One Life to Live: Start Talking with Kristen

Friendship and a little break...

Hey everyone.

So you didn’t see Starr this week on the air because it was taped when I was on vacation. So I’m gonna give you a little sneak peak at next week.

Even though Starr and Cole are at the center of this story and it’s their baby, the situation affects so many others – most clearly their best friends. So next week, Cole and Langston talk about whether or not they can maintain their friendship.  This pregnancy affects more than just the couple – their family and friends are a huge part of it too. Cole and Langston formed a bond when they both lost their parents.  Now they want to see if their can still be friends.  Right now, Cole is not being that civil to Starr and Langston is not too happy about it.  Langston will stand by Starr no matter what but she doesn’t want to lose the friendship she has with Cole.  If things are strained between Langston and Cole, that could mean trouble for BFs Markko and Cole or even Markko and Langston.  That’s why it’s great that they’re talking about their friendship.  Talking means they care.

Speaking of sides, I’ve been reading posts and comments online (for this blog and on other sites) and I’m glad to see that everyone isn’t on the same side.  You want questions answered -- you want to know why Starr and Cole did this or did that.    If Starr and Cole existed in real life and lived near you, you would have an opinion, neighbors would have opinions and people at school would have opinions.  It’s a great example of a slice of real life. It’s easy for people to have opinions about other people’s life decisions. It’s like the gossip magazines.  We read a little info and all of a sudden we feel like we can judge someone’s life.  It’s human nature.   People are gonna talk.  All I can suggest is to make the best possible decision for you own life and if you’re in a situation where you can ask questions before you make a decision -- DO IT!

Fans reading this blog might feel the same way they did about this story as they did when it started or maybe something that I shared made them ask questions or change their opinion.  All of it is good.   That is why I keep encouraging people to talk, ask questions and have conversations.

By the way did you see Tanner Woods – my real-life prom date and Bob Wood’s (Bo) son - playing “Young Bo” this past Tuesday?  Wasn’t he good? Another little sneak peak: next week, you will get to see Starr in Lamaze class – just in time for Labor Day.

Have an awesome Labor Day.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• As summer comes to an end and everyone heads back to school, think about how different Starr's return to school will be now that she's having a baby.  On top of all the usual teenage stresses that come with juggling high school and relationships and friendships, Starr is adding a pregnancy to the mix.  Of course her friends, and even those who barely know her, will have opinions about the choices she is making. The fact that she's even going through with school is a big challenge. Only 40% of teen mothers finish high school, and only 3% ever finish college.  Most adults and teens say being a teen parent would at least delay or prevent young people from reaching their future goals. How do you think Starr's teenage pregnancy will affect her future goals?  How will this experience affect Cole's future?  Do Starr, Cole, Langston and Markko remind you of any tangled relationships in your own life? Has your own breakup changed the way you relate to your friends? Tell us, and find out what other teens are saying. For a special back-to-school viewpoint from one of the Campaign's Youth Leaders, Taylor, 17, from Cincinnati, OH check out: http://stayteen.org/out_loud/default.aspx. Read it and send us your own point of view.

Best Friends Chat

Hey guys.

Can you believe that this is blog #25? That means that Starr and Cole’s baby was conceived 25 weeks ago. Wow time flies!

I’m here with Starr’s 2 BFs, and mine too…Brittany Underwood, you know her as Langston and Brandon Buddy, the one and only Cole Thornhart. You’ve heard a lot about this story line from my point of view, now I’m going to put the spotlight on my friends/co-stars.

Brandon: I have received so many mixed reactions about how people feel about Cole’s choices. Some fans want Cole to fight to keep the baby and some want him to go along with Starr and her choice for adoption. I was surprised to hear how many fans were mad at Cole for breaking up with Starr. I hear a lot of “how could you do that to her?” The OLTL fan club event was this past weekend and almost everyone there was unanimous in the fact that they want Starr and Cole back together. The scenes have been really emotionally challenging lately especially the break up scenes. Cole is losing the one person he thinks he has left in his life. This was a huge and really difficult decision for him to make.

Me: Walking away is the hardest thing.

Brandon: Both characters have valid points. There is no easy answer. We love that all of our fans have different opinions. More than anything, Cole is really determined to not put the baby in the middle of a war between Starr and Cole. He decided to give up his rights for the baby out of love for Starr and the baby. It was an incredibly hard decision.

