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LOST - Now with 100% more Zoe Bell?

According to this site, New Zealand stuntwoman/actress Zoe Bell is slated for a role on LOST.  She used to be a stunt double on Xena, and was last seen strapped to the hood of a 1970 Dodge Challenger in Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof.  Say what you will about that movie, but that final car chase sequence was the cat's pajamas. 

I'm excited to see what Zoe ends up doing on LOST - hopefully she has an honest-to-God role, but you don't hire an A-list stuntwoman unless you're going to use her unique gifts - so she'll probably get blown up or something.  Maybe there will be a complex stunt involving Hurley's VW bus, a box of rattlesnakes, and a strafing WWI fighter.  One can hope.

Has anybody out there heard any more details on this?  Spill, please.

--Dave Campbell

LOST - Desmond = Odysseus

I neglected to blog last week about “The Constant,” the epic time-traveling 100% Desmond episode because I suck, so I thought I would rectify my oversight today with a quick post. 

Normally LOST is compelling, even mind-blowing. The producers usually manage to strike the right balance between answering nagging questions while creating further mysteries, and so far this season they’re batting average is pretty good. There’s been a couple episodes where I have literally sat up in my chair and said, “Holy @#*&!” 

But man, “The Constant” was everything you could ask for in a LOST episode and a bag of chips. This was the most riveting, entertaining, and emotionally compelling episode this season. They slathered on information with a trowel in this one, opened up a whole new can of worms with Daniel Faraday (who is fast becoming one of my favorite characters), introduced us to the freighter folk, and expanded the space/time distortion mystery further – but the best part was the epic relationship between Desmond and Penny. 

Penelope Widmore doesn’t share the same name as Odysseus’ wife by accident. Like their ancient counterparts, Penny and Desmond are meant to be together but are cruelly kept apart by the whims of the gods. All the time-traveling craziness Desmond has to endure is built around a really sweet love story that is surprisingly effective. Penny is not just Desmond’s constant, she’s his guiding star, his destiny. We want them to get together, which is why the brief phone call they share at the end of the episode was so moving and effective – her love literally saves his life. Come on, you got a little misty didn’t you? It’s okay, we’re all friends here, you can admit it. 

Props to Henry Ian Cusick, who plays Desmond, for a fantastic acting job this episode. He absolutely nailed that final, weepy phone call scene, didn’t he? 

 
--Dave Campbell 

LOST - Eggs, Babies, and a Grenade

 

I feel like a total sucker.  A tool, even.

This week’s LOST episode “Eggtown” had me guessing and second-guessing the identity of Kate’s son in the Oceanic Six timeline. Was it Jack’s kid? Or Sawyer’s? Or maybe Hurley’s? Don’t laugh, it could happen. They had me right up until the last second. Holy crap, it’s Aaron? I’m sure more LOST-savvy folks out there saw that one coming a mile away, but it caught me flat-footed. 

So that means that Aaron is one of the Oceanic Six, in addition to Jack, Hurley, Kate, Sayid, and Dead Person in Coffin. But what does that mean for Claire? Nothing good, methinks. 

This was a Kate-centric episode. In Island Time we followed her efforts to get some information from Miles, who was being held captive by Locke.  Kate wanted to know what Miles, and by extension the freighter folk, know about her. In the Oceanic Six timeline we followed her trial and got a glimpse of her life after the island. Man, the Oceanic Six must have gotten a huge settlement from the airline because she’s got a swanky house, a nanny, and a sleek wardrobe. 

Some stuff stuck out in the flash-forward scenes surrounding Kate’s trial for fraud, arson, assault on a federal officer, assault with a deadly weapon, grand larceny, grand theft auto, and murder in the first degree (phew).  Let’s do bullet points, those are fun:

•  That female district attorney seemed fishy. Did you catch those sidelong glances she was shooting at Kate? It wasn’t just because she was jealous because Kate looked fabulous. And when the district attorney gal couldn’t get a conviction and they were negotiating terms, didn’t her insistence that Kate was not allowed to leave the state seem odd? I mean, if she’s going to be on parole for ten years anyway, why throw that in? I think the D.A. was a Dharma operative or something.

