The finale
Hi guys,
Here's my last video blog! Enjoy!
XO,
Kristen
Video Blog: Wardrobe
Hi guys,
Here's my second video blog where I take you behind the scenes of One Life to Live to see how wardrobe helps Starr appear pregnant. Enjoy! Come back this Friday to see my third and final video blog!
XO,
Kristen
The end.
Hey guys.
Can you believe that this is my last blog :-(? Wait, not just yet...we have some bonus videos for you! Part one is below, and check back on Tuesday for part two and next Friday for part three. I hope you enjoy them. I loved making them!
I am writing this as I watch yesterday’s episode when Starr gives birth. It’s so crazy to watch me go into a delivery room about to have a baby. Brandon Buddy (“Cole”) just walked and started singing to me. :-) He’s singing “Crazy” because it’s crazy that Starr and Cole’s baby is about to be born. I do feel really bad for Jess (or should I say Tess) who is in pain and all alone about to have her baby while Starr is surrounded by her friends, family and Cole showed up too, which means the most.
Like I said in one of my previous blogs, having my friends and family from the show and my real life mom on set, was a very beautiful and emotional experience. I didn’t know it would be as rewarding as it was. I’m not just talking about the end of the story. I’m talking about the entire story. I’ve worked with some amazing people and to have such intimate scenes has brought me even closer to them. I feel like it’s made me closer with you, my fans. Even though I don’t see you, you welcome me into your home. It warms my heart. I know it sounds silly but I really do mean it. Not only did I go through all of this with the OLTL cast and crew, my family, I went through it with all of you. I want to thank you all for opening your hearts and sharing your stories and listening to mine. I hope that this has been as rewarding for all of you as it has been for me. Thank you for sharing this incredible journey with me. It’s definitely affected me in a way that I never expected.
A significant fact that I’ve learned is that 750,000 teen girls get pregnant each year. When I found out that fact, it shocked me more than anything. And over time, I hope that OLTL and everyone involved have made the slightest impact on that number. I hope we’ve given courage to teens to have a plan, stick to it and say “no.”
I want to thank everyone at the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy for their amazing support as well as the Candies Foundation for honoring our work and OLTL for making all of this possible by bringing you, the audience, a story of a teenage girl who made a mistake and learned a lot from it.
Starr’s story isn’t everyone’s story, but there is a part of Starr in all of us. Thank you for all of your support. I can’t even express how much it meant to me for all of you to be there to listen to me and watch Starr’s story. I never would have guessed that I would have been involved in a story like this, but I’ve learned an incredible amount about getting the facts and having a plan. It’s a great lesson for life not just for teens thinking about having sex.
Keep watching and thank you!
XO,
Kristen
Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:
The story of Starr's pregnancy has touched millions of lives and has certainly caused many young people and their families to think differently, to talk about teen pregnancy, and most importantly, to figure out their own views and values. The writers, producers, executives and most of all Kristen, Brandon and the cast have made these issues come to life in a powerful, thought-provoking way. With teen pregnancy in the news so much these past nine months, we know that Starr's story, along with so many real stories, has helped young people and their families realize that teen pregnancy happens in all kinds of families and all kinds of communities. It is 100% avoidable, but the first step is realizing that it can happen to you. Thanks to everyone at ABC and One Life to Live for telling this story so powerfully. Tell us YOUR story and learn more at stayteen.org.
Nearing the finish line
Hey guys!
Next week is the last blog L. Can you believe it? There will be a bonus for you next week! But before we get there, Starr needs to get to the hospital because at the end of today’s show (Friday), her water broke! But before we get there…in the beginning of the week, Starr opened up to Langston about her fears for when the baby comes and she gives it to Marcie. Even though she knows adoption is best for her and the baby, she’s gotten more and more attached to this baby and it’s going to be more difficult than she imagined to hand it over. Thank goodness she doesn’t know what Todd is plotting!
Taping the scenes that will air next week really made me realize how brave mothers are who choose adoption. It’s such a beautiful thing and at the same time it’s extremely difficult to hand over a child that you’ve bonded with throughout a pregnancy. I, obviously, have never been pregnant but taping the delivery scenes made me even more attached to the baby. I can’t really imagine what it feels like to really go through that.
There is nothing like the mother – child bond. Cole wrote a beautiful letter to his mom this week. He talks about his feelings towards her and the baby. Just reading it without hearing the voiceover that you heard on air was so touching. When I did tape the scenes, Brandon was so sweet, he stood off camera and read it. Hearing his voice and knowing him so well – it was that much more powerful. It brought tears to my eyes.
Starr’s pregnancy over the course of the last 9 months has really helped her relationships to grow. The audience has been able to watch her relationships with the people close to her deepen. You’ll even see Starr turn to people that she doesn’t always reach out to like Dorian because of the things coming up that she’ll have to deal with. That’s one of my favorite parts of the story- the emotional connection Starr shares with the people closest to her. It’s shown what a great mom Blair is to Starr, what a trustworthy friend Langston is and how sensitive and caring Cole is. All of these relationships have helped Starr so much throughout this pregnancy.
