One Life to Live: Start Talking with Kristen

Senior Year Begins

Hey everyone. I hope that everyone and their friends and families in hurricane-affected areas are safe.

Even though the weather is sunny in Llanview this week, Starr didn’t get to enjoy the pool. When she ventured outside, she noticed Langston sitting there in her bikini which really upset Starr. She felt like she couldn’t join her because Starr would not feel comfy in a bathing suit and definitely not a bikini. Starr jokes that Langston is rubbing it in her face. Langston was a good friend and covered up her little bikini with a little skirt. :0)

Starr and Langston get to talking about Langston’s recent conversation with Cole. Starr is upset that Langston never said anything about Cole coming over. Starr felt like they were hiding their friendship from her. Remember, before Starr’s Sweet 16 when Cole and Langston were going to grief counseling and hanging out all of the time. “Oh, here we go again” is what was running through Starr’s mind. Langston was able to reassure her that that was not the case. In fact, Langston told Cole that she was always going to be on Starr’s side and that he better shape up. Now that’s a good friend. Cole doesn’t want Starr to be getting her own way all of the time so it’s good that Langston told him to shape up. It’s much better coming from her at this point instead of Starr. Don’t you think?

Langston also revealed to Starr that she wants to find her family, the Montezes. Starr is honest with Langston because she doesn’t want her to get her hopes up. Starr asks Langston why her mom wouldn’t have told her about them. Langston thinks that maybe she was embarrassed. But Starr is pretty straightforward with her and says if she was embarrassed, wouldn’t she just say “hey, you have an Uncle Ray but I’m really glad that you’ve never met because he is in prison?” If you ask me, it seems like there is some foreshadowing of some good drama coming up.

Starr really has the same fears that Dorian has at this point regarding Langston. She wants Langston to be a part of her family forever. If this new family is in the picture, she might not be around as much. Sounds like Starr’s maternal instincts are coming out. This also ties back to Michael’s fears for Marcie wanting to adopt the baby. He fears that Todd will try to get the baby back at some point. You and I know that the Mannings are not the most stable family in town (or in any town). Also, one day the child may wonder who his or her family is. Marcie is in denial about this possibility because she wants the baby so much. All of that being said, I still believe that Starr made the best possible choice for her and her baby by choosing adoption. The one tricky thing that is unique to this situation is that the baby will be living so close by. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

This week was my first week of senior year (well it was last week, but I couldn’t attend because of work). I barely have any classes which is pretty awesome. It’s a great schedule for me so I can really concentrate on the subjects that I have. It’s crazy to be a part of the oldest group at my school now that I am a senior. It feels like yesterday that I first came to high school and really looked up to the seniors. As a senior, I don’t feel as cool as I thought they were. To me, it just feels the same as being a freshman. It’s true what they say – high school goes by so quickly. I will enjoy it. I can’t believe that I will be done with high school at the end of this school year. Crazy, right?

‘Til next week,
XO
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Of course Starr wanted to be hanging out with her friends in a bikini, enjoying the last days of summer – she’s a teenager! And that’s what the teen years are for --spending time with friends, having fun, focusing on school and social life and the future – not for worrying about a pregnancy and parenthood. Of course she wasn’t thinking about the consequences when she and Cole were caught up in the heat of the moment last spring and decided to have sex without protection but now those consequences are all she has time for. It’s amazing how one night, one decision, one split-second of thinking it won’t happen to you -- or not thinking about it at all -- can change everything.

That’s why it’s important to have a plan and know what you’ll do and say when the time comes. As Starr has learned, and as more than 700,000 other teen girls in America will learn this year, once there’s a pregnancy, all roads ahead are difficult. Talking about it is important – so discuss it with friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, parents and other trusted adults, but most of all talk to yourself about it. Know where you stand and what’s important to you. And if you're not sure where you stand, that's a great reason to take it slow, and figure it out before the moment arrives.

For more information about sex, love, relationships, waiting, contraception and other important stuff, go to www.stayteen.org. And tell us in the comments how this storyline and Starr’s experience have affected you.

Back to School

Hey everyone!

