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OPRAH'S BIG GIVE - Road trip

Georgia was the scene for this week’s episode, as the five remaining contestants – Stephen, Rachael, Cameron, Brandi, and Sheg – are sent on a road trip all across the state, with instructions to perform random acts of kindness to complete strangers in small towns and not get arrested. Well, Nate Berkus didn’t come out and say “don’t get arrested” but it was implied. 

How would one get arrested for giving, you might ask?  Throwing handfuls of cash out of your car window on an interstate would be one way.  Donating heavy sacks of pennies to pedestrians by dropping them from a tall building would be another.  See?  You have to put some thought into giving to avoid injury and jail. 

Fortunately the contestants weren't dangerously random with their random acts of kindness this week.  The only contestant who had trouble was Rachael, who offered her help to an old woman who didn’t really want it. Instead of saying “thanks” and quickly moving on to somebody else, Rachael won’t let it go. She grabs a broom and dustpan and sweeps out under the bewildered woman’s porch instead of doing something that would be appreciated elsewhere. It seemed more an act of stubbornness rather than kindness – and the judges didn’t call he on it!

Instead (SPOILER) Sheg got kicked off this week for a costly mistake. 

He did great with the random acts phase, when he offered some comfort and help to a grieving woman who had just lost her daughter, but Sheg really dropped the ball when he was helping the Murphys, who have a family of 28 (!) adopted special-needs kids. He cleaned out their garage, which was great, but then he hosted a luau party in the garage for the kids that cost $500. It was a nice gesture, but Sheg never bothered to ask the Murphys how he could best help them. That $500 could have been put to better use than just a one-time party. A costly mistake for Sheg!

Now only Stephen, Cameron, Brandi, and Rachael remain. I think Rachael will be next to go, and then it will come down to a battle between Stephen and Brandi.  Cameron's very resourceful, but Stephen and Brandi have a real knack for getting people involved and excited.  I think that inspiring others is going to be the deciding quality that wins this contest.  And not getting arrested.

--Dave Campbell

DANCING WITH THE STARS - Update!

The battle for dance supremacy is heating up as we enter the next round of this season's Dancing with the Stars competition on Monday, March 31st at 8 PM.  This week our ten remaining contestants will dance the tango or jive - yes, jive.  What does jive even look like?  I don't know, but I guess I'm going to learn Monday night.

BTW, I'll be doing a live color commentary at the Dancing with the Stars Live Blog.  It's an exciting journey into the world of insta-commentary - which in my case means lots of spelling errors, unenlightened commentary and cattiness about what people are wearing.  Come visit!

Since Penn Jillette and Monica Seles were brutally eliminated last week, the field of contestants has been narrowed to ten competetive couples.  Let's take a look at where everyone is currently ranked before the next stage begins, shall we?

Leading the pack are Kristi "The Guchi" Yamaguchi and her partner Mark Ballas with 54 out of 60 points.  As I predicted, The Guchi has utterly dominated on the dance floor - her foxtrot on the first night got a 27 from the judges, which was a Week 1 performance record.  She and Mark scored another 27 for their mambo last week, giving them a total of 54 out of 60 points, and a sizeable lead.  Kristi Yamaguchi is like an unstoppable dance cyborg from the future.

Not far behind The Guchi are R&B star Mario and Katarina Smirnoff, who have a combined score of 50.  The couple scored a 24 for their cha-cha-cha and a 26 for their quickstep, and are clearly a threat to Yamaguchi's supremacy.  Rumours are swirling that the couple are heating up off the dance floor as well, but Mario is denying it.  Did I not say that Mario seemed awfully kissy with Katarina?  I did indeed.

NFL macho man Jason Taylor and his partner Edyta Sliwinska are within striking distance of first place, too.  They currenty hold a combined score of 49, after receiving 22 for their foxtrot and a 27 for their mambo.  Taylor has a certain grace and elegance and he is almost superhumanly handsome - the ladies seem to like him.  With that combination of high scores and lots of votes, Taylor is a definite contender.

The charming Marlee Matlin and her partner Fabian Sanchez are next with a combined score of 46 out of 60.  The deaf Oscar-winning actress scored a 22 for her cha-cha-cha and a 24 for her quickstep.  She's very inspiring - we get lots of comments on the live blog from people who love Marlee.  You have to admire her attitude and her technique for overcoming her deafness and embracing her inner cha-cha-cha.