• Jack’s testimony.  At last we learn the story that the Oceanic Six told the rest of the world: there were only eight survivors of the crash initially, and that Kate was a hero and saved the lives of the six that ultimately lived. So that’s the lie that Bearded Jack was so distraught about last season. 

• Aaron.  What was the story with Kate’s attorney wanting Aaron to testify at the trial? He said that putting him on the stand would generate sympathy, but why? Is there something wrong with the kid? What would the attorney expect the kid to say? I didn’t get that part, but again, see paragraph 2. I’m not that bright. And why was Jack so uptight about the thought of seeing Aaron? 

Okay, back to the Island Timeline. A number of noteworthy developments this episode, and therefore… more bullet points!

• Where’s the helicopter? We learned that the helicopter hadn’t yet arrived at the freighter. More space-time kookiness, no doubt. Maybe Lapidus didn’t follow Faraday’s advice about maintaining the exact same bearing they used when approaching the island. How far away is this freighter,anyway? Is it over the horizon?  On the other side of the island? You’d think somebody could climb a palm tree and spot it, but apparently not. 

• Miles, who I hate.    The bit with the grenade in Miles' mouth provided me with some petty schadenfreude. That's one way to keep his mouth shut.  I thought that his attempted extortion of Ben was interesting. The sum Miles required for telling his mysterious employer that Ben was dead was strangely specific - $3.2 million dollars. Perhaps Miles has been using his psychic ghost-whispery mojo to determine the location of a cache of exactly $3.2 million dollars on the island that Ben knows about, just as he found that hidden money in “Confirmed Dead.” 

  Maybe there's a couple of Samsonites stuffed with cash in a Hatch someplace.

• Sawyer - not smooth. Speaking of keeping one’s mouth shut, Sawyer seems to have a knack for saying the wrong things at the right time. For future reference, Sawyer, when a woman you’re involved with tells you they’re not pregnant, the proper response is not a relieved, “WHOOO!” complete with triumphant fist-pumping. I’m exaggerating, but that was the effect. His smart mouth earned him a well-deserved Mark V Backhand from Kate. Not just a slap, a full-on backhand with a sound effect and everything.  Sawyer subconsciously self-sabotages himself due to intimacy/self-esteem issues, and should seek counseling. 

• Dan Faraday’s memory. Dan and Charlotte played a simple memory game with Dharma playing cards, which Dan was not very good at. This shoots down my theory that “Daniel Faraday” was an alias that he adopted, because in a previous episode he seemed to pause before saying his name, as if her were trying to remember. It seems like Dan has memory issues, and has been described as a “head case.” What exactly is his problem? 

All in all, another solid episode in a solid season. It answered some questions, raised many others, and moved the plot forward, or perhaps sideways. One never can tell with LOST. Particularly if you’re me. 

-- Dave Campbell

LOST - Our Man Sayid

Sayid is such a ninja.

That was my take-away from this week’s episode of LOST. Sure, we learned that Sayid is one of the Oceanic Six, that (as we knew) there’s some crazy time differential between the island and the real world, and that Ben gets off the island as well, but this episode just reinforced what a ruthless, super-bad butt-kicker Sayid is.

My only disappointment was that Ben didn’t get beat up this episode. I thought for sure that he would get pummeled once per show this season, but I was wrong. Maybe they’ll release a special enhanced version of this episode that shows Sawyer cuffing Ben in the back of the head or something.

Once again, this episode toggles between Island Time and the Oceanic Six Timeline, where Sayid is living a life of luxury and espionage, traveling to the Seychelles and Berlin to see the sights and kill people. He hooks up with Elsa, a woman who works for a mysterious and unseen “economist” who happens to be on Sayid’s Big List of People I Must Kill. Romantic entanglements ensue between Elsa and Sayid, who end up shooting each other in a Berlin hotel room. Sayid is a better shot than Elsa, however, which makes him sad and makes Elsa dead.