Me: Brittany, have you had any conversations with friends or family about our story?

Brittany: My good friend’s mom had her as a teenager. Ultimately, their story was a happy one but it doesn’t always end that way. She has had some great conversations with her mom who said “yes, I had you at 16 but why choose the hard way? It wasn’t the end of the world for us but it wasn’t easy either. Use protection. Be smart. Don’t give up your childhood at 16.” I think it’s good that Starr is choosing adoption because childhood is so important.

Brandon: Another thing that I keep hearing about is the money thing. Both Starr and Cole have people around them with money. People ask “why can’t they keep the baby?” I think it’s a good point to bring up, but money alone doesn’t raise a child.

Brittany: Especially if you’re not ready to be a parent.

Me: I feel like as the story progresses, I play that the decision is harder for Starr. For Starr, she has made the decision but she is living her life with this growing baby inside of her…it’s sleeping with her, with her as she walks around, she feels it kick, it’s every move. Starr is becoming really attached in spite of her decision for adoption. This week, Marcie asked Starr if she wanted to be a part of the baby’s life and Starr was not prepared for that question. Even though she and Langston made a video for her child when he or she turns 16 that would explain that Starr is his/her mom, she is not really sure that she really wants them to know. As the actress playing Starr, I have conflicted emotions re: what I want for Starr just like Starr is having. From fan feedback, the audience is too.

Brandon: All of our fans have different opinions.

Me: That’s the beauty of this story. It makes you feel something and it’s OK if it changes.

Brittany: There is not one side or answer.

Me: It’s a really conflicting situation. It makes you think.

Me: I want to thank Brittany and Brandon for being our guests on Blog # 25. It’s always interesting to hear other people’s stories. That is the point of this blog. Also this week, Ashley Wilkens aired (on Wed 8/20. I told you about her when she taped and she also guest-blogged.) and I think she did an amazing job. Starr also had a scene where she was having a sonogram. It was so strange to lie on that bed and put my feet in the stirrups. My mom called after she watched those scenes and said she got choked up. She knows it’s not real but it seemed so real. I find that as the story progresses and Starr’s baby bump keeps getting bigger, the more I (Kristen) am attached to Starr’s baby. I didn’t expect that.

Wow, that was a long one.

Until next week.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

The fact that Kristen and her friends are taking this story so personally, and talking about it with each other, is exactly what we'd hoped would happen, and we hope you're talking about it with your friends and parents too.

Brandon (Cole) is right when he says it takes more than money to raise a baby.  And many teen parents don't have the money that Cole and Starr do to begin with. In fact, It costs at least $10,600 to raise a baby for one year. That’s the equivalent of 1,178 movie tickets, 163 pairs of sneakers, or 42 IPods.  And that's just the first year.  Most dads of babies born to teens don't marry their babies' mothers and don't have the financial resources to contribute a meaningful amount of money to help with the baby's costs.   This is one reason that babies born to teens are far more likely to end up in poverty.

Teen parenthood is hard on teens and harder on their babies, but it doesn't mean that there aren't success stories -- like Brittany's (Langtson) friend and her mom.  But her friend's mother still says what so many other teen moms -- successful and otherwise -- say:  that they love their children but they wish they had waited to have children until their lives were more settled, and they were more grown up themselves.  Babies need and deserve adult parents who are equipped and ready to take care of them for a lifetime.  After all, babies may give unconditional love -- but more than that, they require it.  Your teen years are a time to learn, grow, and figure out who you are before you have adult responsibilities.

Have you been talking about this story with your friends? Your parents? Tell us about it in the comments section of this blog, learn more about preventing teen pregnancy and tell us how you "Stay Teen" at stayteen.org.

Father and daughter

Hey everyone. This week, I want to talk about Starr and Todd…

Starr’s always had a really special relationship with her father. On today’s show, Todd pays Starr a visit wanting to help her get through her break up with Cole. Starr sees this as a slap in the face.  Todd’s always hated Cole. She sees this as an “I told you so” from Todd.  All of sudden he wants to be buddy-buddy.  Starr’s not having it.  She’s become too smart for his games. He thinks everything is just perfect when it goes his way. He thinks that he’s the only one that could ever be right. Starr wants him to know that it’s not true!