This week is my back to school week, but I haven’t had a chance to start my senior year yet because I have been busy taping Starr’s junior year. I’m really looking forward to it. Starr, on the other hand, isn’t looking forward to her first day at all. You’ll see in the next couple of weeks that going back to school for Starr isn’t going to be an easy or fun thing.

This week, Todd interrupted Starr’s Lamaze class and she was extremely worried about the mischief he would cause. He ended up apologizing and gave what seemed to be a very genuine apology. Starr believed him because she loves him so much and because she does want their relationship to work out. She also doesn’t want there to be more problems between Todd and Marcie. She wants a peaceful birth without a fight for custody. Todd has another plan. I was watching the show recently and was really shocked by Todd’s scenes with Marty. He is so manipulative, but the scenes were entertaining. I really can’t wait to see what happens with that situation or if he will pull off his plan for the baby.

Starr also felt extremely lonely at her Lamaze class without Cole especially when the couple brought it up. That felt like a jab in the heart to Starr. I really loved the speech that Blair said to Starr that no one in the Lamaze class was looking at her funny because they were too busy concentrating on their own lives. Starr responded that Blair had to be kidding and that all of these parents are going to use her as an example for their kids. She also said that she is 16 and pregnant with the baby’s father nowhere to be found. I am sure that there is a lot of truth in what Starr said. So many people judge from the outside…you know – don’t judge a book by its cover. How do you feel now that you know Starr’s story? Do you judge her the same way?

Teen pregnancy has boomed back into the media again with the recent Republican VP pick (and her daughter). It just goes to show that this is a never ending issue that will continue to come up. A lot of people are judging Sarah Palin and the situation right off the bat. We don’t know much about them yet or their story.

The best thing we can always do is ask questions when we have them and get all the info before judging. Maybe Starr should figure out a way to do that with Todd or they will never have the chance to rebuild their relationship. Also, with everyone going back to school, it’s such a good thing to think about – don’t pre-judge and or your might miss out on the opportunity for some great new friends.

Til next week…and I’ll tell you what it’s like to be a senior.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Back-to-school is a great time to think about your goals and prepare for the future. What classes do you need to take in order to get to college? What do you have to do in order to have the job or career you aspire to? What do you want to be when you grow up and what steps will you take to get there? One thing that often stands in the way of making dreams come true is an unplanned pregnancy. After all, once there’s a pregnancy there are a lot of things to do and consider that you never had to think about before. For the majority of teen moms it’s hard to complete high school and even harder to go to college. It’s harder to focus on yourself and your relationships too.

So when you’re making plans for all the things you want to do this year, remember to also make a plan to avoid pregnancy until you’re ready for parenthood. That means thinking about what you’ll do in the heat of the moment. Will you say no? How will you say it? Or if you say yes, what kind of protection will you use and how will you know where to get it and use it properly? Who will you talk to if you have questions and how will you feel about all this when the time comes? Pencils and notebooks aren’t the only things you need to succeed – you also need to know how you feel about sex and pregnancy. For more information about love, relationships, sex, waiting, and contraception, go to www.stayteen.org.

Friendship and a little break...

Hey everyone.

So you didn’t see Starr this week on the air because it was taped when I was on vacation. So I’m gonna give you a little sneak peak at next week.

Even though Starr and Cole are at the center of this story and it’s their baby, the situation affects so many others – most clearly their best friends. So next week, Cole and Langston talk about whether or not they can maintain their friendship.  This pregnancy affects more than just the couple – their family and friends are a huge part of it too. Cole and Langston formed a bond when they both lost their parents.  Now they want to see if their can still be friends.  Right now, Cole is not being that civil to Starr and Langston is not too happy about it.  Langston will stand by Starr no matter what but she doesn’t want to lose the friendship she has with Cole.  If things are strained between Langston and Cole, that could mean trouble for BFs Markko and Cole or even Markko and Langston.  That’s why it’s great that they’re talking about their friendship.  Talking means they care.

Speaking of sides, I’ve been reading posts and comments online (for this blog and on other sites) and I’m glad to see that everyone isn’t on the same side.  You want questions answered -- you want to know why Starr and Cole did this or did that.    If Starr and Cole existed in real life and lived near you, you would have an opinion, neighbors would have opinions and people at school would have opinions.  It’s a great example of a slice of real life. It’s easy for people to have opinions about other people’s life decisions. It’s like the gossip magazines.  We read a little info and all of a sudden we feel like we can judge someone’s life.  It’s human nature.   People are gonna talk.  All I can suggest is to make the best possible decision for you own life and if you’re in a situation where you can ask questions before you make a decision -- DO IT!