Back on the island, Faraday conducts an interesting experiment with a rocket fired from the freighter towards his coordinates. The rocket launches and the Freighter People say that it has reached his signal, but it doesn’t actually show up until much later. Trippy. The experiment was interesting, but if I was Lapidus the pilot I’d be pissed that Faraday was conducting a rocket experiment within fifty yards of my helicopter. Take it over the next ridge, Mr. Wizard.

Sayid does actually make it off the island in the helicopter after securing the freedom of Charlotte of the Freighter People from Locke by exchanging her for Miles. He tells Jack that Kate decided to stay behind, but I think we’re supposed to suspect that Sayid threw Kate in as part of the bargain. That doesn’t really make a lot of sense to me – I wonder if Kate succumbed to Sawyer’s charms or decided she’d be safer with Locke’s group. Who can say?

The big reveal at the end in the Oceanic Six Timeline was a mind-blower. Ben is a veterinarian? Who knew he loved animals so much? More importantly, Ben is alive and off the island? There goes my theory that Ben was in the coffin at the end of last season. Sayid is working for Ben? But Ben’s a jerk!

This season so far has exceeded my expectations big time. Now if they’d only bring back the Smoke Monster…

-- Dave Campbell

LOST - Secrets of the Smoke Monster

The smoke monster is one of the great mysteries of LOST.  A seemingly intelligent cloud of prehensile black smoke, the smoke monster has menaced the survivors of the Oceanic 815 plane crash from the very beginning, and turned several of them into un-survivors.  The smoke monster prowls the jungle, pushing aside trees and occasionally roaring like a garbage truck.  What is it?  What does it want?  Why does it attack sometimes and not others?

After some extensive investigation, I have discovered that the producers of LOST have created four official scenarios that explain what the smoke monster is.  Why so many?  If there’s a press leak about one of the smoke monster explanations, they can switch to another equally viable scenario just to throw people off.  Here at Live from L.A. we have an unquenchable thirst for the truth, so after a concentrated effort that resulted in getting roughed up by J.J. Abrams’ entourage and a restraining order, we present the four official answers to the question…

What is The Smoke Monster?

Dinosaur Ghost

The smoke monster is actually the disembodied spirit of a T-Rex that died on the island millions of years ago.  It still roams the jungles, searching for the Triceratops that murdered it. 

Some consider this the least likely explanation, but they are stupid.  What could be cooler than a dinosaur ghost?  I mean besides a gorilla astronaut  ghost, of course. 

The smoke monster is definitely a dinosaur ghost.

Count Dracula

In the eighth episode of the fourth season, the survivors will discover a crumbling, bat-infested Eastern European castle on the island, and the real identity of the smoke monster will be revealed:  Count &*$#ing Dracula. 

As everybody knows, Dracula can turn into a bat, a wolf, a lemur, and a cloud of mist.  Think about it – makes sense doesn’t it? 

The smoke monster is definitely Dracula.

Tree Hating Killer Bees

The smoke monster is really a swarm of mutated killer bees that despise palm trees – that’s why trees move as it passes through the jungle.

These Africanized honey bees are all-black and have developed the abilities to sound like a garbage truck and to pick people up and toss them around.  Why would they need to sting you if they could just toss you to death? 

The smoke monster is definitely a swarm of tree hating killer bees.

Evil Giraffe with Cloaking Device

In reality, the smoke monster is a homicidal giraffe with a cloaking device that makes it look like a cloud of smoke.  Why not?  There was a polar bear on the island, right?  And if you think about it, the smoke monster has never done anything that a cloaked, evil giraffe couldn’t do. 

Yes, the smoke monster is definitely an evil giraffe. 

With a cloaking device.  And telepathy.

I hope this helps clear up some of the mystery around the smoke monster.  Who can say which one is accurate, though?  You make the call! 

--Dave Campbell

LOST - I once was lost, but now am found

I was one of the many people who was starting to wonder about LOST last season.  Was there really a master plan, a grand answer to all our questions?

