids were on a short leash.  Restrictive parenting + young explorers = unhappy kids = lots of screaming and destruction.

Supernanny drops in and drops some knowledge on the Drakes, who have a brand new camper that they’ve never used because they’re afraid of taking the kids on vacation.  Heck, the Drakes are afraid of taking their kids on a walk around their own property – when the kids walk too far ahead on the walk the parents absolutely freak out.  I’m not sure what they were concerned about exactly - lurking wild boars?  Quicksand?  Space debris plummeting from orbit?  A lot can go wrong on a walk, I guess.

Of course, Supernanny doesn’t just want to encourage the Drakes to set clear boundaries and expectations for the kids and to ease up a bit, she wants them to embrace their fears and go camping with their kids.  She tags along for part of the trip and dispenses some wise advice that goes a long way towards creating an environment where the Drakes feel like their kids are safe but the kids can still have fun.

One of the things they do is create boundaries within the camp area that the kids can play within.  They establish these early on and punish boundary infractions with a few minutes in the Naughty Chair – or in this case, the more practical Naughty Bean Bag.  Kids are kids, so naturally they push their limits, but the new Supernanny program emphasizes consistency and not freaking out – and it works!

Truly, Supernanny can work miracles.  But Jo Frost is only as effective as the parents’ willingness to improve their skills – sometimes she’s stuck with a family that is resistant to change or fights against her, and the end results aren’t as fantastic as they could be.  But sometimes, like with the Drake family, the parents are 100% on board and willing to implement her advice, and she leaves the family a little happier than she found it. 

Good job, Supernanny.  Time for a cold one and a game of football on the telly.

--Dave Campbell

SUPERNANNY - Uncheerful servitude

This week Supernanny answers a call for help from a desperate family - only this time the kids are asking for Jo's help, not the parents.

Whaa--?  Have the laws of physics in the Supernanny Universe suddenly changed?  Since when do kids call Jo Frost for help? 

In the case of the Chapman family, the two teenage girls, ages 17 and 14, were tasked with taking care of their three younger siblings by their busy parents.  While Mom and Dad work, these girls are expected to babysit their tempermental toddler brothers, do housework, and keep up with their homeschool education program.  The work load for the girls is punishing, and all of the kids are suffering from the lack of parental involvement.

During the observation day Jo is stunned by the girls' situation.  Normally Supernanny lurks in the background and sort of rolls her eyes or shakes her head disapprovingly at the parenting disaster unfolding in front of her, but this week she was reduced to tears by the plight of the overworked and stressed out teen girls.  It's like something from a Dickens novel.

As you might imagine, Jo lays into the Chapman parents, who are initially a little defensive about their child care system, or lack thereof, but soon get with the program.  When the oldest Chapman girl faints from exhaustion right in front of everyone, that sort of drives the message home.

Jo advocates for the girls' rights to have a normal adolescence and thrusts some parental responsibility back at the parents themselves.  They develop a fair schedule that allows everyone in the family to get their needs met - which means hiring a babysitter when needed instead of relying on their oldest kids.  In the end, balance and some sense of harmony are restored to the Chapman household and the girls get to stop being parent/siblings and just get to be girls again.

--Dave Campbell

SUPERNANNY - The fightin' Doyles

Supernanny enters the war zone that is the Doyle home this week, where three kids run amok and swearing, punching, and kicking are the order of the day.  If they're going to survive to reach their thirties, young parents Brandy and Dwight Doyle need Jo Frost's brand of British tough love to bring their kids under control - and possibly some protective gear.

Seriously, the three Doyle kids are completely out of hand.  5 year old Sara hits like a boxer, screams like a heavy metal singer, and swears like a dock worker.  3 year old Lizzie is following in her big sister's footsteps and has a possible future in the world of mixed martial arts.  20 month old Andrew emulates his sister's behavior and flavors his tantrums with a seasoning of crying and whining.  This trio of tiny terrors would be a handful for any parents, and at the start of the episode they have their ill-equipped parents on the ropes.

That's where Supernanny comes in.

After an observation day that consists of plenty of eye rolling and disapproving shakes of the head from Supernanny, she drops the hammer on the Doyles.  Mom needs to put the vacuum down and spend more quality time with her kids, who are so restless and unstimulated that they've grown violent.  Dad needs to plug into the family instead of plopping down on the couch after a hard day at work.  With a lot of effort and some Supernanny tips, they might just be able to turn their kids' behavior around, but they're going to need to make some major changes in their lives.

It's an uphill battle.  To test their new parenting techniques and the efficacy of their Naughty Chair discipline method, Supernanny makes them invite another family over for a playdate.  Things spiral out of control and the girls end up on the Naughty Chair.  That's when the swearing begins -- big time.  I don't know what little Sara says, but judging from the reaction of the guests it is spectacularly profane.  They take their kids and flee.

OK, that didn't go so well. 

