THE BACHELORETTE - A brutal elimination

Wow.  That was hardcore.

As the field of competitors for DeAnna's affections shrinks, the eliminations become more painful for all involved - viewers included.  DeAnna has become emotionally attached to each of the four remaining guys, but was perhaps most attached to the guy she sent home tonight.

Let's back up.  This week DeAnna visited the four guys in their hometowns to see how they lived and to meet their families.  She snowboarded with Jesse in Breckenridge, met Jason's cute son in Seattle, zipped around Dallas on a motorcycle with Jeremy, and shot some hoops with Graham in Raleigh.  She won over the families of each guy with her Southern charm - no problems there.

But at the end of her hometown date with Graham, the guy she most enjoyed seeing shirtless, things went a little sour.  After the parent thing, they set down on a bench for some one-on-one time and VOOOSH!  You could see the emotional walls go up around him.  He withdrew, got quiet, and even seemed a little sullen.  By the time he walked her to the car, the magic was gone.  Their date ended on an awkward, uncertain note.

The rose ceremony came, and one of the four guys had to go home.  I think Graham could read the writing on the wall and knew he was going home.  He even composed a note explaining the feelings he had for that he couldn't vocalize.  Sure enough, DeAnna gave a rose to Jason, Jesse, and Jeremy... but not Graham.

She walked him outside and explained that of all the guys, he was the one that she felt most drawn to, that she was falling in love with.  But he couldn't open up, he couldn't share his feelings with her.  Graham took that lonely limo ride to the airport while DeAnna read his note through tears. 

Judging from the reactions of the viewers over on The Bachelorette Live Blog, a lot of people think that DeAnna made a HUGE mistake letting Graham go.  More than a few think that Graham would make an excellent Bachelor.  But I have DeAnna's back on this one - I think that she knew that you can't enter into a serious relationship with the hope or expectation that you will be able to change their personality.  That's a recipe for heartbreak and divorce.

What do you think?  Am I totally off base?  Did DeAnna make a massive mistake or did she make a wise choice?  You make the call.

--Dave Campbell

Comments

[Destaney]

Hey Dave...I think DeAnna made an extremely massive mistake by letting Graham go! You can tell that he was the one for her. He was soooo in love with DeAnna (you could see it in his eyes) but he had a hard time expressing his love for her in front of the camera crew. The were PERFECT for eachother. And you and ABC should really bring him back! DeAnna is looking for forever and she sent forever away in the limo when she got rid of Graham. Noone will have the type of connection that they had, and she said so herself.DeAnna should have the best, which was Graham. Bring him back please!!!!!!! We need to see another Fairytale Ending like Trista and Ryan's. And if only u bring Graham back it could truly happen!

[kitty randall]

No! I think she did the right thing! This is marriage we're talking about... Your husband is the person who'll always be there for you. Graham couldn't even tell her how he feels. She's already a mess because of him. NOT a good sign...

[Michelle]

PLEASE MAKE GRAHAM THE NEXT BACHELOR!!! I'm not sure he was right for DeAnna, but he will be right for someone. He's a little shy, but when he meets the right girl, it will be all over. He'd make the best bachelor EVERRR!!!!!!!!

[Amanda]

Go DeAnna!! I really think she made the right decision in sending Graham home. He played mind games with her and although he was pretty to look at, would only break her heart in the end. No communication is a sure sign of a failing relationship. DeAnna deserves better than what Graham was giving her and should NOT be second guessing her decision at all! I am very pleased with the three men she has left standing, but I am rooting for Jason. I really think he will make her happy and I hope she gets her fairy tale ending, because she sure deserves it.

[Ashley]

I think she totally did the right thing, and I was hoping she'd send Graham packing. He wouldn't open up, didn't seem to care about her feelings, and the relationship would not have lasted. Any of the other three guys would be better for her and treat her better than Graham. I was glad to see him go!

[Ashley]

I think she totally did the right thing, and I was hoping she'd send Graham packing. He wouldn't open up, didn't seem to care about her feelings, and the relationship would not have lasted. Any of the other three guys would be better for her and treat her better than Graham. I was glad to see him go!

