WIFE SWAP - Sasquatch vs Larry the Cable Guy

   Usually I find myself empathizing more with the sloppy, fun-loving families on Wife Swap than the rigid, strict families.  However, the families they choose to embody the different approaches to raising a family are usually so extreme and polarizing that it's tough to relate to either family.  Nobody is just sort of messy or a little strict on Wife Swap - they're either full-on slobs or iron-fisted tyrants. 

This week was no exception, as Michelle Flynn of the fun-loving and chore-averse Flynn family swaps places with Mishelle Orris of the disciplined Orris family, who put work and cleanliness first.   Mishelle inspects the teeth of the kids with a toothpick before they can venture out into the world.  "The Orris family has an extremely high standard for oral hygiene," Mishelle explains.  Well, at least she used the word "extremely." 

When the kids step out of line in the Orris family, ex-military stepdad Terry puts them through "yard drills."  Terry reminds me of wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin.  When the kids step out of line at the Flynn home, dad Patrick is usually egging them on with burps and practical jokes and casual profanity.  "You either like the Flynns or you don't," says Patrick.  "And if you don't, man, I feel sorry for you.  Because we're awesome."  Patrick reminds me of Larry the Cable Guy.

As  usual, the visiting mothers butt heads with their temporary husbands and there is a lot of drama and tears.  This week's culture clash was unusually heated, as fun-loving Patrick chafes under Mishelle's judgmental authoritarian rule.  He gets downright mean and childishly abusive.

"I'm not dealing with a woman, I'm dealing with Sasquatch, man,"  Patrick tells us.  "She's got man hands." 

The mind-blower for me was during the rules change ceremony, when Mishelle turns the table on the Flynns and implements her draconian new rules.  Patrick sat on the couch between his two kids calling Mishelle names and swearing at her - and then totally loses it when she fights back.  I guess he's upset about being called names in front of his kids, but respect is a two-way street, eh Patrick?

Of course, both families learn a little something from the experience - mostly how much they appreciate their own mothers.  Patrick does end up apologizing to Mishelle for calling her "Sasquatch" and "fat piece of trash" and "BLEEPING BLEEP" so there might be hope for him.  Still, you'll never find that guy teaching an etiquette course.

Wife Swap - the show that makes you appreciate your own relatively sane family.

--Dave Campbell

Comments

[Nelly]

I would of taken a baseball bat to his fat-ass. If you really new the whole truth, Mishelle Orris did fight back but ABC is such an ummoral show, they didnt show that. They filmed over 400 hours of these families and showed 44 minon TV. ABC lied to both families about what will get showed and what wouldnt. They were also told they would get to veiw the show before it aired and that didnt happen. I know they get 20k for this. However, When you go into this National show,,,being told,. you get to veiw it before it airs, and the producers tell you, that...Oh,,,we wont air "that" part,,this is a "Family" show,,,we cant show that...and they show ALL THE TRASH. What lies and bastards you are ABC,.,,you basically sell your soul to the DEVIL. Im sure most of the people would have handed the money back had they knew ahead of time how they would of twisted the show.