WIFE SWAP - When Worlds Collide!

Wife Swap is all about bringing folks of different backgrounds and world views together… and then watching them FREAK EACH OTHER OUT.

You know the drill:  the wives of two different families exchange places for two torturous weeks.  During the first week the wives must live by the rules of the household they are visiting, which is usually a living nightmare for the wife.  During the second week the tables are turned and the wives impose their own rules on their temporary families, which is usually a living nightmare for the family.

This episode featured Kim and Randall of the liberal Lutheran Beckman Heskett family vs born again fundamentalists Leanne and Chris Childs.  I should have probably put Chris’s name first in that last sentence because he is the man and in his world, men come first.

The Childs clan are a big family raised on traditional values, with husband Chris as the spiritual head of the household.  They are devoted to a fundamentalist interpretation of the Bible, which means that wife Leanne is expected to be a happy helpmate to Chris and the kids have “cheerful servants’ hearts.”  On the other end of the spectrum, the Beckman Heskett family are Lutherans with a more subjective and intellectual view of The Bible.  Mom Kim is the career-oriented bread winner while husband Randall is the stay-at-home husband. 

Beckman Heskett family = oil, Childs family = water.

Kim is blown away by the patriarchal paradigm that rules the Childs home and thinks that Chris has brainwashed his kids into being obedient miniature versions of himself.  Leanne is gob-smacked by the looser family dynamic in the Beckman Heskett family and is very concerned about the attitude of the two daughters and the impact that dating and TV will have on them.  She can’t believe the way Kim and Randall raise their kids.  “You know who else thinks this is the best way to parent?” Kim asks.  “The devil.”

Equally discombobulated are the husbands Chris and Randall, who are pretty set in their ways.  Chris feels that a wife’s role is to be a happily obedient helper to the husband, who is undisputed head of the family.  His philosophy doesn’t work well with the career-oriented Kim.  Chris chafes against Kim’s liberated ways and the pernicious effect her ideas may have on his kids.  In his eyes she is “teaching with hate” and had brought a “level of darkness” to his family that is unacceptable. 

The other husband, Randall is a Biblical scholar and former preacher with multiple degrees who is fluent in a number of ancient languages – and he wants you to know it.  Randall seems not only distrusting of fundamentalist Christians, but outright contemptuous.  He says grace before meals in an over-the-top, mocking parody of an evangelical preacher and can’t handle Leanne’s judgmental mindset.  It seems like Randall thinks fundamentalists are ignorant, because at one point he says that Leanne has “intellectual limits” and that he “can’t expect her to come up to my level.”  His level is Super Duper Genius, BTW.

The participants in Wife Swap always seem to come across as intolerant and a little crazy.  I don’t know if that’s because they’re thrust into these stressful situations that challenge their core beliefs or because of the way the footage is edited or both.  Chris feels like his authority and control over his family are so threatened by Kim’s dangerous ideas that he physically removes his youngest daughters from the house for a while.  Randall breaks down under Leanne’s moral scrutiny and ends up weeping in bed at one point.  Dude, pull it together.

Some of the rule changes that take effect during the second week of Wife Swap are truly bizarre.  Last week one of the swapped wives tried to teach a rebellious girl responsibility by making her carry a stuffed baby doll around, which was both ineffectual and weird.  This week, Kim tried to undo nearly two decades of upbringing in one fell swoop by making the chaste teen girls of the Childs family go speed dating.  Whaaa--?  I’ve heard of busy adults going speed dating, but do teenagers really do speed dating?  Are their schedules that full?  It just seemed like a kooky idea for any teenagers, let alone fundamentalist Christian teenagers.  Leanne on the other hand, wanted the more secular Beckman girls to write vows promising to refrain from dating until after they were married or something.  That also seemed weird, like Leanne was trying to contractually trap the girls into celibacy.  As it turned out, the Childs girls refused to go speed dating and Kim released her girls from their vows when she returned home, so the whole thing was kind of a wash.

In the end, both wives happily return to where they belong and order is restored to their respective universes.  On some shows it looks like the Wife Swap experience actually enriched their lives, but for the most part I think it just makes everyone thankful for their own families. Have they really learned anything?  I always wonder. 

--Dave Campbell

Comments

[Arkonbey]

You get extra points for using the word 'gobsmacked' in a correct and un-gratuitous manner.

