One Life to Live: Start Talking with Kristen

Things I've Learned

Hi everyone. So this is the week that Cole finally found out that Starr is pregnant.

Starr is very relieved because she wanted to tell him. But she needed to tell him face-to-face and alone. That was really important to her. She wanted to tell him alone because it is such a big thing, but most of all she needed to stress how important it is to keep quiet because Todd can’t find out. If he finds out, it will only turn out BAD.

Starr feels like it’s not just her making the decisions by herself about the future. She has Cole’s opinions and ideas. Langston is supportive but Cole is the baby’s father. She did almost tell her mom again. She was really ready to and felt like she could confide in her, but being interrupted by her dad really brought everything back to reality.

Cole is making the decisions now. It’s kind of a relief because Starr is living moment to moment. She is trying to think far ahead but it’s just too overwhelming. Even though she is happy that Cole knows, he is ready to run away and I think that Starr is not so sure. She will be running from something that she is going to have to keep running from and that’s really scary and overwhelming.

I learn new things everyday at studio but this storyline has been so much more. It’s been a bonding experience with my co-workers and the people around me. I’ve always learned things about acting from fellow actors, but since this story started, it’s just been so great not only to talk about acting but real life situations - to learn about pregnancy, teen pregnancy, unplanned pregnancy.

It’s been an eye opener. I learn so much from people everyday and I am constantly developing my views on planned pregnancy. What I’ve learned is to make a plan. This story and all of the conversations have given me information that is not only useful on set but information that will stay with me forever. It’s influenced me and a lot of other people’s views especially about talking to their parents. I think that’s a great thing.

Talk to you next week. Do you think Starr and Cole will run away? You’ll find out next week. Until then.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with tips from The National Campaign for Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

Starr and Cole are trying to work through this situation together and they are lucky to have each other, but in real life that usually isn’t the case. In fact, eight out of ten fathers don’t marry the teen mothers of their children—not that Starr and Cole are getting married—but many teens aren’t able maintain a relationship of any kind. Dealing with a pregnancy is difficult and it often tears people apart. Some people think it’s hard to talk about safe sex or it’s awkward to bring up the topic of birth control or that they’ll hurt someone’s feelings if they don’t say yes to sex. Even so, it’s even worse to tell someone you’re pregnant.

The bottom line is that sex won’t make a guy yours and a baby won’t make him stay.

For more information about sex and relationships, go to stayteen.org. Parents can help their teens avoid getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant. Learn more at thenationalcampaign.org.

One Decision Changes Everything

Hi everyone. I’m currently on location for some really big stuff that is going to happen in May--but I can’t talk about that yet! Stay tuned!

Starr and Langston had some pretty intense conversations this week about choices. I was recently talking to someone about this storyline and they asked me what the hardest decision was that I ever had to make. I quickly responded “what shoes to wear with this outfit.” Of course, I was joking but those are the kinds of decisions 16 year olds should be making. Not life changing decisions.

Langston thinks abortion is a bad idea and doesn’t believe in it. She wants Starr to think long and hard before she does anything. She makes her views very clear. Starr’s views are a little more simple: She knows the choice she faces is so serious but the truth is, she just doesn’t want to face having to make a choice.

One decision can change everything. Not just in her life but the people around her. Before, life was so simple for Starr. She didn’t really have any big decisions to make. She definitely didn’t have to make decisions that would completely change everything. She’s having a really hard time. This situation--being pregnant and what to do about it--is different than anything she’s ever had to face. It’s a situation that is completely preventable. Now every move she makes, can change her life, and the lives of her baby, Cole, Dad, Mom, Langston…the list goes on. Make sure you don’t get to where Starr is and have to make that decision.

When Starr finally makes her decision, she is alone. She sees a couple hugging and she’s not with Cole. She sees two best friends and misses Langston. She feels really lonely. She’s trying to be mature, but most of all she’s scared and she’s young!

At my school, one of my teachers said that they heard my character is pregnant on the show. Word travels fast! And I’m not pregnant, my character is. But rumors and gossip travel quickly.

After today’s show, the Public Service Announcements (PSA) for stayteen.org aired. Doing the PSA made me check out the site--I watched videos. It’s cool, relaxed. The site isn’t telling you “don’t do this, don’t do that.” It’s pretty awesome. I really love that this story has given me the opportunity to learn more.

Until next time.

XO,
Kristen

Start talking with tips from The National Campaign for Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• One out of every three girls in the United States will get pregnant before age 20. Still, even though people in every town, every community, and every part of the country feel the impact of teen pregnancy, half of all teenagers have never considered how a pregnancy would affect their lives. It’s important to think about it in advance and to know how to prevent a pregnancy because once you’re pregnant, every road ahead is challenging, no matter what.
• In real life there are no retakes. Sex is serious. Have a plan. Will you say no? How will you do it without hurting feelings? If you are going to say yes, what kind of protection will you use? Where will you get it? Have you talked with a parent or another trusted adult about this?
• Parents: Make sure your teenager knows he or she can come to you at any time, and if it’s uncomfortable then give it another try. Watch One Life to Live with your son or daughter and ask what they think – about Starr’s situation, about how Cole and Langston are (or aren’t) helping her, about what her parents could be doing differently. Listen carefully and let them know you really care. Visit The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy for more ideas about how to help your teens make good choices and to take a quiz measuring how well you know what today’s teens are thinking.

Tough Choices

It’s true, Starr is pregnant. Now what?

