Standing Up

Hey everyone!

I have really been looking forward to talking about this week.  Starr did a really courageous thing at school -- she stood up in front of her school assembly and spoke about being a pregnant teen.

Starr has come such a long way since she first found out she was pregnant.  At first, she couldn’t even bear the thought of telling anyone – her Mom, Dad, best friend, close relatives and even Cole.  She’s been forced to grow up a lot and even though she is scared, I love how strong she has become.  Going from being afraid to tell anyone from talking to everyone at school – she’s definitely come a long way.  She’s built up a lot of courage.  Starr’s had a lot of time to think about her situation and what it means to her.  She knows it’s not going away and she wants people to get that.

When she arrives at school for the first day, she is trying to hide her belly but it’s very big at this point.  It’s really impossible.  Langston is a good friend and tries to cover her. She also tells Starr that she can’t keep doing this forever but she will help her so they don’t bombard her on this first day of school.

Starr’s pregnancy is brand new for the people at her school.  Before Starr got pregnant, she would be one of the kids judging the pregnant girl.  She knows that. It’s not that she’s mean, it’s just what people automatically do.  She wants to explain how she feels and just wants some respect from the kids and teachers at school.  She really wants them to stay out of it. So when she stands up in front of assembly, she’s saying don’t jump to judge me. Don’t laugh at me. You don’t want to be in my position.  The most important thing that Starr wants is for them to understand where she is coming from.

I thought Starr’s speech was really well written. She said things like, “It’s really scary. You don’t understand that what I am going through is the scariest thing in my entire life and I am the one going through it.”  She is begging for some understanding.  She doesn’t feel like what she is doing by addressing the assembly is wrong in any way. She feels like it could be a great thing – if she could change one girl’s mind or help educate them, then she did something great for her school.  That’s what the assembly was for.

I share that same feeling with Starr.  For me, it really hit home because that’s what we have been doing with this story and this blog.  At the assembly, Starr says that if you want to judge me, that’s fine but hey maybe I could change somebody’s life. That’s pretty powerful and brave. If a pregnant girl stood in front of an assembly that Starr had attended, maybe she wouldn’t be in this situation.  One girl wrote to me and told me that she was 18 with 2 kids and that she wished that our story had been on 2 years ago.  It’s not that she doesn’t love her 2 children but maybe things would have been different for her.

I am really excited to hear your feedback on these scenes and about Starr doing such a courageous thing.

Talk to you next week.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Starr simply didn't think it could happen to her. Or, more precisely, she just didn't think.  We've all done that -- put ourselves in a risky situation without thinking about it first, without weighing the consequences.  And hopefully, we've gotten out of it a little wiser and promising ourselves we'll do better next time.  Starr doesn't really get a "next time."  When it comes to sex and pregnancy, it's not just any risky situation. It's the kind of situation that can transform you from kid to mom. That you have to think about seriously before you're doing it.

How many of Starr's classmates were looking at her and thinking, "that could have been me!"? Starr hopes at least some of them were. Starr is trying to use her experience to teach her peers, and to be open about something that she would rather hide.  Most teens say they want to hear more from society about both abstinence and contraception. Many teens who have sex either don't use contraception at all or use it inconsistently. Nearly one-third of teen girls used no contraception the last time they had sex. Many teens feel pressure not to use protection. More than one-half of teens (52%) surveyed recently said that one of the main reasons that teens do not use birth control is because their partners don't want to. And the younger teens are when they have sex, the less likely they are to use protection. Two-thirds of teens who have had sex by age 18 wish they had waited.

With all that Starr has gone through, what is the main thing you've learned from her experience? Do you think differently now about teen pregnancy? About teen mothers? About your own risks? Comment on this blog, and get informed at http://www.stayteen.org/get-informed/default.aspx.

Comments

[Samantha]

Yea! i totally agree it really toke courage to do that. I have a ? if the show was your reality life also would you have done the same things like standing up for yourself and let your child be raised better than u can at Starr's age??? Hope to hear your answer. GO KRISTEN/STARR!!

[Jami]

I THINK THAT SHE IS REALLY BRAVE FOR WHAT SHE DID I JUTS LOVE OLTL a hole lot see ya next week bye

[Michaela]

I think Starr is such an amazing, strong, and couragess person who has rely grown up over the years. I used to know ur as a braty young girl who always wanted things her way! But now I see her as a strong young women who is extreamly smart and selfless! I totally look up to her!

[vanessa roman]

My first baby was at 15.It was hard people calling you names at one point people threw rocks at me and called me a slut.It was really hard i drop out of school and keep myself at home.I went through all that and just kept strong for my baby.I had my baby at 22 weeks he fought for his life but after the third day his body gave in.Teen pregancy is becoming more and more common in the world,instead of going to school and enjoying our teen life we make choices without thinking of the conquences.My son was the best thing that every happend to me but i wish i would had a chance to grow up and become an adult a WOMEN to have become a better mother.I am very proud of One Life to Live and also Kristen Alderson to have this storyline and role of Starr to try to show that you have a choice to prevent teen pregancey.

