Speak Up!

Hey everyone,

First, I want to thank everybody for responding and being so supportive of my blog “Start Talking with Kristen.” If you read the first entry last week, you know that we decided start this blog to hopefully get people to start talking about the issue of teen sex. It’s been amazing how everyone is willing to share support for our story and share personal stories with me. That is really what this blog is about.

OK, so Starr has had to deal with a lot of craziness since last week when she and Cole had sex for the first time. It’s been really intense! Todd has chosen to take away all of Starr’s freedoms—no cell phone, Internet or anything. She’s not allowed out at all and Todd thinks it’s punishment for her own good. As a teen, if I was going through this, I would definitely need someone to talk to. It wouldn’t help if everything was taken away from me. But with Starr, Todd didn’t listen to her. I think he was caught up in his own fears.

Starr has really tried to get Todd to listen to her. When someone doesn’t listen when you repeat yourself over and over, it’s hard. Especially when you’ve listened to them a million times. Starr really wants to be heard and she’s not and it’s frustrating. It’s a big problem with some teens I have met and their parents. It’s sad because they end up hating their parents. They want to be treated right and have a say and be accepted--like they matter. If you’re always being told “you can’t go out, you can’t go out, you can’t go out,” you’ll be more determined than ever to go out. I think adults would react the same way. Put yourself in your kid’s shoes so that they wanna open up.

Starr is not only trying to get through to Todd but she is experiencing some pretty intense emotions for the first time. Having sex for the first time is something that I can’t relate to, so I haven’t felt those emotions yet. I can imagine that giving away something so intimate and sacred is a lot to deal with. This is the most vulnerable Starr has been. She put her heart on the line and it would help to have someone to talk to.

That’s all for now. ‘Til next Friday.

Xo

Kristen

Start talking with your child or parent with this information provided by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:

• Want to find out what teens across the country wish parents knew when it comes to helping them deal with sex and prevent pregnancy? Visit: http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/talking_back.aspx
• The #1 influence on teens when it comes to sex is their parents. But they don't always act like it. They do want to know what parents think. Teens often say that they are afraid to ask their parents about sex, because they're afraid their parents will freak out. Well, teens are going to learn about sex somewhere, so, parents: Wouldn't you rather they hear it from you?

Questions for teens:

• Do you have an example of something your parents have done that's made them easy to talk to about tough subjects?
• What about something they've done that's made it hard to talk to them?
• What advice would you give other parents?

Comments

[angela martin]

OK, I thought Todd stopped them. Did they actually go all the way?

[Hailey]

like ive said many times this storyline is amazing! its really easy for me to talk to my parents about sexual relations because of the fact that my father is an obstetrician/ gynecologist so they have always been open they told me straight up that i could come to them for anything and i always have

[ToniAnn]

I am an 18 year old viewer. You are the reason I watch. I have not gone though this and have been lucky to have a mom who has always made me feel I can be open w/ her, but anyway, I am commenting to tell you for a yong girl who (thankfully) hasn't been through this, you're doing a FANTASTIC JOB playing Sarr! You've been great for the past 10 years! Keep it up!

[Asiya]

I love this blog. Me being a teen myself, i am really interested in what another teen has to say. I am one who's quite quiet on this subjetc, but i feel as if it needs to be brought up in my life eventually... Good job playing Starr!!! I am really enjoying this storyline and i can't wait to dee where it goes!!

[Carolyn]

I am a bit confused. I thought that Starr and Cole were going to have sex but were interupted before it actually happened. This is the story each of them told and the way it appeared when Todd broke in on them. I really would like to know what is correct.