Starr was so close to opening up to Blair this week and reveal that she’s pregnant. Starr really needs her Mom. I think everyone needs their parents. For a moment, she felt like she could open up to Blair but then she realized that it was just not a good idea. Blair knew something was wrong but Starr just blew it off. She loves her family but just doesn’t feel comfortable sharing this. She’s afraid.

Me and my mom tell each other everything. My mom’s told me about when she was pregnant with me - how she was excited, nervous, scared and she was 29 years old. She had the strongest bond in the world with me when she was pregnant. I don’t think that’s what Starr is going through. It might hit her eventually but right now, Starr’s world is a scary place.

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about some of the great conversations that I’ve had because of this story. This week, I had the honor of being able to talk to a girl named Ashley. She got pregnant when she was 16 and had her baby at 17. She was very brave to share her personal story with me. I asked her about the emotions she was feeling when she was pregnant. The thing that stood out is how strong she was in making the best possible decisions for her baby. She is so mature. Her experience changed her for the better because she didn’t give up. She made a plan.

After talking to Ashley, I look at teen pregnancy a little differently. She made such a brave decision for her baby. She made something that could have been negative into a beautiful positive. You hear about teen pregnancy but you don’t hear the personal emotions. It’s easy to make a quick judgment. She wasn’t ready and she knew being a parent is a huge responsibility. She definitely looked at her situation and made the best choice she could. She chose adoption because she believed it was the best thing for her son. She said that everyone kind of glamorizes how cute a pregnant belly is. Yeah it’s cute but she had to live with it and see it everyday. It’s so much more.

I’ll share more about my conversation with Ashley in some of my future blogs.

Until next week when Starr has a huge decision to make.

Xo
Kristen

Start talking with tips from the National Campaign for Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• If you're a teenager facing something as serious as a pregnancy, there is nothing more important than confiding in a trusted adult. Parents or other family members, teachers, faith leaders -- someone who cares about you and whose opinion you value. As hard as you think it might be to tell someone now, eventually it will be much more difficult if you don't. For information about how to avoid getting pregnant in the first place, visit stayteen.org.
• There are more than 750,000 teen pregnancies in the U.S. every year, but fewer than 5% of them end in adoption. For more facts and figures about teen pregnancy and teen childbearing, visit The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. For more information about adoption, visit The Adoption Council at www.adoptioncouncil.org.

Now or Never? Choose Never

Hi again. Well, this week the audience found out that Starr might be pregnant. Yes it’s true, Starr and Cole didn’t use protection! And they do know better.

Starr had to face talking about what happened that night she and Cole slept together for the first time. Up until this point, she didn’t have anyone to talk to or she was just too scared. Her BFF, Langston saw her with the pregnancy test and now she knows.

Langston brings up some interesting points when she finally finds out they slept together. She points out that Starr and Cole only had sex once--so she shouldn’t be pregnant. She said some people try for a while and this was Starr’s first time, so the chances are slim. Well, even if you hear that it’s rare for someone to get pregnant on the first time, it’s not that rare. All it takes is once. It does happen and for Starr and Cole, this might be what they are facing.

Starr and Cole had a plan. They talked about when the right time would be and what it would be like. It would be special and they would use protection. They didn’t stick to their plan. They got caught up in the moment.  Because of circumstances, it seemed like “now or never” because she was never going to see him again. Well, if you don’t have protection, it’s NEVER. Starr and Cole were in the moment but their plan should have dealt with “in the moment.”

If you have a plan, stick to it. You shouldn't have sex without protection, unless you are trying to get pregnant. Look at Starr, because she didn't use protection and now she's having to face a lot of problems. Even if it seems like "now or never,” don't give into the moment, especially without protection.

Starr is facing some scary stuff right now and it’s really difficult. It’s helpful that she can share her thoughts and feelings with Langston, even though she says some things that frustrate Starr. This is such a good example for parents and teens. Make the effort to have a conversation even if it’s hard at first. When parents talk to teens and teens say “you don’t understand,” at least the parents are trying and they should keep trying. Having a conversation helps. The whole pregnancy situation is scary enough but facing it alone is terrifying. Starr is comforted by the fact that she has someone who is trying to help her. 

It’s great reading your thoughts on the story. I would love to hear from anyone who “started talking” because of our story or this blog. 

Monday is a big day for Starr.

Talk to you next week.

Xo

Kristen

Start talking with tips from the National Campaign for Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• Did you know 1 in 3 girls gets pregnant by the age of 20? If teens and parents ask themselves some of the questions below, we can greatly decrease the number of teen or unwanted pregnancies.
• Teens: Finding yourself in a sexually charged situation is not unusual. You need to think about how you'll handle it in advance. Have a plan. Will you say "no"? Are you afraid of hurting someone’s feelings if you do? Will you use contraception? If so, what kind? How will you negotiate all this? All of these questions are far too important to put off thinking about. Talk it over with friends, family, and yourself. Practice saying the words out loud. After all, it may be awkward to talk about condoms, but it is much more traumatic to tell someone you’re pregnant. Talking about these issues and having a plan doesn’t make you pushy or "easy" – it makes you smart.
• Parents: Talk to your kids about their plans--not only their plans for how to approach a sexual situation, but their plans and goals for the future. The chances that your children will delay sex, pregnancy, and parenthood are significantly increased if their futures appear bright. This means helping them set meaningful goals for the future and talking to them about what it takes to make future plans come true. For more ideas on how to help your teen avoid pregnancy, look at the Ten Tips for Parents from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen & Unplanned Pregnancy. http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/ten_tips.aspx