Next up, actress Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough, who make a cute couple.  Ah, but dancers cannot survive on cuteness alone - they scored a 21 for their cha-cha-cha and a 24 for their quickstep.  They're score is trending upwards, but right now they're in the middle of the pack with a combined score of 45.  Lots of potential, though.  I don't know if this helps in her overall score, but Shannon is a dog person.  She helped co-found an animal rescue organization, which makes her pretty cool.  That's worth a few votes, surely.

Priscilla Presley and her partner Louis van Amstel also have a score of 45.  They received a score of 24 for their foxtrot, due in no small part to Priscilla's daring "death spiral" move.  That was something else.  However, the week after they only got a 21 for their mambo - trending in the wrong direction.  They need to focus on Priscilla's strengths and choose more graceful and elegant dances when possible  - I bet they'll tango Monday night.

Behind Priscilla and Louis are Christian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke, with a surprisingly low 41 points.  I had high hopes for them, but they're off to a slow start.  They got a 21 for their cha-cha-cha and a disappointing 20 for their quickstep.  Judging from the rehearsal footage it looks like Christian has been slack on his training and needs to crank it up a notch. Maybe a bit too cocky?  He needs to get his head in the game.

Marissa Jaret Winokur and her partner Tony Dovolani have a combined score of 39 out of 60, and let's be frank here - that is not an awesome score in anybody's world.  However, the audience loves Marissa (myself included) and her scores are climbing.  The couple got an 18 for their cha-cha-cha and a 21 for their quickstep.  They're heading in the right direction. Tony seems like a really cool guy and a great teacher - it would be a shame if they left this week.

At the bottom of the pack we have Steve Guttenberg aka The Gutte and his partner/taskmaster Anna Trebunskaya.  What they lack in technical skill they make up in charm and Guttenberg's gee-whiz optimism.  They are in last place with a combined score of 34 points after receiving 18 points for their foxtrot and 16 points for their mambo.  I would like The Gutte to stick around because he seems to be having so much fun.

Tying Guttenberg's low score is Adam Carrola and his partner Julianne Hough, who also have 34 points.  Ouch.  Adam's fan base may have kept him from elimination last round, but his dancing's going to have to improve a lot if he wants to survive. 

Who knows, maybe jive is his dance?

Come join me at the Dancing with the Stars Live Blog Monday night, and during Tuesday's results show as well when we see the next couple to dance the Dance of Shame.  It's going to be jivetacular.

--Dave Campbell

ELI STONE - The George Michael Episode

It dawned on me while watching this week's Eli Stone that just about the only character who hasn't sang or danced on the show is Eli himself.   This week we got to see Eli's boss Jordan once again break into song, which is always awesome, and a Sonny and Cher duet by Taylor and Matt Dowd.  I think at this point everyone in the law firm has had a turn at the mike with the exception of Eli himself. 

Usually Eli is a bewildered witness to all these hallucinatory musical spectacles, a passive observer.  It would be great if Eli had a fully interactive vision/hallucination that actually required him to sing and dance.  Just once is all I ask.  Get on that, Eli Stone producers!

"I Want Your Sex" was the name of this week's episode as well as, duh, the name of the George Michael episode at the center of the plot.  The Man himself hires Stone's firm to defend a high school student who was expelled from her school for playing "I Want Your Sex" during a school abstinence assembly as a protest.  Why Eli?  Because George Michael had a dream that told him to seek out Eli Stone, and George Michael listens to his dreams.

The best part of the episode was - no surprise here - Victor Garber's performance as Eli's normally unflappable boss Jordan, who is reduced to star struck awe by George Michael.   The scene where Victor first meets George Michael (pictured above) was priceless -  he just stares in wonder at George Michael like a 13 year old girl.   Well, a 13 year old girl from the year 1987 anyway.  The whole episode added a new dimension to Jordan's character and was funny to boot.   Who knew Jordan was a George Michael fanboy?

Other noteworthy events this episode:  Taylor sleeps with Matt Dowd after he bares his soul in court, but is outraged when she learns that his emotional courtroom revelation was a lie designed to win their case.  Poor Taylor hasn't had the best luck with men.