[Candice]

HI Kristen first of all i would like to tell you that i'm a big fan of your's and the show...Now what can i say i'm 25 years old i have a baby girl that is 1 years old...i will tell you that there's is nothing wrong with waiting for the right one to come along trust me u will know when it's right and don't let anyone talk u into doin somthing u don't want to do i was 22 the first time that i can sex and let me tell u i was soo happy that i waited that long cause the guy that i had sex with is not only the father of my child but we are also engaged and i was soo happy that i waited to give it to him his the love of my life and we will be married next year but everyone isn't as lucky as i am most girls ur age goes out and does it without thinking cause they think they have to cause there friends are out there doin it and the pressure is there to do it...plz don't do it just cause they say they love u that word is said alot and alot of people don't know what it means...u will know when the time is right so just be smart and do the right thing i know u will...well with that being said i will leave u with this always remember to make the right choses in ur life cause there ur choses noone can make them for you....take care of ur self sweety and i will be tuning in to see how starr make's out with cole i hope they find there way back to one another take care

[Megan]

Kristen your so right. As a teen I know that when my parents tell me not to do something, the more I want to do it. I can't wait to read your next blog :-)
XOXO
~Megan~

[Christine]

I can relate because having sex is really an emotion thing especially for young girls who would have sex for the frist time. Put for you personally what do you think of sex?

[Kelly]

Kristen,
I never hated my parents as a teen. My dad said that he was always there if I need to talk about my feelings or anything at all! I did not see my mom all the time because of the distence between us but I still had a great relationship with my mom. I think that parents need to talk to their kids at a young age and get them to realize that if they are having any kinds of problems that they can come to them and get advice with out them prejudging things. Parents should listen to their kids and kids should know that it is OK to talk to them. My family talks about everything from politics to my very troublesome cats. I learned that when my dad made a promise he will keep it. Parents need to tell their kids that they will keep their words because the trust will be there for life.
I still think that Starr and Cole were to young to have sex. Todd was right about one thing and that is what does 16 year olds know about love. I think that Starr needs to go to Ramsey and tell him that Todd tried to kill Cole for the second time.

[Nicole]

Hi Kristen

I am a big fan. You are doing a great job with this storyline keep up the good work

[natasha]

I think that all parents go through this. Especially seeing their little girl in a bed with a guy. The way Todd reacted was a little bit crazy, but he didn't want to see his little girl having sex, so he just said it was rape. In Todd's eyes he is still seeing a little girl, but in everyone else eyes Starr is growing up. I think that its a HUGE problem with communication lines being open with their children.

[Terry 928]

I think that Starr should take some action on being both emotionallly and physically sound. Her first and most important talk should be about how desperate she felt with Cole and out of that desperation, she thought she was only left with one real choice.I understand her desperation and I know how alone she must have felt. I would discuss teenage pregnancy and birth control, but I would feel great concern for Starr and her father. I am a victim of child abuse in its truest form. I would have Starr live with her Aunt Vicky and have her Aunt Vicky talk with her and get counceling for Starr. Also,Blair needs to leave Todd and get a nice guy who will show her what real love is all about and then she will know how Starr feels about Cole.I think Blair should hook up with John McBain, he is passionate and hot!

maybe the story line should be-its wrong to have sex at 16 and before your married

[Barbara]

I Think Starr Should Go And Turn Todd In For Beating Cole Up And That She Should Go Live With Vicky Also,And That Todd Should Go To Jail For Life.And That Todd And Ramsey Should Both Get Life For What They Did To Shawn.Keep Up The Great Work Starr!!!

[martha]

No No Todd is just about to with his family. if everyone would leave him alone,we all know he loves Blair and his children and I can`t believe Starr would want that disgusting Marcie to get Sam back.We all know that Todd would never hurt his children but some one he considers a risk to his family now that is a different story and John mcbain is a sorry excuse for a police man letting criminals get away and blackmailing people.I have always liked Starr and her relationship with her father whom she has always loved Now I think she should grow up and realize he is afraid of losing her and he wants to protect her

[kristen (im a guy)]

hi there kristen, my name is also Kristen Im a 26 year old guy I kinda grew up watching one life to live, my favorite soap. I agree that teen se is not always the best answer in a relationship, as far as teenagers go. I myself was in a relationship when I was younger and the girl thought she was pregnant which thank God she wasn't. it was just best at that time, but anyways after you get that far in a relationship when you are truly in love it sticks with you even years later it sits in your mine like a tattoo and is hard to get rid of, so when you are young its best to be in love without the sexual attachment. live your life without the scars. thanks for ten years for being such a great contribution to one life to live, your very beautiful, Peace and love, kristen

[kate]

kristen,
great job w/ your blog- i love it! i just wanted to say that i think you are great on oltl and i hope you stay on the show for many years to come!