Todd was always the person closest to Starr. She could always count on him.  It’s different that her relationship with Blair.  Starr and Todd teamed up, got in trouble, pulled pranks on people.  But ever since Cole entered the picture, that’s changed. She’s not willing to give up one person for another – Cole for Todd.

Right now it’s so easy for her to be angry with Todd because he’s been really malicious. Of course, Starr would take Cole’s side against Todd. Todd tries to tell her that it’s a huge mistake to give the baby up for adoption.  He says that she’ll regret it for the rest of her life.  Which, BTW, is not very nice of him.

She always felt like Todd was her #1 go-to person and she was always the one that Todd would go if he had a problem. For Todd to not return that for her at this point is so selfish and one-sided of him.  He only cares about what he thinks is best, not what Starr thinks is best. Starr really wants Todd to hear her like Blair does.  Of course Blair would prefer it if her 16 year old daughter wasn’t pregnant and that she wasn’t choosing adoption. But she is respecting Starr’s decisions and standing by her. Starr wants Todd to be the guy he used to be. Blair is being that figure for Starr.  Starr cares a lot about her dad but he’s making it so hard.  We all hope that Starr and Todd can get through these really rough times and find the closeness they once shared.

I look forward to seeing anyone who will be at the “One Life to Live” fan club event this weekend and I will also be hosting my very first Kristen Alderson fan club event tonight! I’m really excited. To those who can’t come, I look forward to meeting you at other events.

Talk to you next week.

XO,

Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• Dads make a difference.  Especially when it comes to raising, influencing and protecting their daughters.  Many dads of teens think that once their kids hit high school, they listen most to everyone else – friends, media, popular culture – and parents somehow become irrelevant.  Far from it.  Studies show that fathers have a unique and special role to play in the lives of their daughters.  Attention, respect, and support from fathers helps teen girls in so many ways.  Dads can help teen girls realize that their brains and achievements are more valuable than their looks.  More than half of teen girls (57%) say that attracting boys and looking sexy is one of the most important things they can do – dads can do a lot to put that into perspective.  Dads, your teen daughters need you now just as much as they did when you taught them how to ride bikes.  They may not always act like it but teaching them how to protect their feelings, and letting them know you value them, can make a world of difference.  Learn more about the power of parents at http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/default.aspx

Hopes and dreams

I hope everyone is having a great summer…better than Starr and Cole!

Starr and Cole, like most people, have hopes and dreams for their futures.  What were your dreams when you were a teenager?  What would you do if something got in the way of making those dreams happen?

As soon as Starr found out she was pregnant, her thoughts and plans were immediately about the baby’s future.  Starr’s dream at this point isn’t to be a mother.  She is a teenager. Right now, her dreams are for college and to start a career.  Marcie’s dreams are to become a mother.  Starr can help make that happen.  She can give her that chance – the chance for someone to be a mother who wants it completely heart and soul.

Even though Cole thinks that it will be best if the baby is raised by him, Starr believes that Cole won’t be able to live out all of the dreams he had for the future. Starr doesn’t want them to get to a place where they regret everything. Starr has done a lot of research.  She doesn’t want to bring the baby up with false hopes of a life that she doesn’t feel ready to give it.  She wants to make the choice for the best and easiest life for her child. Cole is thinking about right now.  It’s definitely not a money thing – he does live in a mansion. Would he feel right leaving the baby with Nora, to go off to college? Starr doesn’t want that life for her baby.  She is thinking more clearly about their future.

Cole did start to see that in their break-up scenes.  Starr and Cole both have valid points.  She is not completely cutting Cole out of the decisions.  It’s back and forth.  That’s the great thing about this story - you don’t really know who to root for.

No one’s story is the same.  With most things in life, one person thinks one way and another person thinks completely different. Starr and Cole are still children themselves.  They aren’t supporting themselves.  They both think they know what is best.  Starr wishes that they could realize they have that in common and figure out a solution together.

Even though Cole thinks his dreams have changed, Starr really believes that he wants this baby because he lost his entire family –not because he wants or is ready to be a father.  He is trying to fill the void in his life. Starr doesn’t have all of the answers either because if she did, she would be together with Cole right now. 

