One Life to Live: Start Talking with Kristen

Nearing the finish line

Hey guys!

Next week is the last blog L. Can you believe it? There will be a bonus for you next week! But before we get there, Starr needs to get to the hospital because at the end of today’s show (Friday), her water broke! But before we get there…in the beginning of the week, Starr opened up to Langston about her fears for when the baby comes and she gives it to Marcie. Even though she knows adoption is best for her and the baby, she’s gotten more and more attached to this baby and it’s going to be more difficult than she imagined to hand it over. Thank goodness she doesn’t know what Todd is plotting!

Taping the scenes that will air next week really made me realize how brave mothers are who choose adoption. It’s such a beautiful thing and at the same time it’s extremely difficult to hand over a child that you’ve bonded with throughout a pregnancy. I, obviously, have never been pregnant but taping the delivery scenes made me even more attached to the baby. I can’t really imagine what it feels like to really go through that.

There is nothing like the mother – child bond. Cole wrote a beautiful letter to his mom this week. He talks about his feelings towards her and the baby. Just reading it without hearing the voiceover that you heard on air was so touching. When I did tape the scenes, Brandon was so sweet, he stood off camera and read it. Hearing his voice and knowing him so well – it was that much more powerful. It brought tears to my eyes.

Starr’s pregnancy over the course of the last 9 months has really helped her relationships to grow. The audience has been able to watch her relationships with the people close to her deepen. You’ll even see Starr turn to people that she doesn’t always reach out to like Dorian because of the things coming up that she’ll have to deal with. That’s one of my favorite parts of the story- the emotional connection Starr shares with the people closest to her. It’s shown what a great mom Blair is to Starr, what a trustworthy friend Langston is and how sensitive and caring Cole is. All of these relationships have helped Starr so much throughout this pregnancy.

So next week is the BIG week and the last blog. I am sorry to see it go, but I am going to do my best to create the most entertaining blog yet. I will tell you that the story is going to go somewhere that even I didn’t expect.

Until next week.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Starr has been through so much over the past nine months and we’ve all been fortunate to watch it happen. We’ve seen her through the good times and the hard times, through the turmoil in her relationships with Cole and her father, through the fear and uncertainty of what to do about the pregnancy. We’ve watched as she’s transformed from a scared young girl unsure of what to do next into the confident young woman who stood up before her classmates and warned them not the make the same mistakes she’s made.

But the important thing to keep in mind is that Starr’s experience is just one story. Every year in the United States there are 750,000 other stories of young girls who get pregnant too soon, who have to make hard decisions about school and money and living arrangements and health care and relationships and parenthood. It’s happening in every state, every city and town and neighborhood and high school. It can happen to any sexually active teenager. That’s why it’s important to have a plan and know before you’re caught up in the moment what will do and what you will say and how you will protect yourself. Once there’s a pregnancy every road ahead is hard – but you can avoid all of those roads if you want to. Either don’t have sex (which is the only 100% foolproof method) or use contraception carefully and consistently every single time. Talking about these issues is helpful and important.

For more information about how to talk to your kids about sex and how to help them avoid teen pregnancy, please go to http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/default.aspx

Crazy times

Hey guys!

Starr’s gone through some crazy stuff during the past few weeks. Between Langston leaving and then not leaving and then Ray being shot at the airport – it’s been insane!! BTW, aren’t we so happy that Langston is staying in Llanview? She’ll be there when Starr has the baby and Starr couldn’t be more grateful. Now Starr can really settle down and start preparing for the birth.

Starr’s main go to person has always been Todd especially when she was younger. So now it’s interesting for Starr to see Todd for who he really is and at the same time see how wonderful Blair is. I love how OLTL has shown what a great mom Blair is. She’s really been there for Starr to comfort and guide her like she’s been doing throughout the entire pregnancy. She’s been her main support. I’m also happy that Starr and Cole seem to be getting closer these days and are able to talk more freely with each other.

I love that Starr really needs her mom and needs comfort from her to make it through this experience. Starr’s always been a very independent and introverted person. It’s nice to see that she needs to lean on someone in this situation and that that person is her mother. I know that if it were me, I would not be anywhere without my mom. She’s always been my main support through everything and I am there for her. With Starr leaning so much on Blair, it reminds the audience that Starr is going through a very grown up experience. It shows she is still a child who needs her mom and craves that support and love from her.

Like I’ve said so many times before - even though pregnancy is a beautiful thing and a blessing, it’s also a really scary thing for a girl my age to go through. Starr is really vulnerable right now. She’s been through a lot in her life but this is by far the most difficult and emotional.

Have great week.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Starr’s right. She IS tremendously lucky to have the unwavering support of her mom throughout this time. Blair has been strong for her daughter in the face of some pretty difficult situations during this pregnancy – the breakup of her own marriage and the custody fight over Sam, just to name two. Even though she doesn’t necessarily agree with Starr’s decision to make an adoption plan with Marcie McBain, she is standing by her daughter every step of the way, including doctor appointments, legal battles, Lamaze classes, and more. Not every pregnant teenager has the benefit of such a committed parent.