This episode was also noteworthy for the relatively small cast.  We didn't see Maggie Dekker,  Patti, Dr. Chen, or Keith Bennett, or what's his name, Jordan's unscrupulous right hand man whose name I can never recall.  I guess that's what happens when you bring in superstar George Michael - you have so much awesomeness packed into your show that there's no room for anybody else.

Hey, I just thought of something else - Eli's brother Nate has never sung on the show either, has he?  He appeared as a knight in the dragon/Dr. Agon episode, but I can't remember ever seeing him sing, or even hum a few bars.  They need to have Nate sing, too.

Maybe an Eli/Nate duet...?

--Dave Campbell

SUPERNANNY - Monster Island

“It’s disgusting,” Supernanny said. “I feel like I’m in a subway.”

Supernanny Jo Frost does not pull punches when it comes to critiquing the décor of a family’s home.  In this case she was referring to the adolescent warzone in the basement of the Weinstein house where four kids (ranging in age from 7 to 2) hurl furniture, smash toys, punch holes in the drywall, and scrawl kiddy graffiti on the walls. 

Parents Chia and David have given up on the basement and let the kids get all destructo in a controlled and designated space - much like when the Japanese military put Godzilla on Monster Island.

Sticking with the movie analogies, if the kids are Godzilla, then the dad acts like the drill sergeant from An Officer and a Gentleman.  He grabs his kids and roars orders at them and pretty much just bullies them.  As you might imagine, Jo does not approve.

Once again Jo had a series of games and exercises designed to reinforce her point.  My favorite this time is when she made overbearing dad sit on the grass while she screamed in his ear.  “Oh, you don’t like that do you?”  That was awesome.

Of course, Supernanny is a match for any dad, and after breaking him down, she builds him back up into a mellow, kinder dad.  In the end, the trashed basement is transformed into a happy, graffiti-free play room, and the Weinsteins are transformed into a happy family.  Man, Supernanny is like a Parenting Fairy that just waves her magic wand and transforms you into a perfect family! 

Come visit my house, Parenting Fairy!

--Dave Campbell

MEN IN TREES - A Tale of Two Kidneys

 

Jack:  “So you’re planning on giving your kidney away to some guy without even telling me.”

I’m trying to figure out how I would feel if the woman I loved wanted to donate her kidney to some totally hot guy that calls her “princess.”  Jack doesn’t respond well when he finds out Marin is willing to lose a kidney to help the ailing Cash on this week’s Men in Trees.  He says he’s upset because of Marin’s lack of communication about such a big decision that affects them both, but we all know Jack’s just jealous.   I probably would be, too.  How can a normal mortal compete with a demigod like Cash in the Game of Love?*

Of course, Jack comes around and realizes that this is just Marin being protective and generous and he should be lucky he’s with such a swell gal.  Plus, how upset can Jack really be about Marin’s relationship with Cash considering his relationship with Julia?  There’s clearly something between Jack and Julia beyond the bond they forged as survivors of the boat accident.  I’m thinking Jack needs to take a look inside himself before he throws a hissy fit about Marin and Cash.

Let’s see, what else happened? 

·         Ivan the Croatian hockey player is quite the prima donna, isn’t he?  He’s got his sights set on Annie – I don’t think his intentions are 100% honorable.  Plus, he was rude to Ben – not cool! The cell phone call with his dad was a nice touch, so maybe Ivan has a soft side after all.

·         I liked how Terri felt so bad about “causing” Patrick  to be struck by lightning that he embarked on a karmic payback plan – and that he decided that donating a kidney to Cash would pay off his karmic debt in one fell swoop.

·         Annie’s new Sandy Duncan haircut was cute, even if she did get it to impress Ivan.

·         Terri’s tiki hut decorations in Cash’s hospital room were awesome – I’m sure he broke a dozen fire codes, but if I had to stay in the hospital I’d want décor like that.

·         Dick just gloms on to Celia, doesn’t he?  He's like her shadow.  Dude, there’s such a thing as personal space.

·         It rained a lot during this episode, didn’t it?  Just something I noticed.

Next week:  kidney transplant wackiness with Cash and Terri and a visit from Morgan Fairchild. 

Believe it:  Morgan.  Fairchild.