So next week is the BIG week and the last blog. I am sorry to see it go, but I am going to do my best to create the most entertaining blog yet. I will tell you that the story is going to go somewhere that even I didn’t expect.
Until next week.
XO,
Kristen
Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:
Starr has been through so much over the past nine months and we’ve all been fortunate to watch it happen. We’ve seen her through the good times and the hard times, through the turmoil in her relationships with Cole and her father, through the fear and uncertainty of what to do about the pregnancy. We’ve watched as she’s transformed from a scared young girl unsure of what to do next into the confident young woman who stood up before her classmates and warned them not the make the same mistakes she’s made.
But the important thing to keep in mind is that Starr’s experience is just one story. Every year in the United States there are 750,000 other stories of young girls who get pregnant too soon, who have to make hard decisions about school and money and living arrangements and health care and relationships and parenthood. It’s happening in every state, every city and town and neighborhood and high school. It can happen to any sexually active teenager. That’s why it’s important to have a plan and know before you’re caught up in the moment what will do and what you will say and how you will protect yourself. Once there’s a pregnancy every road ahead is hard – but you can avoid all of those roads if you want to. Either don’t have sex (which is the only 100% foolproof method) or use contraception carefully and consistently every single time. Talking about these issues is helpful and important.
For more information about how to talk to your kids about sex and how to help them avoid teen pregnancy, please go to http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/default.aspx
Next week is the last blog L. Can you believe it? There will be a bonus for you next week! But before we get there, Starr needs to get to the hospital because at the end of today’s show (Friday), her water broke! But before we get there…in the beginning of the week, Starr opened up to Langston about her fears for when the baby comes and she gives it to Marcie. Even though she knows adoption is best for her and the baby, she’s gotten more and more attached to this baby and it’s going to be more difficult than she imagined to hand it over. Thank goodness she doesn’t know what Todd is plotting!
Taping the scenes that will air next week really made me realize how brave mothers are who choose adoption. It’s such a beautiful thing and at the same time it’s extremely difficult to hand over a child that you’ve bonded with throughout a pregnancy. I, obviously, have never been pregnant but taping the delivery scenes made me even more attached to the baby. I can’t really imagine what it feels like to really go through that.
There is nothing like the mother – child bond. Cole wrote a beautiful letter to his mom this week. He talks about his feelings towards her and the baby. Just reading it without hearing the voiceover that you heard on air was so touching. When I did tape the scenes, Brandon was so sweet, he stood off camera and read it. Hearing his voice and knowing him so well – it was that much more powerful. It brought tears to my eyes.
Starr’s pregnancy over the course of the last 9 months has really helped her relationships to grow. The audience has been able to watch her relationships with the people close to her deepen. You’ll even see Starr turn to people that she doesn’t always reach out to like Dorian because of the things coming up that she’ll have to deal with. That’s one of my favorite parts of the story- the emotional connection Starr shares with the people closest to her. It’s shown what a great mom Blair is to Starr, what a trustworthy friend Langston is and how sensitive and caring Cole is. All of these relationships have helped Starr so much throughout this pregnancy.
So next week is the BIG week and the last blog. I am sorry to see it go, but I am going to do my best to create the most entertaining blog yet. I will tell you that the story is going to go somewhere that even I didn’t expect.
Until next week.
XO,
Kristen
Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:
Starr has been through so much over the past nine months and we’ve all been fortunate to watch it happen. We’ve seen her through the good times and the hard times, through the turmoil in her relationships with Cole and her father, through the fear and uncertainty of what to do about the pregnancy. We’ve watched as she’s transformed from a scared young girl unsure of what to do next into the confident young woman who stood up before her classmates and warned them not the make the same mistakes she’s made.
But the important thing to keep in mind is that Starr’s experience is just one story. Every year in the United States there are 750,000 other stories of young girls who get pregnant too soon, who have to make hard decisions about school and money and living arrangements and health care and relationships and parenthood. It’s happening in every state, every city and town and neighborhood and high school. It can happen to any sexually active teenager. That’s why it’s important to have a plan and know before you’re caught up in the moment what will do and what you will say and how you will protect yourself. Once there’s a pregnancy every road ahead is hard – but you can avoid all of those roads if you want to. Either don’t have sex (which is the only 100% foolproof method) or use contraception carefully and consistently every single time. Talking about these issues is helpful and important.
For more information about how to talk to your kids about sex and how to help them avoid teen pregnancy, please go to http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/default.aspx
Crazy times
Hey guys!
Starr’s gone through some crazy stuff during the past few weeks. Between Langston leaving and then not leaving and then Ray being shot at the airport – it’s been insane!! BTW, aren’t we so happy that Langston is staying in Llanview? She’ll be there when Starr has the baby and Starr couldn’t be more grateful. Now Starr can really settle down and start preparing for the birth.
Starr’s main go to person has always been Todd especially when she was younger. So now it’s interesting for Starr to see Todd for who he really is and at the same time see how wonderful Blair is. I love how OLTL has shown what a great mom Blair is. She’s really been there for Starr to comfort and guide her like she’s been doing throughout the entire pregnancy. She’s been her main support. I’m also happy that Starr and Cole seem to be getting closer these days and are able to talk more freely with each other.