Fans reading this blog might feel the same way they did about this story as they did when it started or maybe something that I shared made them ask questions or change their opinion.  All of it is good.   That is why I keep encouraging people to talk, ask questions and have conversations.

By the way did you see Tanner Woods – my real-life prom date and Bob Wood’s (Bo) son - playing “Young Bo” this past Tuesday?  Wasn’t he good? Another little sneak peak: next week, you will get to see Starr in Lamaze class – just in time for Labor Day.

Have an awesome Labor Day.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• As summer comes to an end and everyone heads back to school, think about how different Starr's return to school will be now that she's having a baby.  On top of all the usual teenage stresses that come with juggling high school and relationships and friendships, Starr is adding a pregnancy to the mix.  Of course her friends, and even those who barely know her, will have opinions about the choices she is making. The fact that she's even going through with school is a big challenge. Only 40% of teen mothers finish high school, and only 3% ever finish college.  Most adults and teens say being a teen parent would at least delay or prevent young people from reaching their future goals. How do you think Starr's teenage pregnancy will affect her future goals?  How will this experience affect Cole's future?  Do Starr, Cole, Langston and Markko remind you of any tangled relationships in your own life? Has your own breakup changed the way you relate to your friends? Tell us, and find out what other teens are saying. For a special back-to-school viewpoint from one of the Campaign's Youth Leaders, Taylor, 17, from Cincinnati, OH check out: http://stayteen.org/out_loud/default.aspx. Read it and send us your own point of view.

Best Friends Chat

Hey guys.

Can you believe that this is blog #25? That means that Starr and Cole’s baby was conceived 25 weeks ago. Wow time flies!

I’m here with Starr’s 2 BFs, and mine too…Brittany Underwood, you know her as Langston and Brandon Buddy, the one and only Cole Thornhart. You’ve heard a lot about this story line from my point of view, now I’m going to put the spotlight on my friends/co-stars.

Brandon: I have received so many mixed reactions about how people feel about Cole’s choices. Some fans want Cole to fight to keep the baby and some want him to go along with Starr and her choice for adoption. I was surprised to hear how many fans were mad at Cole for breaking up with Starr. I hear a lot of “how could you do that to her?” The OLTL fan club event was this past weekend and almost everyone there was unanimous in the fact that they want Starr and Cole back together. The scenes have been really emotionally challenging lately especially the break up scenes. Cole is losing the one person he thinks he has left in his life. This was a huge and really difficult decision for him to make.

Me: Walking away is the hardest thing.

Brandon: Both characters have valid points. There is no easy answer. We love that all of our fans have different opinions. More than anything, Cole is really determined to not put the baby in the middle of a war between Starr and Cole. He decided to give up his rights for the baby out of love for Starr and the baby. It was an incredibly hard decision.

Me: Brittany, have you had any conversations with friends or family about our story?

Brittany: My good friend’s mom had her as a teenager. Ultimately, their story was a happy one but it doesn’t always end that way. She has had some great conversations with her mom who said “yes, I had you at 16 but why choose the hard way? It wasn’t the end of the world for us but it wasn’t easy either. Use protection. Be smart. Don’t give up your childhood at 16.” I think it’s good that Starr is choosing adoption because childhood is so important.

Brandon: Another thing that I keep hearing about is the money thing. Both Starr and Cole have people around them with money. People ask “why can’t they keep the baby?” I think it’s a good point to bring up, but money alone doesn’t raise a child.

Brittany: Especially if you’re not ready to be a parent.

Me: I feel like as the story progresses, I play that the decision is harder for Starr. For Starr, she has made the decision but she is living her life with this growing baby inside of her…it’s sleeping with her, with her as she walks around, she feels it kick, it’s every move. Starr is becoming really attached in spite of her decision for adoption. This week, Marcie asked Starr if she wanted to be a part of the baby’s life and Starr was not prepared for that question. Even though she and Langston made a video for her child when he or she turns 16 that would explain that Starr is his/her mom, she is not really sure that she really wants them to know. As the actress playing Starr, I have conflicted emotions re: what I want for Starr just like Starr is having. From fan feedback, the audience is too.