[boychucker]

Christ, this show is insane. The women are freaky but the husbands are a million times worse! If I was married to one of these losers, I'd kill myself.

[PennDragon]

In my opinion...

The Childs are raising their own personal cult...how are the girls going to find life partners under such stringent rules?...oh...but they have the power of prayer...

I will say this...

my step daughter was raised in a similar household, and my husband's ex-wife (whom he, (my husband), left because of her (his ex) insane commitment to Christ) went on to meet and marry a child molester because she prayed for a husband...(it's a proven fact they prey on these women because of their naivety)

when my step daughter turned 18 and graduated high school...she left and moved in with her boyfriend who she met at church camp...and according to her mother they are now "living in sin" ...

The Childs need to wake up...they didn't learn anything...but they spread the word of Christ, or at least in their warped understanding of reality, they did...

I just wonder how much, and what levels of abuse that young girl was subjected to when her father drove off without cameras on the situation because she was truly shaken when seen again, and after that it was very apparent that she was not speaking for herself...

when she spoke her truth of wanting a career and a family she was bright and animated, and happy...when she came back after that incident she was sullen, withdrawn, and sad...the very real signs of child abuse.

My step daughter's step father is now serving a sentence of over 200 years in prison for his acts against her...and her mother, when first made aware of the situation, instead of going to the authorities...went to her church, where they prayed about it and allowed him to continue to molest her for another 9 months...but it was ok, because they were praying about it, until child welfare stepped in...and for that, I thank God.

as for the other family, if they are comfortable with their roles, who are we to judge?...they are supportive of their kids, and they communicate as a family, and look like they are handling their situation well from the home she is providing...he is a little odd...but she seems to like it, and that is ok.

someone needs to keep real tabs on the Childs...there is something bigger going on there, and those kids will pay the price.

[Moyra Herbert]

Please oh please get the clue that this show is long past its cancel time !!!!!!!!

Waste of air time!!!

[Heather]

I'm a seminarian, well on my way to attaining a Master's in Divinity, so I was extremely interested in watching this show. I thought it would be enlightening to see how these different families dealt with challenges to their worldviews. But instead of being intrigued, I found myself outraged.

Chris and Leanne are appalling parents, quite possibly the worst examples of Christian adults I have ever seen. They have washed from their beautiful young daughters any traces of individuality,any aspirations for the future beyond motherhood. I wept when I saw how poor Colunbia ended up, broken and pale again at the end of the program. She showed, for a few precious minutes, a spark of hope. And those monster parents of hers crushed it. I was sickened. Colunbia, if you ever get to read this, PLEASE don't give up your dreams, honey. You CAN be anything you want to be. And you would be a brilliant doctor.

When those kids finally escape from that prison, I have a feeling they'll be pretty soured on religion. What a horrible shame. Because religion is not at fault here.

The parents are.

[Nicola]

Mostly I just find this show silly but entertaining. This episode, however, truly saddened me. I feel so sorry for Columbia. She is the only one in that family that showed a spark of individuality and hope, which her monstrous father promptly crushed. By the end of the show she was back to being an automaton - and a sad one at that. I am concerned about what kind of abuse she may have been subjected to off camera to turn her from a happy hopeful child so quickly into a beaten down sad one. I hope child welfare steps in and investigates this family.

[Shelle]

When the Childs wife was in the bathroom at the beginning of the show and told her daughter to clean happily, like she would do if Jesus was there, all I could think was what would make Jesus happy about you pretending to be cheerful? Being Jesus, wouldn't he know your true feelings anyway?

I worry about those children. What types of spouses can they find and how will they ever cope in the real world. While holding onto family values is nothing inherently bad, complete ignorance of the outside world cannot be helping them in the long run! Especially for the girls, if they ever do find husbands they will betrapped in such a relationship with nowhere to turn and no way to help themselves (say they have an abusive husband or are left). Those are the types of people who stay in abusive and dangerous situations and can eventually put their children at risk as well.

[Jebus Christ]

Two words for Chris Childs:

Child Molestor!
Child Molestor!!
Child Molestor!!!

Okay, that was two words three times.

[Jebus]

Oops! It's Child Molester (when properly spelled).

But I know one when I see one.