Committed parents are important not just during a pregnancy, or after a pregnancy when there is a baby to care for, but BEFORE there is a pregnancy at all. Teens need their parents – not just to drive them places or hand out allowance money – but for a million reasons large and small. Parents are the #1 influence on their teens when it comes to decisions about sex. Parents matter more than media, school, friends, siblings or religion. Teens learn more about values and what’s appropriate at home that they do anywhere else. That’s why it’s important for parents to realize how influential they are, and to communicate with their kids about sex, love, and relationships throughout their lives. It’s not just one single “Talk” about the birds and the bees – it’s an entire lifetime of conversations about all of these topics and more.

For tips and ideas for talking to your kids about these issues, please go to http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/ten_tips.aspx

No baby yet

Hey everyone!  Looks like I literally gave you a false alarm with last week’s sneak peek. :-)

No baby yet but Dr. Joplin told Starr that it would be any day now. Is it just me or is everyone creeped out that Dr. Joplin is telling Starr that everything is going to be OK one minute and then plotting with Todd the next? When we were taping those scenes, the actress who plays Dr. Joplin (Maureen Mueller) felt so bad.  She was being nice to me and then meeting with Todd and telling him she would carry out his plan…

It’s also hard to play something where someone is going to hurt your character and playing that you don’t know that it’s going to happen. Speaking of things that are hard to play…it was pretty difficult for me to play that I was having contractions because (don’t be shocked) I’ve never had one :-) But what helped me with these scenes is that about a month before I had to tape them, I went to Florida because my cousin Erica was about to give birth.  She talked to me about what she was feeling and let me feel the baby moving.

It was really awesome to be there for my cousin and it also really helped me out a lot.
However, when I went to do the scenes they wanted Starr to be really freaking out. But what I learned is that when you have your first contraction it’s not so painful.  It’s more like a slight tensing.  So I chose to play it that Starr was not in a lot of pain but was frea king out and starting to hyperventilate because the big moment was finally here.  I know that some of you who have been through child birth maybe thought that I was overreacting.  I was play that this is finally the moment -- Starr is in labor and the baby was coming. That fact alone really freaked Starr out.

We tried to make the scenes scary for Starr but at the same time have a little fun too.
After every scene we had a good laugh at how frantic they were.  I felt like I was going to pass out after every take.  Doing those scenes got me anxious for when I had to tape the actual delivery. But I think they turned out good and I am excited for you to see them.

Until next week as we get closer to the big day…

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Now that we’re coming up on the end of Starr’s pregnancy let’s take a minute to look back at some of what she’s been through:  A single night of sex with her boyfriend found them both so caught up in the heat of the moment that no one said anything about protection and no one thought about the consequences.  Then came a period of loneliness and uncertainty before Langston knew and before Cole knew, when Starr was all alone with her secret.  After that, she and Cole spent time on the run, away from her family, trying to make it on their own.  Two teenagers alone on their own didn’t exactly work out, needless to say.  Then her mom found out about the pregnancy and doctor appointments began.  After some serious soul-searching, Starr decided to make an adoption plan for the baby.  This led to her break-up with Cole, which would have been hard under any circumstance but was made all the more excruciating because of the pregnancy.  Then other people found out – from her crazy father to the kids at school – and their reactions weren’t exactly pleasant, to say the least.  All this on top of the physical changes and discomfort that are a normal part of pregnancy and it’s a lot for a sixteen year old to handle.  Even one as poised and fortunate as Starr Manning.

Imagine if Starr & Cole had not had sex that night.  Or if they had used protection.  Imagine how different their lives would be.  What if they’d had a plan to prevent pregnancy and stuck to it?  What if the 750,000 other teens who’ve gotten pregnant in the past year had either stopped and not had sex at all, or made sure they were using protection carefully? (Even the best protection isn't 100% foolproof…)   That’s the thing about teen pregnancy – you can prevent it.  It doesn’t have to happen.  Either don’t have sex or use protection -- carefully and correctly --  every single time. 

For more information about love, relationships, sex, contraception, and waiting, go to http://www.stayteen.org/whats-your-relationship-reality/default.aspx

The big screen

Hey guys!

So on Sunday morning around 11:00am, my mom, my brother Eddie, our agent Barry and I had tickets to the New York Film Festival to see “The Changeling.” My brother Eddie is in it!!!! Eddie and mom went to the premiere the night before so they were really excited for me to see it.  The movie was really really good!!!!!!!!!! It takes you through the whole story -- which is a true story that happened in LA in the 1920s.  Angelina Jolie’s character loses her son and you see how corrupt the police were. My brother’s character comes in at a later point in the movie and delivers a real shocker.  He did an amazing job and I’m not just saying that because he’s my brother.  His role is really sad. I felt for the character so much and the way Eddie played it was amazing.  It was such a powerful movie about a mother’s love for her child.