Brandon: All of our fans have different opinions.

Me: That’s the beauty of this story. It makes you feel something and it’s OK if it changes.

Brittany: There is not one side or answer.

Me: It’s a really conflicting situation. It makes you think.

Me: I want to thank Brittany and Brandon for being our guests on Blog # 25. It’s always interesting to hear other people’s stories. That is the point of this blog. Also this week, Ashley Wilkens aired (on Wed 8/20. I told you about her when she taped and she also guest-blogged.) and I think she did an amazing job. Starr also had a scene where she was having a sonogram. It was so strange to lie on that bed and put my feet in the stirrups. My mom called after she watched those scenes and said she got choked up. She knows it’s not real but it seemed so real. I find that as the story progresses and Starr’s baby bump keeps getting bigger, the more I (Kristen) am attached to Starr’s baby. I didn’t expect that.

Wow, that was a long one.

Until next week.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

The fact that Kristen and her friends are taking this story so personally, and talking about it with each other, is exactly what we'd hoped would happen, and we hope you're talking about it with your friends and parents too.

Brandon (Cole) is right when he says it takes more than money to raise a baby.  And many teen parents don't have the money that Cole and Starr do to begin with. In fact, It costs at least $10,600 to raise a baby for one year. That’s the equivalent of 1,178 movie tickets, 163 pairs of sneakers, or 42 IPods.  And that's just the first year.  Most dads of babies born to teens don't marry their babies' mothers and don't have the financial resources to contribute a meaningful amount of money to help with the baby's costs.   This is one reason that babies born to teens are far more likely to end up in poverty.

Teen parenthood is hard on teens and harder on their babies, but it doesn't mean that there aren't success stories -- like Brittany's (Langtson) friend and her mom.  But her friend's mother still says what so many other teen moms -- successful and otherwise -- say:  that they love their children but they wish they had waited to have children until their lives were more settled, and they were more grown up themselves.  Babies need and deserve adult parents who are equipped and ready to take care of them for a lifetime.  After all, babies may give unconditional love -- but more than that, they require it.  Your teen years are a time to learn, grow, and figure out who you are before you have adult responsibilities.

Have you been talking about this story with your friends? Your parents? Tell us about it in the comments section of this blog, learn more about preventing teen pregnancy and tell us how you "Stay Teen" at stayteen.org.

Father and daughter

Hey everyone. This week, I want to talk about Starr and Todd…

Starr’s always had a really special relationship with her father. On today’s show, Todd pays Starr a visit wanting to help her get through her break up with Cole. Starr sees this as a slap in the face.  Todd’s always hated Cole. She sees this as an “I told you so” from Todd.  All of sudden he wants to be buddy-buddy.  Starr’s not having it.  She’s become too smart for his games. He thinks everything is just perfect when it goes his way. He thinks that he’s the only one that could ever be right. Starr wants him to know that it’s not true!

Todd was always the person closest to Starr. She could always count on him.  It’s different that her relationship with Blair.  Starr and Todd teamed up, got in trouble, pulled pranks on people.  But ever since Cole entered the picture, that’s changed. She’s not willing to give up one person for another – Cole for Todd.

Right now it’s so easy for her to be angry with Todd because he’s been really malicious. Of course, Starr would take Cole’s side against Todd. Todd tries to tell her that it’s a huge mistake to give the baby up for adoption.  He says that she’ll regret it for the rest of her life.  Which, BTW, is not very nice of him.

She always felt like Todd was her #1 go-to person and she was always the one that Todd would go if he had a problem. For Todd to not return that for her at this point is so selfish and one-sided of him.  He only cares about what he thinks is best, not what Starr thinks is best. Starr really wants Todd to hear her like Blair does.  Of course Blair would prefer it if her 16 year old daughter wasn’t pregnant and that she wasn’t choosing adoption. But she is respecting Starr’s decisions and standing by her. Starr wants Todd to be the guy he used to be. Blair is being that figure for Starr.  Starr cares a lot about her dad but he’s making it so hard.  We all hope that Starr and Todd can get through these really rough times and find the closeness they once shared.