[Ashley]

I think she totally did the right thing, and I was hoping she'd send Graham packing. He wouldn't open up, didn't seem to care about her feelings, and the relationship would not have lasted. Any of the other three guys would be better for her and treat her better than Graham. I was glad to see him go!

[Ashley]

I think she totally did the right thing, and I was hoping she'd send Graham packing. He wouldn't open up, didn't seem to care about her feelings, and the relationship would not have lasted. Any of the other three guys would be better for her and treat her better than Graham. I was glad to see him go!

[Amanda]

Go DeAnna!! I really think she made the right decision in sending Graham home. He played mind games with her and although he was pretty to look at, would only break her heart in the end. No communication is a sure sign of a failing relationship. DeAnna deserves better than what Graham was giving her and should NOT be second guessing her decision at all! I am very pleased with the three men she has left standing, but I am rooting for Jason. I really think he will make her happy and I hope she gets her fairy tale ending, because she sure deserves it.

[Qui]

I think DeAnna made the right choice for her. I really liked Graham. Communication is the number one killer of any relationship. He should have opened up a little more. Graham is like the bad boy and we all know we girls sometimes fall for the bad boy before the good. Kudos to DeAnna

[penelope]

this was super hard, i think Deanna did make the smart decision. but what if Graham would have broken through? I am sure Graham will always consider her "the one that got away". Jesse is definitely not for her, she should have kept graham on for 1 more ceremony. Please can you bring him back? I am living vicariously through this show, and I really really want to see Deanna happy. so if she is unsure, bring him back. I hope he begs her to come back. Darn it! OPEN UP GRAHAM! thats all she wants! thats why she sat down with him and talked, she was still giving him a chance. shes obviously in love with him. Congratulations ABC, you have me hooked.

[Monica]

You're right Dave!
WISE CHOICE DeANNA!!!! It would have never worked with Graham...he was way too complicated!

[Danielle]

Congrats to DeAnna! I was glad to see Graham go because you could see she was trying to get him to show her how he feels. I believe that she would be happier with either Jesse or Jason because like Graham I don't think Jeremy is truthful about something. Im glad DeAnna got rid of Graham she deserves happiness in her life. I hope her relationship mirrors Trista and Ryan.

[Savita]

I think that DeAnna made the right decision. I think that if she would have persued the relationship with Graham she would eventually become miserable. Communication is a very important part of any relationship and it seemed that Deanna had to work really hard to even have casual conversations with Graham. I think that DeAnna was far more invested in the relationship than Graham was. After all, the only thing DeAnna wanted from Graham was for him to open up and talk to her and apparently he did not care enough to do that. I truly hope DeAnna finds the relationship and guy that is perfect for her because she really, really deserves it.

[suecen]

I was in tears for both Deanna and Graham. I wish he could have told her how he felt, but communication is so important. They had the most physical connection, but that may not be enough. I would like to see Graham back too. I think Jeremy is too perfect and Jessie isn't quite enough for her, but Jason seems to be true and honest and wants to be involved. I hope all works in the end. Graham's tears melted my heart.

[wendym]

I'm torn right now like Deanna must have been last night. On one hand I think she made a good decision but in the end I think he was the one and that she should have kept him on. I believe she made her decision in frustration and should have let her head clear and see the love he had for her in his eyes that he was not able to express. He was growing and changing but for Deanna not quick enough. I believe some things take time. It must be very difficult to express to someone your feelings while there are cameras in front of your face. I believe that Graham was having a hard time with that as he stated when he gave her the note, "This is just for you....not for the show or the cameras, but for you alone." Deanna you are not going to like the decision you made.

Hang in there Graham!

[mello]

She blew it. Graham was one of the most real people out there. he didn't want to kiss her after she just kissed someone else and he didn't want to mush it up in front of cameras. feelings were real to him not reality tv. i say go graham. why would you want someone who professes to be so put together and cries and dramas over every little thing. to expect someone to expose everything about their feelings in a several week time period is soooooooooo unrealistic.