When Brandy and Dwight hire a babysitter so they can get some quality time as husband and wife, the true test begins.  Will the Doyle munchkins behave or will they eat the babysitter alive?  Pick option B.  When Jo and the parents return home, they find the babysitter in hysterics - she's just endured several hours of cruel and unusual punishment from the kids and is teetering on the edge of sanity.  Seriously, she is going to need counseling.  Hey, at least the house didn't burn down.

In the end, Supernanny leaves the Doyle family with some solid ground rules and a framework of discipline for their kids.  The parents seem more plugged into the situation and seem to have a fighting chance of turning their kids' behavior around.  It's going to take a concerted effort over time, but with some consistency and patience, they'll survive.

I hope.

--Dave Campbell

SUPERNANNY - Another win for Jo Frost

This week Supernanny Jo Frost stepped in to help out the Martinez family, whose ultra-stressed mom is raising three rambunctious kids on her own while dad is overseas in Iraq working as a contractor.  The stress of the separation was affecting the mom’s ability to calmly parent her children, and I think it was a factor in the behavior of the kids as well.  The kids were a little out of control, but by Supernanny standards they were little angels.  They were nothing like some of the destructive little gremlins we’ve seen in previous episodes.

No, the real issue on this episode was Mom’s state of mind.  She was willing and enthusiastic about making changes to her short-fused parenting style, but the daily uncertainty about her husband’s safety and the lack of spousal support was really dragging her down.  Fortunately, Supernanny had the answer to all her problems.  Well, most of them anyway.

Jo set up a web page for the family so they could leave messages for one another and check in even when a phone call wasn’t possible, which was a great idea.  She also set the family up with a webcam so that the kids could see their daddy on the computer, and visa versa.  These simple steps seemed to go a long way in relieving some of Mom’s stress.

The great thing about this episode was that Mama Martinez was so open to Supernanny’s input and so willing to make positive changes.  We’ve all seen Supernanny episodes where we’ve just wondered why the parents had kids in the first place.  For example, remember the gal that squirted hand soap in her kid’s mouth?  Sometimes the parents just don’t meet Jo half way, or require greater help than Jo can offer.  And by “greater help” I mean “counseling.”

But this family just needed some guidance and some fine tuning – perfect Supernanny material.  Mom’s heart was in the right place, and at the end of the show you really got the feeling that things were going to improve around the Martinez household until dad could return from Iraq.  Mission accomplished, Supernanny!

--Dave Campbell

SUPERNANNY - Wipe out!

This week Supernanny intervened in the Addis family home, where the four kids (2, 5, 6, and 6 years old) don’t act their age and are prone to volcanic temper tantrums among other issues.

OK, I take that back – the 2-year old acts his age.  The other kids are a little behind the curve.  They throw fits over the slightest things, drink from sippy cups, and need help wiping their bums.  The entire family is coping in different ways with the death of their beloved live-in grandfather, but mom Leslie has sort of given up.  As a result, the kids don’t have any incentive or motivation to act in an age appropriate way.

Jo “Supernanny” Frost straightens them out big time.  She is aghast at the presence of sippy cups and can’t believe that little Eden needs help wiping.

Typically, a child starts wiping their own bottom between 3 and 4 years old, according to Jo.  Yet in her experience, kids start wiping late over here in the States.  “Do you know how many American houses I’ve been into where the kids don’t their own bum?”  Jo says at one point.  “It’s quite interesting.”

By “interesting” I think she means “disgusting” or “inappropriate.”  Jo has clearly had a lot of nanny experience in the UK as well as the USA, so she’s drawing a direct comparison here.  Do kids in the UK really wipe their own bums before kids in the States?  And if so – what does that say about American culture and our chances of survival as a society?

I don’t know the answer to that, but I’m a little chagrined that we’re behind the UK in the Wiping Race.  Once we cede leadership in bum wiping to other countries, what’s next?  Soon other countries will be passing us by in nose-blowing and shoe-tying as well.  I think Supernanny has an important wake-up call for all of us.

Wow, that is the most I have ever written or thought about bum wiping in one er, sitting.  Thanks, Supernanny!  I think...

--Dave Campbell

SUPERNANNY - Monster Island

“It’s disgusting,” Supernanny said. “I feel like I’m in a subway.”

Supernanny Jo Frost does not pull punches when it comes to critiquing the décor of a family’s home.  In this case she was referring to the adolescent warzone in the basement of the Weinstein house where four kids (ranging in age from 7 to 2) hurl furniture, smash toys, punch holes in the drywall, and scrawl kiddy graffiti on the walls. 

Parents Chia and David have given up on the basement and let the kids get all destructo in a controlled and designated space - much like when the Japanese military put Godzilla on Monster Island.

Sticking with the movie analogies, if the kids are Godzilla, then the dad acts like the drill sergeant from An Officer and a Gentleman.  He grabs his kids and roars orders at them and pretty much just bullies them.  As you might imagine, Jo does not approve.

Once again Jo had a series of games and exercises designed to reinforce her point.  My favorite this time is when she made overbearing dad sit on the grass while she screamed in his ear.  “Oh, you don’t like that do you?”  That was awesome.