I look forward to seeing anyone who will be at the “One Life to Live” fan club event this weekend and I will also be hosting my very first Kristen Alderson fan club event tonight! I’m really excited. To those who can’t come, I look forward to meeting you at other events.

Talk to you next week.

XO,

Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• Dads make a difference.  Especially when it comes to raising, influencing and protecting their daughters.  Many dads of teens think that once their kids hit high school, they listen most to everyone else – friends, media, popular culture – and parents somehow become irrelevant.  Far from it.  Studies show that fathers have a unique and special role to play in the lives of their daughters.  Attention, respect, and support from fathers helps teen girls in so many ways.  Dads can help teen girls realize that their brains and achievements are more valuable than their looks.  More than half of teen girls (57%) say that attracting boys and looking sexy is one of the most important things they can do – dads can do a lot to put that into perspective.  Dads, your teen daughters need you now just as much as they did when you taught them how to ride bikes.  They may not always act like it but teaching them how to protect their feelings, and letting them know you value them, can make a world of difference.  Learn more about the power of parents at http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/default.aspx

Hopes and dreams

I hope everyone is having a great summer…better than Starr and Cole!

Starr and Cole, like most people, have hopes and dreams for their futures.  What were your dreams when you were a teenager?  What would you do if something got in the way of making those dreams happen?

As soon as Starr found out she was pregnant, her thoughts and plans were immediately about the baby’s future.  Starr’s dream at this point isn’t to be a mother.  She is a teenager. Right now, her dreams are for college and to start a career.  Marcie’s dreams are to become a mother.  Starr can help make that happen.  She can give her that chance – the chance for someone to be a mother who wants it completely heart and soul.

Even though Cole thinks that it will be best if the baby is raised by him, Starr believes that Cole won’t be able to live out all of the dreams he had for the future. Starr doesn’t want them to get to a place where they regret everything. Starr has done a lot of research.  She doesn’t want to bring the baby up with false hopes of a life that she doesn’t feel ready to give it.  She wants to make the choice for the best and easiest life for her child. Cole is thinking about right now.  It’s definitely not a money thing – he does live in a mansion. Would he feel right leaving the baby with Nora, to go off to college? Starr doesn’t want that life for her baby.  She is thinking more clearly about their future.

Cole did start to see that in their break-up scenes.  Starr and Cole both have valid points.  She is not completely cutting Cole out of the decisions.  It’s back and forth.  That’s the great thing about this story - you don’t really know who to root for.

No one’s story is the same.  With most things in life, one person thinks one way and another person thinks completely different. Starr and Cole are still children themselves.  They aren’t supporting themselves.  They both think they know what is best.  Starr wishes that they could realize they have that in common and figure out a solution together.

Even though Cole thinks his dreams have changed, Starr really believes that he wants this baby because he lost his entire family –not because he wants or is ready to be a father.  He is trying to fill the void in his life. Starr doesn’t have all of the answers either because if she did, she would be together with Cole right now. 

It’s going to be a complicated, exciting journey for everyone involved.

Until next week. Keep Dreaming :-)

Xo,

Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• The drama with Starr and Cole isn’t out of the ordinary for teen couples.  Stability and commitment come with maturity and experience.  Figuring out how to be in a healthy relationship takes time and work.  Parenting requires even more time and work.  That’s why it’s important to be in a strong relationship where both people are committed to each other and committed to raising a baby before you get pregnant.
• You can’t just let it happen.  Sex is serious and has adult consequences. If you've never thought about these things, start now.  It's too important not to.  In a way, not thinking about sex and its physical and emotional consequences is a decision of sorts.  If you're having sex and not using protection, you probably will get pregnant.  You can’t assume that things will or won’t happen without you playing an active role in making it so.  After all, 730,000 American teen girls got pregnant last year and like Starr most of them never thought it would happen to them either.

• Make a plan.  Either don’t have sex or use protection carefully and consistently each and every time.  Nearly one-third of American girls get pregnant at least once before age 20.  And once there is a pregnancy, all roads ahead are difficult and so much in your life is forced to change.  Cole might be thinking the way many young people think: that if they have a baby, they'll get unconditional love.  Well, babies do give a lot of love but the truth is that really, they require unconditional love.  Are you ready to put your own dreams aside to take care of someone else 24/7? It’s a lot easier to make your dreams come true if you wait until you’re an adult to have a baby. Find out more, and tell us what you think at stayteen.org.