[JJ]

Perhaps we need to start teaching kids to wait to have sex until they can handle any and all possible consequences that may result. Contraception is not 100% and focusing solely on it misses the key problem. We need to make kids want to wait, not just tell them to. When they themselves can make the the decision to wait, they're more likely to hold firm to their committment.

[Lauren]

I want to thank you for thinking of the Hurrican IKE victims. I was one of them and was out of power for almost a week. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. I also want to say that what Starr did was very courageous. I know that when I was in high school I would not have had the courage to stand up to my peers. I am 25 years old and still have trouble speaking infront of people my own age. You are doing a great job on this storyline Kristen. I can not wait to see if you are coming to SSW. Thanks for all you do.

[Holly Marie Steed:From:LV,NV:]

I really liked the way that Starr spoke about her experience,and that if her peers are thinking about having sex to use protection each and every time.

Thanks Kristen for the hard work that you do as Starr and at school.

[mirah]

I just wanted to say that when I was in High School that someone being pregnant and attending class was unheard of.

We knew it happend but those people didn't stay in our classes for long. They said it was a good thing to see the popular girl in school pregnant. One of my friends was asked not to attend graduation because she was 5 months pregnant. She and her mother told the principal that if she was not allowed to walk they would sue the district. Heaven forbid this district got a blemish. I think Starr going to school is great. Her talking to her school is even better. If people see someone pregnant even if it is with the sly remarks they know it will happen to them if they are in the same position which will help them. Cheers to you and the staff for writing and playing this out.

[Mary]

It's really over after watching this show since 1977 this SL was the nail in the coffin for me I'm in shock at how characters that I loved were killed off because of this SL.I just don't understand why RC choose to destroy the Manning family the main reason why I still was tuning in, to prop the McBain clan? an over pimped family that has no real lasting ties with this show why was this done?After watching Marcie touching,rubbing,feelin-up her great victory the baby that she's owed that baby that Starr made just for her was just to much to suffer the destruction of the Manning family was comlpete and the reason that I was watching was gone. I'm angry and bitter about how this all came about, that Blair invited Marcie to that house to feel-up her baby making machine and to let Marcie touch Sam after what Marcie did was insulting, I watched Todd fight for his son only to lose his children, all of them over this SL I hate the writers for this why is Marcie being held-up as this great mother and why is Todd as a father being destroyed is this worth it is it really worth losing so many Fans who loved this family and watched them all because of Marcie?
As for that thing that use to be Starr I'm surprised that she didn't say to her classmates "my evil father who I hate stole the great mother Marcie's baby and so he lost all of his family as punishment, I hate my family for doing this and I'm ever so gratefull that I got pregnant so that I can give Marcie this baby and I hope to make many more all for her and my mother is pleasuring John McBain as payment for my evil and hated father's crimes against Marcie"that what I heard Starr McBain say. So 31 years of viewing has come to an end, I'm still in shock about this, I had hoped that it would get better that someone at ABC would stop this horror but it got worst and worst and worst and worst, it's never going to get better and my beloved Manning are dead.

[trisha]

was it wierd havin those assembly scenes with ur real life brother when u were wearin the big pregnancy belly?

[amber]

i think that what starr did was a great thing and i think that those mean kids dont understand how hard it is to be pregnant and still have to go to school everyday, and listen to those who are being mean to her, im not pregnant but i do understand why starr said what she said. and i think they should learn more and try to prevent others from getting pregnant.... and its a great topic to talk about because they dont realize it but teen girls are getting pregnant more and more every day.

[Carol]

Kristen, you are so talented and a great singer! I have 2 daughters who do not have a relationship with their father, he left while I was pregnant with our second. Even at my age (much older than your character!) it was the most difficult time of my life and has been for 19 years; my youngest is 19 now, so I applaud you on what you're doing with the blog! Hope you stay on OLTL, but also are able to get a good education!
God bless you and hope one day I'd be able to see ya'll in person! Have been watching OLTL for years and hope many years to come!

[Emily]

Hey! I was really proud of Starr for standing up in front of everyone. I was also really glad that Cole took a stand when that guy made fun of Starr. It shows that deep down he still cares for Starr. My hope is for Starr and Cole to get back together and raise their baby, but chances seem slim for that right now. Thanks, <3

[tera]

i know how it feel's to be put in that situation... you know of being in the heat of the moment but, i had a pregnancy scare with my the only guy i have been with and it only took one time... i decided to wait longer because if i did get pregnant it would not only change my life in a crazy way but, my child's life wouldn't be all that great...i record all of the one life to live's on my dvr and watch them afterschool and when i seen exactly how hard it was for starr, i knew it would be harder for me because i don't have a supportive family or money liek starr does... so when my boyfriend would try to pressure me into sex i would think about starrand her situation and say no and i am very happy that i didn't make that mistake of giving in... i am so happy that one life to live decided to make teen pregnancy apart of their show it has taught me a lot. thank's for that... i also had a friend in 8th grade who got pregnant and we all had an assembly and the guy who was doing it asked for all of the girls who were pregnant to raise their hand andshe did...after that she lost all of her friends and no one would even talk to her... they wouldn't even let her walk across the stage at our 8th grade gradutaion... so it is very hard to go to school and expose yourself like that... and i admire my friend and starr for doing that... <3 tera

[samantha]

I think what starr did was such a big moment going and standing up and telling all the teens that this is real and it's not going away and telling all of them about safe sex and to think about it before they do it because once it's done you can't go back it's a real good storyline so thank you.

