One Life to Live: Start Talking with Kristen

Questions Answered

Hi everyone.  I hope you had a great week.  I’ve been reading over everyone’s comments on the blog.  I want to thank you so much for taking my blog seriously and using it in your own life.  It means so much to me and we really hope that it is helping to make a difference.

  Tara wrote:

“…I don't think that what she is doing is giving the audience the right impression. I know it is just a show… I really hope that they have her lose her attitude in the show, because after all, she did this, along with Cole, and that is what kids in the real world are watching.”

Starr has always had that devious side to her but when she started to grow up, she kinda lost it.  She realized that she didn’t need to fight so much anymore.  She was always fighting for her parents to be together.  Then she went to high school and started living her own life (she did have to deal with some high school problems – Britney Jennings), but nothing that she was so passionate about until now with her baby.   Starr wants what is best for this child and that is the most important thing and she is willing to fight as much as she has to for it.  They have shown her being moody because that is realistic.  They are showing all of the stages that she is going through – there are the mood swings because everything is changing so quickly in her life and her body.

As far as giving the “right impression,” we a telling one story of teen pregnancy – Starr’s story.  Every teen feels the situation differently and reacts differently.  Starr has her own unique background, so you are seeing her reaction.  Starr is not being selfish in this situation or being a brat.  Starr knows what she did.  She knows that she and Cole are responsible for being in this situation.  Now, she wants to make it right.  Now, there is a baby.  That’s what she is fighting for – the BEST possible life for her child.

Thanks Tara for watching and posting.  Ethan wrote:

“I am kinda glad kinda upset about Cole telling Todd that you’re pregnant! One the other hand I don't think you should give up the baby! I do like Marcie but why give up the baby!!!”

Starr doesn’t see it as giving up her baby but rather as choosing a better life for her son or daughter.  Cole is making decisions on his own and really trying to figure things out for himself.  He knows that he loves Starr and he wants them to be a family. He is doing whatever he has to do to get that but in the meantime, they are starting to lose who they are as a couple

Beth added:

“I really liked Cole and thought he and Starr would stay 2gether 4ever now I am not so sure.”

Every couple usually thinks that they’ll be together forever.  Statistics show that once a teen couple gets pregnant, they usually break up in the end.  Even with a couple like Starr and Cole who were stable and had been through so much. They might not be able to get through this no matter how much they love each other and want to be together.

There are no easy answers.  That’s why I like to do these blogs where I respond to your comments.   I’m telling everyone to talk.  That’s why I want to respond to your comments, talk to you and keep the conversation going together.

Until next week.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• 8 out of 10 fathers of babies born to teens don't marry the baby's mother -- and that even for those teens who do get married, the relationships usually break up within 2 years.
• Most of the 750,000 teens who got pregnant last year didn't think it would happen to them. Each one of those girls has a different story, full of emotions and major life changes -- they have much in common with Starr, but each of their stories is unique too. And they didn't do it alone. Sex is really serious, and if you're not ready for the adult consequences (physical and emotional), then you're not ready for sex. Did you know that 2/3 of teens who have had sex before age 18 say they wish they'd waited longer? Keep watching Starr and supporting her -- and know that you don't have to go through what she's experiencing. Teen pregnancy is 100% preventable. Find out more at stayteen.org.

On the road

Hey guys. This Sunday, I got back from Disney World in Florida.  It was tons of fun. I went with my cousins and I went on almost every ride. It occurred to me right before I went on one of the roller coasters that Starr recently had an air scene where she couldn't go to an amusement park. She's pregnant and of course, she can't go on roller coasters. Being in Disney and being on roller coasters - it feels like that is where you should be at 16.  But Starr can't.

Before the Emmys, I told you that it was going to be a really crazy time for me. Well, I am sitting in beautiful sunny California having just finished an amazing day of interviews at something called a press tour.While doing a press tour, you answer a lot of the same questions for many different press outlets. And  while I was on our OLTL 40th anniversary panel with Bob Woods (Bo), JP Lavoisier (Rex), Bree Williamson (Jess and Tess), Kamar de los Reyes (Antonio), Andrea Evans (Tina Lord), Brian Frons (President, ABC Daytime) and Frank Valentini (Executive Producer, OLTL), I was asked the question about what kind of feedback I get from fans about this storyline. As I started to share a story that an 18 year girl had shared with me, I almost started to cry because at that very moment it hit me how much this means to my fans and the audience and how much this is changing young girls' lives. To be a part of this is such a blessing and I've always known that but at that very moment it really hit me.

