CASHMERE MAFIA - The Pros and Cons of Swordplay

I’ve thought about this and I really do think that Cashmere Mafia would be vastly improved if the women carried swords.

Hear me out. It’s not just because every time I see Lucy Liu onscreen I half expect her to whip out a samurai sword and cut somebody down in the middle of an editorial board meeting. It’s not just because the four women are surrounded by insufferable, treacherous, and cowardly men. It’s not just because Juliet is played by Miranda Otto, who played the sword-swinging, horse-riding, butt-kicking Eowyn in the Lord of the Rings movies. It’s… well, actually those are the three reasons I think the Cashmere Mafia should pack some steel.

This week’s episode was pretty rough on the girls. Let’s break it down:

Mia (Lucy Liu) has a “jackback” when her ex-fiance Jack is named the publisher of a rival media company and then decides he wants to get back together with her. This is the guy that dumped Mia when she got her high-powered publishing job because his male ego couldn’t handle having a fiancé with more swat than him. Sword for him.

Caitlin gets dumped by her pregnant girlfriend. No sword for her, that wouldn’t be right, but still: bummer.

Zoe pretty much single-handedly lands a billionaire client for her firm, but the Boy’s Club rewards her undeserving associate Clayton with the coveted senior managing director position. Sword for Clayton and Zoe’s boss.

Juliet is locked in a nasty divorce with her freakishly tall husband Davis, who retains a high-powered attorney and makes insanely unreasonable demands. Davis wants their lavish apartment and a stipend – “manimony” – plus he takes their car. He appears to have a change of heart when he’s hospitalized with a heart attack, but when it’s revealed that he’s just had an anxiety attack, he changes his mind again and goes back to being King Jackass. Sword for him.

To be fair, Juliet does exact some vengeance by reporting their car stolen and getting the police to impound it, but I think she needs to do less moping and just armor up and get all Middle-Earth on that dude.

Perhaps the Cashmere Mafia have a more civilized manner of dealing with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune; they get together over drinks or chocolate. Perhaps my male-oriented sword solution would be inappropriate for the show as well as being gratuitous, gory, and totally immoral. But I can’t help it, I just have difficulty imagining Lucy Liu and Miranda Otto without swords.

Maybe they could just, I don’t know, have one brief little dream sequence that involved swordplay? Would that be too much to ask?

See, this is why I don’t write female-oriented dramadies. I would totally suck at it.

-- Dave Campbell

Comments

[doc rock]

yeah, why's it called a mafia if there aren't any weapons or arse kicking or power wielding? Is this going to be another show about martyr women getting walked over?

[Ryder]

I have to admit the minute I heard of a show having both Lucy Liu and Miranda Otto I thought "YES WE'RE GONNA HAVE A SWORD FIGHT!"

C'mon I'd even be happy with them fencing or something.

In bikinis.

And $500 high heels.

Not too much to ask... is it? Even in a fantasy sequence? C'mon throw us guys a bone ABC. We're not watching because we like to see "Strong women living life" we want to see "Strong women kickin' ass and takin' names... who also wear expensive sexy clothes"

And yeah a Mafia needs weapons. Cocktails don't count.

[j-s]

I think that Cashmere Mafia kicks rear over Lipstick Jungle, but I agree I want to see these powerful (career) women, become powerful in their personal lives. You know that none of them got to where they are - professionally - by playing nice. So why can't someone like Juliet find a better lawyer than sleazebag Davis (although he IS super-hot, I must admit) and wipe the floor with him and all his mistresses?! I mean, there was more than just the one in NYC. I think she ought to find Elle Woods and accuse Davis of "reckless abandonment" due to the numerous emissions with numerous women. No sword fighting, but it would be highly enjoyable to watch a scene that showed him living under a bridge in Central Park.

[warrantygirl]

Absolutely on target! Swords for each of them. None of these women should be with the men in their lives. If they really are that successful career-wise, they would have powerful men drooling at them & trying for a little bit of "I'd be good for you ___-wise" action, not wimps who are "grown-up" children. The show also doesn't have the fun dialogue factor of Boston Legal or Sex & the City either.
Keep on watching Dave!