--Dave Campbell

*Yes, I said "Game of Love" without irony.

DANCING WITH THE STARS - Double elimination!

Tonight is the first Dancing with the Stars results show, where we get to see who doesn't make the cut.  One of the male contestants and one of the female contestants will see their dreams of dance stardom turn into a nightmare of failure.  It's going to be awesome.  Plus!  Musical guest The Jonas Brothers and some Cirque de Soleil craziness.  Plus!  We get to see whether co-host Samantha Harris is wearing a beautiful or not-beautiful dress.  It's 50/50.  As usual, I will be covering the whole thing on the Dancing with the Stars Live Blog.  Drop by and say hello, won't you?

Hey, you know who's NOT going home tonight?

The Guchi.

--Dave Campbell

THE BACHELOR - Sing and go home

The big take-away from this week’s The Bachelor:  if you want to stay in the game, don’t sing to Matt.

Two of the three girls that were sent packin’ at this week’s rose ceremony serenaded our British bachelor during one-on-one time. 

Big mistake. 

Michelle P stared deep into Matt’s eyes and sang a song that she had written just for him while the other girls snickered in the background.  We just got a couple of reaction shots of Matt with a frozen smile on his face so it was hard to tell what Matt’s reaction was, but he was probably thinking something like, “Bloody hell!  When will this stop?  I’m going to have to fake an aneurysm or something.”

Despite the scorn they felt, some of the other girls got it in their heads that they should sing to Matt, too.  During her one-on-one time with Matt, Carri bust out with an opera version of Gershwin’s “Summertime.”  Carri has a lovely voice, but it’s hard not to look a little goofy when you’re doing the Opera Face.  Again, Matt’s reaction seemed polite but I’m guessing that he was a little uncomfortable.

Why?  I’m going to generalize here, so forgive me.  Guys don’t like being sung to – we don’t find it romantic, it’s just awkward and weird.  I imagine this applies to British guys as well.  I may be wrong, but both Carri and Michelle P left the show this week, so I think not.  Matt was probably thinking that both Carri and Michelle were nice, but if they’re willing to break into song once, they could do it again.  They’re song time bombs – you never know if they’ll sing to you in a restaurant or on a crowded bus or in a taxi.  When will that inevitable next song explode?

The big surprise for me was that Matt gave Shayne a rose after the blond actress’ double meltdown.  I don’t know, maybe he just wants a cute California girl in his coterie and he’s willing to put up with the drama.  He said himself, “the drama side is just such a big turn off for me.”  And was it just me or did she seem a little drunk during both her conversations with Matt?  If she wasn’t drunk and she’s like that normally – yikes!  I can’t figure out his motivation, unless it’s entirely sexual, in which case, never mind – I can figure that out.

My favorite contestant Noelle didn’t get a lot of screen time this episode, which doesn’t bode well for her long term chances.  Maybe she’s just more socially conservative than the other girls and isn’t willing to belt out some show tunes or do the Butt Dance.  I wonder if being outrageous and socially competitive is a good strategy for hooking up with The Bachelor, or just a good strategy for getting on camera a lot.  I hope Noelle gets a chance.

Alas, Carri, Erin H, and Michelle P have had their chance and been sent home.  Michelle’s exit interview was really sad – she talked at length about going home and being with her cat while she cried.  I felt kind of bad for her and hope she finds some guy that likes cats and women who sing to him.  Such a guy may be rare, but surely he’s out there somewhere.

--Dave Campbell

DANCING WITH THE STARS - Live tonight!

OK, this week we have a two-day Dancing with the Stars live event.  Tonight all twelve contestants  dance their celebrity hearts out!  On Tuesday, dreams of victory turn into "a nightmare of failure" as Tom Bergeron says, when two contestants are sent packing.

Come check out the play-by-play commentary on the Dancing with the Stars Live Blog!  Now!

--Dave Campbell

OPRAH'S BIG GIVE - Welcome to Miami

You have $100,000 and 24 hours to give it away.  What do you do?  Ah, but what if you can only give $500 per person, and can’t spend more than $10,000 in one place?  OK, but what if you can’t give out any cash?