OLTL celebrated it's 40th Anniversary this week and Agnes Nixon, OLTL's creator, began this show with the intention of telling real life stories of real people and dared to tell controversial stories of the time period.  It's an honor to still be living out Agnes' dream for the show.

In past blogs, I have spoken about someone named Ashley Wilkens who got pregnant at 16 and had her baby at 17. This week, OLTL invited Ashley Wilkens to tape a some scenes with me.  Ashley played an assistant to an OB/GYN doctor. It was really awesome to meet her because the only time that I talked to her prior, was over the phone.  She is so beautiful and sweet and she did such a great job on the show even though she had never acted before.  After Ashley guest starred on the show, I asked her to guest star on the blog and here is what she had to say:

"I was back in an OB/GYN office for the first time today since I was pregnant, and it brought back a lot of memories.  It wasn't real though, I played the receptionist at the doctor's office on "One Life to Live."

It was really cool sharing my story with Kristen, and seeing her playing the part of a young teenage girl making the same decision to make an adoption plan for her baby like I did at her age.  It was very touching.

One of my lines was 'I hope you know what an amazing thing you're doing.' I felt as if I were talking to a real person and not an actress because it IS an amazing thing to do - completing the puzzle of a husband and wife who have had all of their dreams come true except the biggest one.  I made a family for them.

Adoption is the most selfless thing I believe any woman can do.  Not only to bless a family with something they cannot provide themselves, but because it takes a very bold and mature person to admit that they are simply not ready for motherhood.  Starr is one of those women. She's only 16, like I was when I was when I got pregnant two years ago, and she sees that a baby is something she is not ready for.  She wants to bless Marcie with something that she cannot have herself."

I want to thank Ashley for talking about the show and being a part of it.  She has been a very important part of my learning experience while doing this storyline.  I am sitting here thinking about this really amazing week that I've had: working with Ashley, doing interviews, talking and bonding with my castmates from the panel over lunch at the hotel and I feel blessed to have so many people around me who are willing to share their life experiences with me.  Some people ask me how I know so much about life.  It's not really me. It's from learning from the people around me.  I take their life lessons and put it into perspective in my own life.  I encourage families, friends, co-workers , classmates to really talk to one another.  You don't have to learn everything from making your own mistakes. You can learn from others.  I feel blessed to have learned so much.

Until next week when I'm back on the east coast.

xo,
Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Fewer than 5% of teens who give birth make an adoption plan – maybe because they don’t know enough about it.  If you’re curious about what birth mothers have to say, how the process works, how families are chosen, what kind of help is available, and what it all entails, please go to ichooseadoption.org.

But remember, when you’re a teenager and you’re pregnant, every road ahead is difficult -- which is why it’s important to have a plan and think about what you’ll do before you’re faced with the situation in real life.

For more about how to prevent teen pregnancy please go to thenationalcampaign.org.

Todd Find Out!

Well, the drama everyone has been waiting for has finally happened...Todd found out that Starr is pregnant!  And how did he find out? From the one person that Starr thought would never tell him -- COLE!

Were you freaking out as much as I was when I found out that Cole would be the one to tell Todd that Starr is pregnant?  Well Starr was definitely shocked and so was Blair when Todd paid a visit at Dorian’s pool. Starr hasn’t seen Todd for awhile and definitely not since she has started to show.  When she sees Todd, she hides her stomach but Todd reveal he knows the truth and tells her to stop lying to him.  Blair tries to step in but Starr gathers a lot of courage and tells Blair she can handle Todd.  She says that she might as well tell Todd why she lied to him.  Starr is growing up really fast now. She has to.

When Starr found out that she was pregnant, I am sure that she imagined that she would be facing a lot of changes in her life but one thing she did not expect is that she would be fighting with Cole.   She couldn’t have imagined that he would betray her like that because it’s usually them against everyone else. Now not only is she facing all of the changes that her body is going through but she feels like she can’t trust Cole.