Loss

Hey Guys!

This week was a really sad week for Starr and Cole because they broke up and that got me thinking that Starr’s main question probably is “could she have done anything to change their situation?” So I’ll ask you: Have you lost something that meant a lot to you and could you have done something to change it?

Earlier this year, I was supposed to perform in the “ABC Daytime Salutes Broadway Cares Equity Fights AIDS” event, but I got really sick and was unable to go.  I had rehearsed and was really looking forward to performing with Kathy Brier but there was nothing I could do.  Luckily, another opportunity came up a few months later and we got to perform together.  Things happen in life that you just can’t control and you have to try to make the best out of it.

Starr got pregnant.  She can’t change that at this point.  It’s a fact.  She could have made different choices before she got pregnant.  Now she has a child to think about and she has to find a way to make the best possible choices.

You go through break ups in life and you want to put all of the blame on yourself and not the other person. You want to beat yourself up for the relationship not working, but sometimes you have to look at a situation and realize that there are reasons things happen and find the silver lining on a dark cloud.

One of my best friends, Cole, moved away to LA.  I was so upset when I found out. But now we see each other every time I go to LA or he comes to NY. We make the best of it.  Even though it felt like the worst thing in the world, we figured it out.  We have a great friendship and make the most of it, especially when we are together.

Once something happens, you have to figure out how to make it right for you.  The press often asks me about Jamie Lynn Spears. Like Starr, she could have made different choices before she got pregnant.  Now the best thing she could do now that there is a baby girl, is give her the very best possible life and love her.

Looking back to March, Starr and Cole should have made a different choice.  But they didn’t. Bad things happen in and out of your control.  You have to figure out a way to make the best of every situation.  Make smart choices before you act and try to make the best out of difficult situations out of your control. Not everyone is dealing with teen pregnancy but you can still learn from Starr and Cole’s mistakes like I have.

Until next week.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• Starr and Cole have grown up fast these past few months, and their relationship didn't make it as far as they'd always believed it would.  So many young women -- teens and young adults alike -- think that if they're in a relationship, sex will bring them closer and having a baby together will forge an even stronger bond. The reality is that pregnancy stresses even the strongest relationships, and (like Starr and Cole) many get stressed to the breaking point. So many young couples have never talked about contraception until it's time to take a pregnancy test.  If you're having sex, talk with your partner about the best kind of birth control for both of you.  Go to a health care provider together.  Commit to each other that you're going to do whatever it takes to prevent pregnancy -- even if it means not having sex until you figure it out. FACT: births resulting from unplanned pregnancies lead to higher levels of chaos and turmoil between the parents and within the family. Such relationship turmoil creates troubling environments for children, especially young children.  Find out more about how to prevent teen pregnancy, and what other teens say about their relationships,  at www.stayteen.org.

Questions Answered

Hi everyone.  I hope you had a great week.  I’ve been reading over everyone’s comments on the blog.  I want to thank you so much for taking my blog seriously and using it in your own life.  It means so much to me and we really hope that it is helping to make a difference.

  Tara wrote:

“…I don't think that what she is doing is giving the audience the right impression. I know it is just a show… I really hope that they have her lose her attitude in the show, because after all, she did this, along with Cole, and that is what kids in the real world are watching.”

Starr has always had that devious side to her but when she started to grow up, she kinda lost it.  She realized that she didn’t need to fight so much anymore.  She was always fighting for her parents to be together.  Then she went to high school and started living her own life (she did have to deal with some high school problems – Britney Jennings), but nothing that she was so passionate about until now with her baby.   Starr wants what is best for this child and that is the most important thing and she is willing to fight as much as she has to for it.  They have shown her being moody because that is realistic.  They are showing all of the stages that she is going through – there are the mood swings because everything is changing so quickly in her life and her body.

As far as giving the “right impression,” we a telling one story of teen pregnancy – Starr’s story.  Every teen feels the situation differently and reacts differently.  Starr has her own unique background, so you are seeing her reaction.  Starr is not being selfish in this situation or being a brat.  Starr knows what she did.  She knows that she and Cole are responsible for being in this situation.  Now, she wants to make it right.  Now, there is a baby.  That’s what she is fighting for – the BEST possible life for her child.