It’s going to be a complicated, exciting journey for everyone involved.

Until next week. Keep Dreaming :-)

Xo,

Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• The drama with Starr and Cole isn’t out of the ordinary for teen couples.  Stability and commitment come with maturity and experience.  Figuring out how to be in a healthy relationship takes time and work.  Parenting requires even more time and work.  That’s why it’s important to be in a strong relationship where both people are committed to each other and committed to raising a baby before you get pregnant.
• You can’t just let it happen.  Sex is serious and has adult consequences. If you've never thought about these things, start now.  It's too important not to.  In a way, not thinking about sex and its physical and emotional consequences is a decision of sorts.  If you're having sex and not using protection, you probably will get pregnant.  You can’t assume that things will or won’t happen without you playing an active role in making it so.  After all, 730,000 American teen girls got pregnant last year and like Starr most of them never thought it would happen to them either.

• Make a plan.  Either don’t have sex or use protection carefully and consistently each and every time.  Nearly one-third of American girls get pregnant at least once before age 20.  And once there is a pregnancy, all roads ahead are difficult and so much in your life is forced to change.  Cole might be thinking the way many young people think: that if they have a baby, they'll get unconditional love.  Well, babies do give a lot of love but the truth is that really, they require unconditional love.  Are you ready to put your own dreams aside to take care of someone else 24/7? It’s a lot easier to make your dreams come true if you wait until you’re an adult to have a baby. Find out more, and tell us what you think at stayteen.org.

Loss

Hey Guys!

This week was a really sad week for Starr and Cole because they broke up and that got me thinking that Starr’s main question probably is “could she have done anything to change their situation?” So I’ll ask you: Have you lost something that meant a lot to you and could you have done something to change it?

Earlier this year, I was supposed to perform in the “ABC Daytime Salutes Broadway Cares Equity Fights AIDS” event, but I got really sick and was unable to go.  I had rehearsed and was really looking forward to performing with Kathy Brier but there was nothing I could do.  Luckily, another opportunity came up a few months later and we got to perform together.  Things happen in life that you just can’t control and you have to try to make the best out of it.

Starr got pregnant.  She can’t change that at this point.  It’s a fact.  She could have made different choices before she got pregnant.  Now she has a child to think about and she has to find a way to make the best possible choices.

You go through break ups in life and you want to put all of the blame on yourself and not the other person. You want to beat yourself up for the relationship not working, but sometimes you have to look at a situation and realize that there are reasons things happen and find the silver lining on a dark cloud.

One of my best friends, Cole, moved away to LA.  I was so upset when I found out. But now we see each other every time I go to LA or he comes to NY. We make the best of it.  Even though it felt like the worst thing in the world, we figured it out.  We have a great friendship and make the most of it, especially when we are together.

Once something happens, you have to figure out how to make it right for you.  The press often asks me about Jamie Lynn Spears. Like Starr, she could have made different choices before she got pregnant.  Now the best thing she could do now that there is a baby girl, is give her the very best possible life and love her.

Looking back to March, Starr and Cole should have made a different choice.  But they didn’t. Bad things happen in and out of your control.  You have to figure out a way to make the best of every situation.  Make smart choices before you act and try to make the best out of difficult situations out of your control. Not everyone is dealing with teen pregnancy but you can still learn from Starr and Cole’s mistakes like I have.

Until next week.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• Starr and Cole have grown up fast these past few months, and their relationship didn't make it as far as they'd always believed it would.  So many young women -- teens and young adults alike -- think that if they're in a relationship, sex will bring them closer and having a baby together will forge an even stronger bond. The reality is that pregnancy stresses even the strongest relationships, and (like Starr and Cole) many get stressed to the breaking point. So many young couples have never talked about contraception until it's time to take a pregnancy test.  If you're having sex, talk with your partner about the best kind of birth control for both of you.  Go to a health care provider together.  Commit to each other that you're going to do whatever it takes to prevent pregnancy -- even if it means not having sex until you figure it out. FACT: births resulting from unplanned pregnancies lead to higher levels of chaos and turmoil between the parents and within the family. Such relationship turmoil creates troubling environments for children, especially young children.  Find out more about how to prevent teen pregnancy, and what other teens say about their relationships,  at www.stayteen.org.