Happily the illusion of a seamless, interconnected master plan on LOST has been restored this season. I still have a nagging feeling like they’re making some of this stuff up as they go along, but if that’s true, they’re doing a good job of covering it up.

My faith was rekindled and my curiosity was re-piqued by the 3^rd season finale, which gave us our first glimpse of the Oceanic Six timeline and launched an entirely new sub-mystery. Who are the Oceanic Six? Does Jack think that beard looks flattering? Because it doesn’t.

The two fresh episodes so far in season four have expanded on the Oceanic Six mystery as well as introducing the mysterious and potentially menacing Freighter People – both welcome developments in the world of LOST.

At first I thought the Oceanic Six Timeline was a strange choice and that the LOST creators were writing themselves into a corner, so to speak. If Jack, Kate, Hurley and three others made it off the island, there is no way they can die in the Island Timeline, right? By taking three major characters and putting them in the “safe box” it eliminates a certain element of suspense. If somebody holds a gun to Jack’s head – big deal, we know he’s not going to die, right? This assumes of course that the Island Timeline and the Oceanic Six Timeline are part of a linear and chronological Mega Timeline and that we’re not talking about alternate realities and parallel time, of course, but nothing should be ruled out.

Then I realized that for me, the allure of LOST lies not as much in a sense of involvement in the fate of individual characters (aside from wishing that Nikki and Paulo would die), but rather in the unraveling of LOST’s puzzles and puzzles-within-puzzles-wrapped-in-enigmas. Don’t get me wrong, I was bummed out when Charlie (apparently) died, but the appeal of LOST is in the mystery and wonder, not in the body count. It’s not so much “who is going to survive?” as it is “what the hell is going on?”

On those grounds, the new season of LOST has been a big success so far, rekindling the sense of awe and wonder that the show had in those first two seasons, when viewers felt like they were catching fleeting but incomplete glimpses of a carefully designed stained glass window of awesomeness.

As it should be, each episode parses out some answers and information while leaving the viewer with fresh new unanswered questions. I certainly have some questions I would like answers to:

-Who was in that coffin?  Is he or she one of the Oceanic Six who made it off the island and then died, or did the Oceanic Six bring Dead Person home with them?

-In episode 4.1, why the hell did Jack let Ben go with Locke of all people?

-Is Jack losing it? He would have actually killed Locke if the gun had a bullet. Then he lets Ben out of his custody? Get it together Jack.

-Did Ghost Charlie get an afterlife makeover, or was Hurley hallucinating? Perhaps Ghost Charlie is some sort of ideal, perfected Charlie with fabulous hair that exists in Hurley’s mind only.

-How could Hurley do a cannonball on a big flat beach like that? I think the show creators fudged a little on this one, because everyone knows you can’t execute a cannonball unless you actually jump from a height into water.

- If the Freighter People are just on the island to find/kill Ben, why aren’t they a team of commandos instead of a motley team consisting of drunk pilot, anthropologist, brilliant head case, and rude psychic? Why this particular group of people with these particular skills? What are they really up to?

-What is the Smoke Monster, anyway? I was happy that was the first thing that Locke asked Ben when he had him at gunpoint. It’d be the first thing I’d ask, too. I would die unhappy if I made it off the island but never found out what that thing was…

- Is Ben going to get the crap beaten out of him in every episode this season? He gets smacked once in episode 4.1 and beaten up twice by Sawyer in episode 4.2. Perhaps this is part of a welcome trend, and by the end of the season people will just be lining up to abuse Ben.

-Why did Kate look so fabulous in the Oceanic Six timeline? Isn’t she a wanted woman, or did her freckle-free complexion indicate that she leaves her legal troubles behind her in the future?

It’s nice to have lots of questions about LOST again. They’re good questions, too – better than asking “Is there a point to all this?” Because once again, I believe there is a point, a master plan, and a grand design. And that’s why we signed up in the first place.

--Dave Campbell