I can’t give away anything more but it’s a real shocker and a tearjerker.  I am extremely proud of Eddie.  Not that I didn’t think he would do an amazing job, but he was 10 times better than I could have ever imagined. (It’s coming out in limited release on 10/24 and nationwide on Halloween.) 

Angelina’s character loses her child and one day soon, Starr will experience something similar when she gives her baby to Marcie. It’s not the same story but they are both about a mother’s love for a child.  The emotion in the movie is about not having the child around. Starr will experience a different kind of loss.  Even though adoption is truly what Starr wants. It will still be hard to say goodbye to her baby and let go.  Even really good decisions are hard to make sometimes.

I want to thank all of you for you positive feedback about Starr’s speech in front of the school assembly.  I thought it was a really great story point.  It gave some insight into what Starr is feeling at this point. What she said was very powerful and it shows how much she’s grown up through this chapter in her life.

Even though she has chosen adoption, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love the baby she is caring. In fact, it means the opposite. She loves the baby very much. This baby has been a part of Starr for nine months and it will be so difficult to let it go, but Starr knows that this is the right thing for her to do.

I give you a sneak peek for next week – Starr and Blair go to another Lamaze class and Starr starts to have pains.  Could this be it?

Talk to you next week.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Starr’s decision to make an adoption plan for her child is generous and courageous.  Not only does it give her child an opportunity for what will most likely be a better life, but it also gives Starr the chance live a more stable life, finish school and focus on her own dreams for the future.  Starr (and all birth mothers who make this choice) should be commended for their bravery and unselfishness.  But that doesn’t mean it’s an easy decision.  There are so many questions that birth mothers have – about laws and services and the way process works – combine that with the excitement and confusion of being a pregnant teen and it’s even harder.  A great resource is ichooseadoption.org

But the most important thing to remember is that teen pregnancy is preventable.  Either don’t have sex or use protection carefully and consistently every single time.  Once there is a pregnancy every road ahead is a hard one.  Preventing pregnancy is easy in comparison.  So have a plan and protect yourself and your future. 

For more information about sex, love, relationships, contraception and waiting go to stayteen.org.

In Need of a Friend

This week, Starr had her mind on other things besides herself and her baby. Her focus was on her BFF Langston. She’s wondering if she’ll ever see Langston again. She’s really scared for her. She’s also really scared at the thought of going through the next month without Langston. How could Langston not be there for the birth of her baby? Langston is always there for Starr. The fear of not having her there to talk through things is huge. Langston has helped Starr, especially this year, get through some pretty major things. She feels like she lost Cole as a boyfriend and now she might lose Langston. It’s too much.

  At this point, things are starting to look up and her friendships are starting to get better. Starr and Cole are even starting to make some progress working through their problems. If Langston goes away, they might all break up as friends because Cole hangs around because his best friend is Langston’s boyfriend.

This week, while Starr was concentrating on Langston, I didn’t really get the chance to watch the show because I was delivering the baby. It was crazy because I found myself feeling that the "baby bump" was a part of me. For the last 9 months, it kept growing and feeling more and more real. So when I went up to tape, I knew that when the scenes were over, it would be small again and then it would be gone. I didn’t think that taping the birth scenes would hit me so much, but they did. I went up to set and walked into the hospital room, got into the stirrups, Kassie was there in her scrubs and all of the crew that I’ve grown up with watching - it was hard not to cry. It was a crazy experience. It brought back all of the memories of this year

–

being a part of this story. It made me think about what this story has meant to teens and their parents. This week was really a memorable moment in Starr’s life and mine.

I am so exhausted and I didn’t really give birth. I even go a little sick. I think this is the first story that has made me actually get sick because it was so emotional and intense

The night before taping the scenes, I barley got any sleep because I was so nervous. I don’t want to say anymore at this point. I will elaborate as we get closer. It’s too good to spoil

I can’t wait for you to see it

‘Til next week

XO
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Starr is going through a lot right now – friends, school, relationship stuff, family drama – not to mention the pregnancy. Imagine if she were also preparing to be a mother – getting her house ready, making arrangements for a pediatrician and daycare and everything else, plus making sure she has all the supplies and support she’ll need for the baby. It’s a lot to handle at any age, but especially difficult for teens.

Having a baby is a wonderful, magical thing – but it’s not easy. Motherhood (and fatherhood too!) is life-changing. It is not something to be entered into lightly or without in-depth consideration for what it all means. “If it happens, it happens” is not a good reason to start a family. Especially when you still have to finish school and you’re not done growing up yourself.

Being a teenager is hard enough – look at all the things Starr and Langston are going through that have nothing to do with pregnancy. Look at the all the things real life teens go through every day. Bringing a baby into that mix isn’t the best idea. Babies need grown up parents who are committed to each other and committed to raising a family.

For more information about love, sex, relationships, contraception and waiting, please visit http://stayteen.org/whats-your-relationship-reality/default.aspx