Thanks Tara for watching and posting.  Ethan wrote:

“I am kinda glad kinda upset about Cole telling Todd that you’re pregnant! One the other hand I don't think you should give up the baby! I do like Marcie but why give up the baby!!!”

Starr doesn’t see it as giving up her baby but rather as choosing a better life for her son or daughter.  Cole is making decisions on his own and really trying to figure things out for himself.  He knows that he loves Starr and he wants them to be a family. He is doing whatever he has to do to get that but in the meantime, they are starting to lose who they are as a couple

Beth added:

“I really liked Cole and thought he and Starr would stay 2gether 4ever now I am not so sure.”

Every couple usually thinks that they’ll be together forever.  Statistics show that once a teen couple gets pregnant, they usually break up in the end.  Even with a couple like Starr and Cole who were stable and had been through so much. They might not be able to get through this no matter how much they love each other and want to be together.

There are no easy answers.  That’s why I like to do these blogs where I respond to your comments.   I’m telling everyone to talk.  That’s why I want to respond to your comments, talk to you and keep the conversation going together.

Until next week.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• 8 out of 10 fathers of babies born to teens don't marry the baby's mother -- and that even for those teens who do get married, the relationships usually break up within 2 years.
• Most of the 750,000 teens who got pregnant last year didn't think it would happen to them. Each one of those girls has a different story, full of emotions and major life changes -- they have much in common with Starr, but each of their stories is unique too. And they didn't do it alone. Sex is really serious, and if you're not ready for the adult consequences (physical and emotional), then you're not ready for sex. Did you know that 2/3 of teens who have had sex before age 18 say they wish they'd waited longer? Keep watching Starr and supporting her -- and know that you don't have to go through what she's experiencing. Teen pregnancy is 100% preventable. Find out more at stayteen.org.

On the road

Hey guys. This Sunday, I got back from Disney World in Florida.  It was tons of fun. I went with my cousins and I went on almost every ride. It occurred to me right before I went on one of the roller coasters that Starr recently had an air scene where she couldn't go to an amusement park. She's pregnant and of course, she can't go on roller coasters. Being in Disney and being on roller coasters - it feels like that is where you should be at 16.  But Starr can't.

Before the Emmys, I told you that it was going to be a really crazy time for me. Well, I am sitting in beautiful sunny California having just finished an amazing day of interviews at something called a press tour.While doing a press tour, you answer a lot of the same questions for many different press outlets. And  while I was on our OLTL 40th anniversary panel with Bob Woods (Bo), JP Lavoisier (Rex), Bree Williamson (Jess and Tess), Kamar de los Reyes (Antonio), Andrea Evans (Tina Lord), Brian Frons (President, ABC Daytime) and Frank Valentini (Executive Producer, OLTL), I was asked the question about what kind of feedback I get from fans about this storyline. As I started to share a story that an 18 year girl had shared with me, I almost started to cry because at that very moment it hit me how much this means to my fans and the audience and how much this is changing young girls' lives. To be a part of this is such a blessing and I've always known that but at that very moment it really hit me.

OLTL celebrated it's 40th Anniversary this week and Agnes Nixon, OLTL's creator, began this show with the intention of telling real life stories of real people and dared to tell controversial stories of the time period.  It's an honor to still be living out Agnes' dream for the show.

In past blogs, I have spoken about someone named Ashley Wilkens who got pregnant at 16 and had her baby at 17. This week, OLTL invited Ashley Wilkens to tape a some scenes with me.  Ashley played an assistant to an OB/GYN doctor. It was really awesome to meet her because the only time that I talked to her prior, was over the phone.  She is so beautiful and sweet and she did such a great job on the show even though she had never acted before.  After Ashley guest starred on the show, I asked her to guest star on the blog and here is what she had to say:

"I was back in an OB/GYN office for the first time today since I was pregnant, and it brought back a lot of memories.  It wasn't real though, I played the receptionist at the doctor's office on "One Life to Live."

It was really cool sharing my story with Kristen, and seeing her playing the part of a young teenage girl making the same decision to make an adoption plan for her baby like I did at her age.  It was very touching.