I know that Starr and Cole definitely want to be together forever.  They really do want to last.  Statistics say teen couples than get pregnant don’t usually end up together.  Starr and Cole are really struggling with everything right now and there will be many more struggles ahead...struggles that would test anyone’s relationships.  Pregnancy is a really big deal even in the best possible situations.

XO,

Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Even the strongest teen relationships have their ups and downs. But Starr and Cole are dealing with a complicated situation that is creating more tension in their relationship -- and many real teen couples in this situation aren't even planning to end up together the way Starr and Cole are.  In fact, 80% of the fathers of babies born to teens don't marry their babies' mothers -- and of those who do get married, the marriages usually dissolve within 2 years.

Starr has grown up quickly these past few months, both because of her pregnancy and because of its ripple effect on her relationship, her friendships and her family. She is mature enough to realize how serious it all is, and that she has to start looking out for her and her baby's best interests.  But she is also young enough to realize all that she is missing out on -- including the chance to have her biggest worry be about which outfit to wear on a night out.  Two out of three teens who have sex before age 18 say they wish they'd waited longer.  Sex is serious, and has serious consequences.  What is the best thing about being a teen right now? What would you miss most about your daily life if you had to start dealing with pregnancy and parenthood?  Listen to what other teens are saying and tell us how you "stay teen" at stayteen.org.

Happy Fourth of July!

It’s Independence Day and sadly Starr may be getting her independence from Cole which is something she doesn’t want!

So this week on the show, Cole and Starr haven’t been talking at all.  Cole won’t respond to any of Starr’s messages. Langston and Markko step in to help get them in the same place so they can talk.  Starr gets mad at Langston and Cole at Markko for getting in the middle.  Once they both end up at the diner, they are about to talk when Marcie walks in.  Starr gets kind of panicked and gives Marcie a look hoping she won’t come over.  But then Marcie meets with her lawyer which Starr sees as a good sign.  Starr really hopes that she is seriously discussing the adoption and she gets kind of excited.

Cole and Starr sit down and he brings up the tension between Starr and Marcie.  Starr blows it off and says she wanted to talk to Cole uninterrupted. Starr and Cole get back onto the topic of the baby which is their main concern.  Cole really wants her to give in – he wants them to raise the baby.  Starr is NOT giving in.  She wants to convince him that they are too young! Their argument continues until Cole says that he loves Starr but this is not going to work.  Starr asks him if the only way for them to be together is to keep the baby. Cole is at a loss and says that he doesn’t know and walks out.

I’ve had arguments with my friends where they’ve said “that’s it” over something so tiny and little and I think that’s absurd! It can be worked out.  But even when Cole says “that’s it” over about something pretty important that’s not even close to being tiny or little, Starr still thinks that it can be worked out.  She knows that this is a bigger deal than almost anything but she also believes that this is not enough for them to not be dating anymore. She wants them to be together.  She thinks they can talk it out.  A lot of problems can be worked out if you listen to what the other is saying.  Cole is NOT listening.  For Cole, it’s his way or no way.

Never ever, ever in Starr’s wildest dreams did she imagine that Cole would do what he just did, which is go to her father.

Today, I am leaving for my summer vacation for a week but you’ll still hear from me next week.  I get to escape from Starr’s drama for a little bit but that does not mean you should.  In fact, next week, there will be plenty!

Happy Fourth of July!

XO,

Kristen

Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• Starr and Cole are struggling with their relationship -- which is normal because they're teenagers and relationships can be difficult to figure out, even when you love someone, and even when you're an adult.

• That's one reason why it's always ok to delay having sex.  Sex has adult consequences, both physical and emotional: like pregnancy and STDs, and sometimes overwhelming feelings too. You can always say no to sex, even if you've said yes before.  And if you do say yes, you have to use contraception carefully every single time. If you're not sure you can do that, it's a pretty good sign you're not ready to be sexually active.

• Preventing pregnancy doesn't just happen -- If you're having sex, you have to plan how you'll avoid pregnancy. Think about what you would do before you get into a compromising situation. Babies need and deserve adult parents, and teens deserve to stay teens. Find out what other teens are saying, and tell us how you "stay a teen" at stayteen.org.