[BoriiQueen]

Hello Kristen, I am a mother of a beautiful 15 year old daughter. I tell you is very important to have communication w/ your children. I have spoken to my child about safe sex and everything else that she needed to know about the facts of life. I thank god that my daughter has a good head on her shoulder and she is very mature for her years. Me and my daughter have this special bond. I did not have that w/ my mom when I was growing up. I was never spoken about teen sex or safe sex. I advised my daughter that if or when that was going to happen we will need to talk about birth control. Kristen I admire your work, you are an amazing actress. The storyline that you are portraying now is very important. I have 1 important question and I hope you can answer it. Starr & Cole said that nothing happened and that they did not have sex, but in your blog you are stating about having sex for the 1st time. I also read that Starr will get caught w/ a pregnancy test. Is Starr & Cole keeping their 1st time a secret. I am just confused about the storyline. Take care and God Bless. Much Love, Luz

[Jessica D from Glendale, AZ]

I agree that Communication is the key between teens and Parents. Kristen you are such an outstanding actress and are doing a wonderful job. I however do not like that they are making Starr do such a terrible thing, going to Marcie and telling her to take away SAM, her brother. I know she is angry at her father but destroying her family and the bond she once had with her dad is so heartbreaking. I am 37 and have been watching the show since I was a little girl and have watched you grow up. I have a daughter who will be 17 in July, she has chosen to wait until marriage. It is a personal choice and we have open communication about sex. I know that emotions get the best of teens, hey I know it did with me I had my first child at 18 and I thought that me and his father would be together forever, but as life would have it I ended up a single mother. I tell my girls every chance I get that it is the biggest gift you can give to another person make sure that person is worthy and you are ready for that commitment. I hope that they continue this story about teen pregnancy but I hope they open the communication between Starr, Todd & Blair. I know Starr feels alone right now but she needs to realize that she lied to her parents, when she snuck outto meet Cole and about nothing happening between her and Cole (she said they did not have sex). So how do you trust someone who has LIED to you?

[Nissy]

Todd has gone crazy! but i completely understand why he went the route he did, not saying i agree with him though.

[jo]

Hi Kristen, you sound alot wiser than Star. I have been watching the show since before you were born and hoped that your character and Todd would always be close. I am really sad the show decided to have you go this route. I'd for once like to see a teen on a soap say 'no' and do the right thing. Next they will have you pregnant. Teens look to sex for a love they don't always feel at home. I wish parents would be parents like your mom. Then kids would have reasons to say no and know it will be ok if they do. First time sex is an emotional time for anyone and will stay with you your whole life..good or bad. It can be one of your best memories or your worst. It's great to know that 'being a Star ' has not changed you from being a great kid!

[Kelly Rice]

I love Starr and Cole together and you two have made your show my favorite!! It can't be easy doing that scene in front of cameras. The music was also beautiful and I want to know who sings it. i can't get myself to erase that episode off my DVR. What I want to say is teen sex has pressures and one needs to be stronger because you only do have 1 life to live. Make it your best it can be because that special caring person is hard to find but will come along if you are patient. Cole and Starr have my vote for an emmy. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YA

[mae]

starr is of age to be emancipated. she can get away from todd that's child abuse blackmail.

[marilyn]

I am very disappointed to learn that Starr and Cole actually had intercourse. I kept wondering why Starr didn't insist on having a doctor check her to confirm she was still a virgin. For those of us who seldom visit a blog, the way the story was presented was that Todd stopped anything from actually happening.

Todd should be put in prison, along with Ramsey, for the rest of his days. They are both ruthless scum.

[jennie]

i really hope starr and cole find there way back to each other I love them together