THE BACHELOR - Drink up!

Once again, my pet theory about the fate of suitors who sing to The Bachelor was validated by this week's episode.  You know Ashlee, the 22 year old singer/songwriter who enjoys serenading Matt during one-on-one time?  She got cut from the competition this week.  I'm telling you, singing to Matt is the Kiss of Death, no matter how much he says he likes it.

Granted, that might not have been the only reason Ashlee didn't make the cut.  During a private chat, Matt asked her some probing questions about whether she'd relocate to the UK with him.  Ashlee's answer probably didn't inspire a lot of confidence - she said that they could make something work regardless of whether she travelled with him or if he travelled with her.  That probably set off alarm bells in the London investment banker's mind.  "Hold on, she wants me to follow her around on singing gigs?"  I have the feeling that Matt is looking for a girl who will adapt to his world, not the other way around.  It was no surprise when Ashlee didn't get a rose at the end of the night.

I was surprised that Holly didn't get a rose, however.  She and Marshana went on a double-doom-date with Matt - only one of them would be coming back with a rose while the other one got to take the Limo Ride of Shame.  Everyone (including Marshana) expected Matt to give Holly the rose since they seemed to have hit it off during their first date, but Matt wasn't feeling it.  He was attracted to Holly, but felt that their conversations were sometimes difficult, so she got the boot.

The third girl eliminated from the show was Kelly, who violated another time-honored Bachelor rule - don't get stinking drunk and make a fool of yourself.  "I feel like a stuffy Brit around you," was all Matt could manage after a clearly inebriated Kelly flashed her bra at him during a private conversation.  A lot of guys would have no problem at all with that, but Matt clearly wasn't impressed - after all, he is looking for a soulmate, not a one-night stand.  "Why do that?" Matt said in a confessional.  Everyone watching the show was asking the same thing, Matt.

The exit interviews for the girls who don't make it are always very telling, because they finally let their guard down and act naturally.  Kelly, who was still a little wobbly, had a hilarious and illuminating quote:  "Do I think he made a mistake?  Obviously, I mean - hello?  I'd be in to me.  Any dude would want to date me.  Maybe he couldn't handle me."  Or maybe you couldn't handle that sixth glass of wine...

Okay, so singing to The Bachelor and flashing Thelma & Louise at him are not good ways to capture his heart.  What is the best strategy?  At this point, strategy is sort of out the window for the surviving suitors - from here on it's just going to come down to who is most compatible with him, and any stunts or attempts to get his attention are going to be irrelevant.

My favorite contestant Noelle is still on the show, so I'm happy.  She even got some long-delayed face time with Matt this week.  I'm hoping that she'll make it to the end.  She should do fine as long as she keeps "the girls" in her blouse and avoids singing to Matt.

--Dave Campbell

Comments

[Tyler]

For some reason, I have been watching this show (kind of against my will), and I am hoping that the finale involves some kind of Thunderdome match to determine the winner. In fact, if ABC gives away passes where you can hang on the cage and chant, "Two girls enter; one girl leaves", please, please, PLEASE hook me up with a pair. I'm just down the street from ABC HQ.

Actually it looks like that whole Thunderdome thing might happen next week. Marshana has some issues and it started to show last night, so it's not surprising that she wants to throw down with someone in the house. She crazy.

[Kevin]

My lady loves this show (I like it as background to World of Warcraft) but I'll comment on this like I'm a big fan:

There is no way anyone should have been surprised that Holly didn't get the Rose. I'm not a fan of Marshana but she always gave real, thoughful answers to anything Matt asked. Holly's solution to any difficult question was "we can sort that out later." or commenting on how crazy this competition is.

If you're trying to win a rich, good looking, funny guy I would suggest having something to say other than "isn't this crazy?" and hoping your looks will win him over. Seriously, do you think he has trouble finding hot chicks?