Of course, Supernanny is a match for any dad, and after breaking him down, she builds him back up into a mellow, kinder dad.  In the end, the trashed basement is transformed into a happy, graffiti-free play room, and the Weinsteins are transformed into a happy family.  Man, Supernanny is like a Parenting Fairy that just waves her magic wand and transforms you into a perfect family! 

Come visit my house, Parenting Fairy!

--Dave Campbell

SUPERNANNY - Combat zone!

Every week I think that the kids on Supernanny can’t possibly be more out of control than the kids on last week’s show – and every week I am wrong.

On this episode, Jo Frost travels to Southern California to help the combat fatigued McKeever family, whose two boys have turned their house into a gladiator arena. River, 6, and Hunter, 7 have developed their own mixed martial arts style that emphasizes kicking, sucker punches, and their specialty, strikes to the groin. I have to hand it to those boys; their groin strike kung fu is strong. River and Hunter get a lot of practice in by sparring with each other and ambushing their parents. Thank God they didn’t have any pets. Or maybe they used to…

When Jo comes calling, the boys think they’ve found a new target. You can see the blood lust in their eyes. “We need to beat up that lady,” one of the boys says. 

They give it a good shot, too.  Supernanny takes a beating this time, but maintains a Gandhi-like calm through the whole thing. The kids even attack the camera crew – I hope they got hazard pay for this episode.

And the mouths on these kids! I’ve never heard so much profanity beeping on the show. Clearly these kids were capable of imaginative and lengthy streams of obscenity that would make a Marine drill sergeant blush. 

Of course, River and Hunter’s behavior doesn’t exist in a vacuum, as Jo is quick to point out. Mom Lucy is so worn down by the kids that she snaps and yells at them and even calls them “idiots.” That’s tough to hear, even if the kids are rabid little attack monkeys. Nobody should call their kids names, that’s not cool.

Dad Corey is the real issue, though. He spends all of his time at work and when he’s home, he shows little patience or interest in the boys. The guy is emotionally distant, apathetic, and just generally checked out – he seems to prefer spending time on the computer to spending time with his kids. 

Jo calls him on it. She describes him as selfish and sulking and at one point says, “Everything that is going on here is due to you.” Ouch. Corey isn’t ready for that level of truth, and ends up locking himself in the bathroom. I gotta say, it’s hard to feel sympathy for the guy.

He comes around, though. The patented Supernanny Tough Love breaks him down and then builds him up. By the end of the show he seems to grasp the level of responsibility and influence that he has over his kids and their behavior, and he sucks it up and gets on with the difficult and sometimes painful duty of fatherhood. In his case fatherhood was physically painful – the guy took more than a few shots to the groin zone.

I wish the McKeever family success in getting the boys under control. In the absence of success, I hope they invest in some body armor.

--Dave Campbell

SUPERNANNY - vs Velociraptor

The Banjany family of Staten Island have a lot on their plate.  They've launched a successful business in their house, Confuzzled Cookies (little plug there for them), but are having trouble integrating home life with home business.  Oh, and their kids fight like the Jets and the Sharks.  I mean, they throw down big time.  They're like little drunken tavern brawlers - the only thing they're missing are broken beer bottles and switchblades.  Clearly the Banjanys need Supernanny Jo Frost's help.

This was a pretty good episode of Supernanny - it was funny, at least.  The youngest of the three Banjany kids, 3 year old Blake, was a real character.  He enjoyed dressing up in his older sister's clothes, much to his father's chagrin, and he was quite the lil' biter.  The kid just wanted some attention and consistency in his life, and darn it, if that means he has to bite somebody, then so be it.  He was like a little velociraptor, that Blake.

You know how they always have the opening "Supernanny we need your help" sequence where they show how out of control this week's family is?  This week they spiced up footage of Blake repeatedly biting his parents' limbs with a cartoon CHOMP sound effect that for some reason just cracked me up.  If they had only thrown in fake kung fu SMACK sound effects whenever one of the kids hit each other, I think they would have had the best episode of Supernanny ever.

Somebody was standing by with a stopwatch because this episode set Supernanny history for the longest time-out attempt ever made.  5 year old Zoe went thermonuclear when she had to go sit on "the naughty cube" for smacking her brother.  All she had to do was sit there for 5 minutes, but she would not stay put and put up a fierce resistance.  With Supernanny's support the parents finally prevailed, but it took them 3.5 hours to get Zoe to just sit down for 5.o minutes.  Sweat was dripping from dad's brow by the end of it, but they saw it through.

The Banjanys seemed like nice people who were just overwhelmed and not working together to raise their kids.  Unlike the families on Wife Swap, the Supernanny families actually seem like normal folks who just need some guidance getting their homes under control, which is nice.  It just goes to show that reality TV doesn't have to be a freakshow - although it doesn't hurt if you have lil' biters to spice things up a bit.

--Dave Campbell