This was the challenge the seven remaining contestants faced on Oprah’s Big Give this week.  Billionaire brothers Joe and Gavin Maloof, who own the Sacramento Kings, showed up in Miami with a suitcase full of cash that they hoped to never see again.  It turned out that they’d see a lot of that cash again, because apparently giving away a hundred grand under these conditions is a lot harder than it looks.

Some of the seven were more up to the challenge than others.  Stephen was the only person who gave away all his money – he bought appliances, computers, iPods, and TVs at different stores and then passed them out door-to-door in a low income neighborhood.  Stephen got bonus heartwarming points for recruiting his dad to help him.

Eric gave away $70,000, but ran into a time crunch and ended up not following through on a commitment to pay funeral expenses for a firefighter’s family and ended up just getting a bunch of gift cards with the remaining funds he had.  Rachael gave away about $56,000 and was a little more mellow this week – probably because she didn’t have to work with a team.  Brandi gave away $65,000, and was inspired to buy up a roadside flower vendor’s entire stock and then gave away flowers to passing motorists.  That sounds dangerous, but the motorists in question were stopped at an intersection; she wasn’t just tossing flowers at speeding cars.

Sheg unloaded $80,000 during his 24 hours, including paying for a shopping spree in a grocery store in a poor neighborhood that practically wiped out the store’s inventory.  Cameron gave away $67,000.  He had a great idea to pay for $500 worth of car repairs for every customer at a garage.  The reaction of the little kid who found out Cameron was paying to fix their car was really sweet – you could tell that the boy was really moved and hopefully inspired by Cameron’s gesture.

Kim wiped out big time, though.  She only gave away $16,500 to a pet shelter and spent most of her time hopelessly lost.  Remember the first episode, when Kim and Marlene couldn’t find the military base?  This was a thousand times worse, and it cost her big time.

This week two contestants got sent home – Kim and Eric.  The judges weren’t impressed with Eric – although he spent a lot of money, they felt he wasn’t creative enough about it and he fell through on his commitment to pay for the funeral.  Kim was the obvious other choice for elimination.  She seems like a nice gal, but as we’ve seen, nice isn’t enough on Oprah’s Big Give – results count.

-- Dave Campbell

EXTREME MAKEOVER HOME EDITION - Occupational hazards

This week the mighty Extreme Makeover machine rolled into Alabama to help community activists Stephen and Lydia Gaudet and their six sons trade up from their tiny, disaster-ravaged house into something a little more appropriate for such a big family.

The Gaudets are not just numerous, they’re big-hearted as well as physically big. I don’t know how those boys, ranging from 9 to 22, fit into that house. When Ty and the EM:HE crew show up in their front yard for the customary “Bullhorn Howdy” as I like to call it, the Gaudet boys literally burst from their cramped, run-down house and charge the team, overcome with excitement.

I’m starting to think that there are some inherent risks to being part of the EM:HE crew, aside from getting bonked by the occasional panel of drywall. Sometime people – particularly males – get so excited that they have to express their joy with acts of affectionate violence. Remember last week, when the biker pastor hoisted Ty into the air and spun him around? That was nothing. The Gaudet boys deal out rib-cracking bear hugs to everyone on the show, and when they charge the crew like a pack of rampaging silverback gorillas, tackling Ty and designer John Littlefield.

While all the other designers wisely step out of the way, Littlefield gets love-tackled – hard. The force of the blow sends him off the lawn and on to the street, where he lands head first on the concrete under several hundred pounds of happy Gaudet boy. I winced when I saw that. Seriously, I thought we would next see John in a neck brace with two black eyes. But EM:HE doesn’t hire wimpy designers.  John dusted himself off, took some ibuprofen, and got to work.

While the family was in Disneyland, Gaudet Home 1.0 was demolished and replaced by the spacious, stylish version 2.0. This was a really cool house, with a huge kitchen and living room, a giant TV room that could seat the whole family comfortably, and an assortment of cool theme bedrooms. The youngest son, 9-year old Peter, has Down syndrome, so Ty built him a colorful, cheery room packed with appropriate sensory doo-dads to keep him engaged and stimulated.

Ty and company did a great job on this one, and the new house was much appreciated by the Gaudets. I tried to keep score of the number of crushing hugs in this episode but gave up after 25. Suffice to say, the new home went over very well, and the EM:HE crew lived to build another day.

--Dave Campbell