Balance was restored to the cosmos this week as Team Bruno scored their long overdue first win. When the verdict was read, both Bruno and I sank to our knees, overcome with gratitude and emotion. Actually, I stayed on the couch, but I was still overcome and stuff.
Latin Week found Team Carrie Ann and Team Bruno evenly matched. Although the Brunos only had four members to pit against Carrie Ann’s full crew of six, Team Bruno was hungry and desperate for a win. Both teams delivered one up tempo show-stopper and one steamy, sexier number. Results were mixed, but equal.
Carrie Ann’s team came out strong with “Conga,” an energetic piece with really tight vocals from the women. Bruno and Carrie Ann both agreed that they did a great job – Bruno didn’t have a single catty thing to say about their number at all, which was disappointing. I like Bruno when he’s a little catty.
Bruno had been urging his team (particularly Zack) to Bring The Sexy to their opening number, “Sway,” and they didn’t disappoint. Zack, a strappin’ corn fed dancer on Team Bruno, has some issues to resolve inside himself before he can fully bring The Sexy, but he did OK. I’d suggest some Marvin Gaye and a shot of tequila, but I don’t know if Bruno would approve.
For their second number, Carrie Ann’s team took it to the street with a chain link fence set for “I Need To Know.” Technically the dancers did a good job, although the whole piece lacked a certain fire and energy IMHO. Bruno didn’t seem overly impressed; he thought the scarves the team used as props were a cheap gimmick. Now that’s the kind of cattiness I like to hear from my man.
Finally, Team Bruno’s quartet took the stage for “Line Up,” an energetic, engaging number where they really played to the crowd. Bonus points for having Zack and Phillip dance around with their shirts open. Clearly Bruno is not messing around when it comes to Bringing the Sexy. “Line Up” was the strongest performance of the night, and Bruno was well pleased. “What more can I ask of them?” Bruno asked, and then answered himself, “Nothing.”
Although Team Bruno was short-handed, it seems like there’s actually an advantage to having fewer dancers on stage – you can “work it” as they say, really selling your performance and injecting personality into the whole deal. This was particularly true of the “Line Up” number. Of course, if you screw up there’s nowhere to hide with just four people up there…
Judgment comes swift and terrible on Dance War, and this week our host Drew Lachey read the verdict as handed down by the people of North America: Team Bruno for the win.
This time it was Carrie Ann’s turn to painfully eliminate one member of her tight-knit group, and she immediately began crying. I know that it can’t be fun to cut somebody from the team, but jeez, Carrie Ann was really upset. First she had to spare the team members who were not on the chopping block, which seemed almost as difficult as making the actual cut itself. I was just happy that she kept Elizabeth on the team – I have a little crush thing going on for her. Don’t tell anybody.
In the end, the two dancers with their futures on the line were Allysa and Chris, who were forced to battle each other for the remaining spot. They didn’t literally battle, of course, they had a sing-off, which is kind of confusing to me. The show’s called Dance War – why do they make them sing to avoid getting cut from the team? They should resolve matters with a proper dance duel, like the Jets and Sharks in West Side Story.
Anyway, Allysa was ultimately cut from the team, with much tears from Carrie Ann. It was like the dance version of Sophie’s Choice – Carrie Ann was absolutely devastated that she had to give up one of her team.
Of course, the elimination at the end of the show was based on votes cast by viewers during Country Week, when Team Bruno pulled off a pair of particularly strong performances. I think this bodes well for the scrappy kids of Team Bruno going into the final week of Dance War, because they really did well this week.
Granted, I am a blatant and unapologetic Team Bruno partisan. Here’s hoping that Bruno can pull it together and that the American people are wise enough to recognize his inherent awesomeness. I will await the ultimate verdict with great anticipation.
Who knows what next week holds in store for Team Bruno? It’s a question that will be answered in time. For this week, Team Bruno is victorious, and all is right in the world.
--Dave Campbell