One of my lines was 'I hope you know what an amazing thing you're doing.' I felt as if I were talking to a real person and not an actress because it IS an amazing thing to do - completing the puzzle of a husband and wife who have had all of their dreams come true except the biggest one.  I made a family for them.

Adoption is the most selfless thing I believe any woman can do.  Not only to bless a family with something they cannot provide themselves, but because it takes a very bold and mature person to admit that they are simply not ready for motherhood.  Starr is one of those women. She's only 16, like I was when I was when I got pregnant two years ago, and she sees that a baby is something she is not ready for.  She wants to bless Marcie with something that she cannot have herself."

I want to thank Ashley for talking about the show and being a part of it.  She has been a very important part of my learning experience while doing this storyline.  I am sitting here thinking about this really amazing week that I've had: working with Ashley, doing interviews, talking and bonding with my castmates from the panel over lunch at the hotel and I feel blessed to have so many people around me who are willing to share their life experiences with me.  Some people ask me how I know so much about life.  It's not really me. It's from learning from the people around me.  I take their life lessons and put it into perspective in my own life.  I encourage families, friends, co-workers , classmates to really talk to one another.  You don't have to learn everything from making your own mistakes. You can learn from others.  I feel blessed to have learned so much.

Until next week when I'm back on the east coast.

xo,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Fewer than 5% of teens who give birth make an adoption plan – maybe because they don’t know enough about it.  If you’re curious about what birth mothers have to say, how the process works, how families are chosen, what kind of help is available, and what it all entails, please go to ichooseadoption.org.

But remember, when you’re a teenager and you’re pregnant, every road ahead is difficult -- which is why it’s important to have a plan and think about what you’ll do before you’re faced with the situation in real life.

For more about how to prevent teen pregnancy please go to thenationalcampaign.org.

Todd Find Out!

Well, the drama everyone has been waiting for has finally happened...Todd found out that Starr is pregnant!  And how did he find out? From the one person that Starr thought would never tell him -- COLE!

Were you freaking out as much as I was when I found out that Cole would be the one to tell Todd that Starr is pregnant?  Well Starr was definitely shocked and so was Blair when Todd paid a visit at Dorian’s pool. Starr hasn’t seen Todd for awhile and definitely not since she has started to show.  When she sees Todd, she hides her stomach but Todd reveal he knows the truth and tells her to stop lying to him.  Blair tries to step in but Starr gathers a lot of courage and tells Blair she can handle Todd.  She says that she might as well tell Todd why she lied to him.  Starr is growing up really fast now. She has to.

When Starr found out that she was pregnant, I am sure that she imagined that she would be facing a lot of changes in her life but one thing she did not expect is that she would be fighting with Cole.   She couldn’t have imagined that he would betray her like that because it’s usually them against everyone else. Now not only is she facing all of the changes that her body is going through but she feels like she can’t trust Cole.

I know that Starr and Cole definitely want to be together forever.  They really do want to last.  Statistics say teen couples than get pregnant don’t usually end up together.  Starr and Cole are really struggling with everything right now and there will be many more struggles ahead...struggles that would test anyone’s relationships.  Pregnancy is a really big deal even in the best possible situations.

XO,

Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Even the strongest teen relationships have their ups and downs. But Starr and Cole are dealing with a complicated situation that is creating more tension in their relationship -- and many real teen couples in this situation aren't even planning to end up together the way Starr and Cole are.  In fact, 80% of the fathers of babies born to teens don't marry their babies' mothers -- and of those who do get married, the marriages usually dissolve within 2 years.

Starr has grown up quickly these past few months, both because of her pregnancy and because of its ripple effect on her relationship, her friendships and her family. She is mature enough to realize how serious it all is, and that she has to start looking out for her and her baby's best interests.  But she is also young enough to realize all that she is missing out on -- including the chance to have her biggest worry be about which outfit to wear on a night out.  Two out of three teens who have sex before age 18 say they wish they'd waited longer.  Sex is serious, and has serious consequences.  What is the best thing about being a teen right now? What would you miss most about your daily life if you had to start dealing with pregnancy and parenthood?  Listen to what other teens are saying and tell us how you "stay teen" at stayteen.org.