[teresa]

i watched starr do her speech infront of everyone and all i gotta say is wow
#1 if i was pregeant honestly i wouldnt even go to school so i give sooooooo much credit to starr for going to school.
#2 i think starr did the right thing in making that speech cause shes right if she could change one girls mind about being pregeant at such a young age then its a positive thing. the principle was so stupid ugh lol
but i like the story line cant wait to see what happens today :)

[Silvia]

hey Kristen,
I'm really happy you are beginning you last year at high school...I would like to be in your situation, but I'm 17 like you, but in my country(Italy) we have 5 years and so I have still 2 years in high school!!
I would like to tell you that I think that Starr is really courageus because she is able to accept her situation (that I think is very difficult for a sixteen-year-old girl like her) and to talk about it in front of an assembly!!!I think she's growing up very quickly but she's still a girl...I like Starr very much and I would like to be near her like Langston, to help her!
I hope that she and Cole will resolve their problems because they are so nice together!
Have a nice year!!!! Bye

Silvia,17
Italy

[Rachel]

Kristen, I think that this is an amazing story line and I'm really glad you're doing it. I feel like this is going to make a big difference in a lot of people's lives and I think it's really important to show people the effects of teen pregnancy. Keep up the good work!

[Casey Beane]

i love "star" I've watched oltl for i don't know how long now! "stars" story is really amazing! Ive recently just got married because i found out i was pregnant. I'm 18 legal where i'm from. I love my husband don't get me wrong, but a baby does really change everything! I wish we would of waited to have sex, but you we didn't and i'm having my baby! This little life means more to me than anything! I've taken extra precautions to make sure everything is ok for our baby! I love kristens role in this story!

[alexis]

yor so brave for doing what you did !!!!!!!

[Kate B.]

I'm am very proud of Starr for standing up there in front of so many people and talking about being pregnant. She had real guts and courage. I still can't believe she did that. I enjoyed those scenes so much, and I believe Starr was being a positive role model. She's the perfect example for her peers of what NOT to do. And she's smart in not telling her peers to not have sex because they're probably going to anyway. Sex will or would happen to a lot of her peers, and it'd be great if Starr helped at least one person.

Teen pregnancy is no joking matter, so it was very frustrating watching everyone stare and make fun of her. I hope Starr got through to them and that she won't be made fun of again.

I was frustrated with the principal too. The last scene when she told Starr the rest of her time at Lanview High could be in jeopardy (or whatever she said) had me worried. It sounded more serious than just being scolded for speaking out at the assembly. I was even thinking she might have Starr expelled or something just because of the pregnancy, and that wouldn't be right. I wonder what Starr's in trouble for. She was standing up for herself and trying to get her peers to understand what can happen if they have sex. I hope she's not in too much trouble.

I'm loving this storyline, and I can't wait to see what happens next! Keep up the amazing work!

[Dezerai]

Ok, So I don't really get the whole adoption thing, Star has SO MANY people willing to help and support her and her family has money so it's not like her and the baby will be struggling and given the way Dorian feels about the Kramer girls you would think she would be pushing harder to keep the baby in the family, and why Marcy why not your mom, or Dorian, or Cole, this whole adoption thing makes NO Sense whatsoever, most girls give up their babies because they can't afford them or want a better life for them than they can provide, you can't tell me that Marcy as a single mom, (because of what is going on in her life) would be able to give this baby a better life especially on a substitute teachers salary, compared to the money in the Krammer and Manning households. This started out as a good story line but has just gotten ridicules. Speaking from a teen moms point of view most of them WANT their babies. Especially by the point at which Starr is in where you can feel the baby and connect to the baby. I am disappointed in how this is turning out.

[Alex]

Well...Let me start by saying I love you on one life to live. You and Langston our like my Fav's. Anyways I was very impressed with this scene and how she stood up to everyone. The only thing that bothered me was the whole safe sex speech went on to long for my taste. But other wise I was very pleased.

[Leann]

this blog is so great and i think that what the show is doing with starr and cole is amazing and how they are trying to bring out the point of teen pregnancy my cousin megan got pregnant her senior year and at her graduation she was huge and she wasnt the only one pregnant her babys dad is gone and i think its great that cole wanted to help starr and how he wants to be there for this baby cuz most guys dont

[Jaime from Syracuse]

Lets see well I have watched you grow up on the show and I think the pregnancy has forced you to grow up faster than you ever imagined, but your character is becoming more alive now and watching you is one of the best parts of my days expecially being a young mother myself. Alot of teenagers are learning from your mistakes and I hope that it helps them not to make the same mistakes. My favorite line that i have ever heard from your character is that you cant be a mother beacause your still a child your self. keep it up and hopefully you will change some futures!!