[NCK]

Glad to see DeAnna sent Graham packing. Wise, decision DeAnna!!! Graham couldn't never open up to her one important part of a relationship is be able to show emotions to the other person with others around or not shouldn't be a problem. If others can say he is into you, that is questionable. I'm 41 yrs old, and been married for 21 years and if a stranger stops you at a market when your with your husband and say you are so inlove and ask you if you are a newlyweds each time that is saying something, He is into you! If Graham could not show others his feelings towards you, don't think he can behind doors. DeAnna you made the right decision its all good now. LOVE Jesse, he would be the great guy for you! Genuine, down to earth, truthful! My husband is the rocker long hair guy that I didn't see myself dating but he was the one! Fun, funny, loving, genuine, down to earth and my bestfriend! He was a friend first and dated for months and didn't kiss me either.
Good Luck and LOVE hard!

[distressedmaiden]

I agree with wendym and mello. I won't be able to watch the show from this point on because I just won't believe she will find love with the other guys. Watching the show from the start I knew it was Graham but now that he is gone there is no reason to continue watching. It would only feel fake. I'm not saying she doesn't have feelings for the others, but she was 'in love' with Graham. Anyone who has been in love knows the signs well...acting like a schoolgirl, butterflies in your stomach and everything around you disappears when your with them. It's a no brainer people! And there is a difference between someone not wanting to communicate their feelings and someone afraid because of the awkwardness of being around cameras. I myself believe that Deanna could have been a little more sympathetic and respectful of that. She knew he was uncomfortable but he also told her he was trying and he was. Shame on you Deanna.

It was a great show! Graham you're genuine and don't change. Maybe we will meet again as they say! (The Bachelor perhaps? On your terms?)

[Lauren]

I think this was a very difficult decision.DeAnna obviously feels a connection with Graham that she doesn't feel with the others. I think that's really important. If DeAnna dated Graham after the show ended, I think they would fall in love. Graham obviously has some issues with opening up. Maybe he can get some therapy to help with this since it would be a problem in the future for his relationships. Good luck to both of them.

[Tina]

Deanna made the right move by sending him packing. Graham was too jealous, angry, selffish, unable to communicate or make commitments or comprise; all they had was physical...not enough to last

[Samantha]

I think DeAnna made the absolutely RIGHT move sending Graham home. Even though she was heartbroken, because she did care for him so much, you can't base a marriage on hoping someone will be what you need. Graham had never had a serious relationship and Deanna is ready to get married. Graham isn't on the same level as Deanna in that area. I think that Jason is the one for her! Ever since I first saw his interview tape I thought that! He's great!

[Amanda]

HUGE MISTAKE!! My heart was broken last night!! I am married to someone like Graham and I am very similar to DeAnna. I just want to tell her, it can work out in the end. They balance each other out! She doesn't need someone like her, she already has herself. Outside of this show, they would be able to work through this part of their relationship. Communication is important, and I can say, from experience, that if it is meant to be, you work through those things. BRING GRAHAM BACK!! They need another chance! You can tell if they were not on the show, a relationship with Graham is what DeAnna would pursue above all the other guys. She needs to consider that. I can't wait until next week to see what he will say. I hope that by now, with the show being over, they will have a chance to discuss their relationship and they will give it a chance! It's totally worth the risk!! I'm speaking from experience!

[rmya]

I think DeAnna made a huge mistake.when graham left sterday there was love and pain in his eyes. it was really heartbroken. PLS bring him back.They both are made for each other.

[sad]

I think that love and passion in a relationship and even more important in a marriage are a must. I feel that she was afraid that he didn't return her feelings and so she choose to play it safe. However, choosing someone who loves you when you don't feel the same way in the end will never work. With great risk comes great reward and great love. I think she will regret this decision in the end. I think she should have given him one more chance to open up and had that conversation with him before she let him go and not after, to ensure he had the opportunity to tell her how he felt.