I love that Starr really needs her mom and needs comfort from her to make it through this experience. Starr’s always been a very independent and introverted person. It’s nice to see that she needs to lean on someone in this situation and that that person is her mother. I know that if it were me, I would not be anywhere without my mom. She’s always been my main support through everything and I am there for her. With Starr leaning so much on Blair, it reminds the audience that Starr is going through a very grown up experience. It shows she is still a child who needs her mom and craves that support and love from her.
Like I’ve said so many times before - even though pregnancy is a beautiful thing and a blessing, it’s also a really scary thing for a girl my age to go through. Starr is really vulnerable right now. She’s been through a lot in her life but this is by far the most difficult and emotional.
Have great week.
XO,
Kristen
Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:
Starr’s right. She IS tremendously lucky to have the unwavering support of her mom throughout this time. Blair has been strong for her daughter in the face of some pretty difficult situations during this pregnancy – the breakup of her own marriage and the custody fight over Sam, just to name two. Even though she doesn’t necessarily agree with Starr’s decision to make an adoption plan with Marcie McBain, she is standing by her daughter every step of the way, including doctor appointments, legal battles, Lamaze classes, and more. Not every pregnant teenager has the benefit of such a committed parent.
Committed parents are important not just during a pregnancy, or after a pregnancy when there is a baby to care for, but BEFORE there is a pregnancy at all. Teens need their parents – not just to drive them places or hand out allowance money – but for a million reasons large and small. Parents are the #1 influence on their teens when it comes to decisions about sex. Parents matter more than media, school, friends, siblings or religion. Teens learn more about values and what’s appropriate at home that they do anywhere else. That’s why it’s important for parents to realize how influential they are, and to communicate with their kids about sex, love, and relationships throughout their lives. It’s not just one single “Talk” about the birds and the bees – it’s an entire lifetime of conversations about all of these topics and more.
For tips and ideas for talking to your kids about these issues, please go to http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/ten_tips.aspx
Starr’s gone through some crazy stuff during the past few weeks. Between Langston leaving and then not leaving and then Ray being shot at the airport – it’s been insane!! BTW, aren’t we so happy that Langston is staying in Llanview? She’ll be there when Starr has the baby and Starr couldn’t be more grateful. Now Starr can really settle down and start preparing for the birth.
Starr’s main go to person has always been Todd especially when she was younger. So now it’s interesting for Starr to see Todd for who he really is and at the same time see how wonderful Blair is. I love how OLTL has shown what a great mom Blair is. She’s really been there for Starr to comfort and guide her like she’s been doing throughout the entire pregnancy. She’s been her main support. I’m also happy that Starr and Cole seem to be getting closer these days and are able to talk more freely with each other.
I love that Starr really needs her mom and needs comfort from her to make it through this experience. Starr’s always been a very independent and introverted person. It’s nice to see that she needs to lean on someone in this situation and that that person is her mother. I know that if it were me, I would not be anywhere without my mom. She’s always been my main support through everything and I am there for her. With Starr leaning so much on Blair, it reminds the audience that Starr is going through a very grown up experience. It shows she is still a child who needs her mom and craves that support and love from her.
Like I’ve said so many times before - even though pregnancy is a beautiful thing and a blessing, it’s also a really scary thing for a girl my age to go through. Starr is really vulnerable right now. She’s been through a lot in her life but this is by far the most difficult and emotional.
Have great week.
XO,
Kristen
Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:
Starr’s right. She IS tremendously lucky to have the unwavering support of her mom throughout this time. Blair has been strong for her daughter in the face of some pretty difficult situations during this pregnancy – the breakup of her own marriage and the custody fight over Sam, just to name two. Even though she doesn’t necessarily agree with Starr’s decision to make an adoption plan with Marcie McBain, she is standing by her daughter every step of the way, including doctor appointments, legal battles, Lamaze classes, and more. Not every pregnant teenager has the benefit of such a committed parent.
Committed parents are important not just during a pregnancy, or after a pregnancy when there is a baby to care for, but BEFORE there is a pregnancy at all. Teens need their parents – not just to drive them places or hand out allowance money – but for a million reasons large and small. Parents are the #1 influence on their teens when it comes to decisions about sex. Parents matter more than media, school, friends, siblings or religion. Teens learn more about values and what’s appropriate at home that they do anywhere else. That’s why it’s important for parents to realize how influential they are, and to communicate with their kids about sex, love, and relationships throughout their lives. It’s not just one single “Talk” about the birds and the bees – it’s an entire lifetime of conversations about all of these topics and more.
For tips and ideas for talking to your kids about these issues, please go to http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/ten_tips.aspx
No baby yet
Hey everyone! Looks like I literally gave you a false alarm with last week’s sneak peek. :-)
No baby yet but Dr. Joplin told Starr that it would be any day now. Is it just me or is everyone creeped out that Dr. Joplin is telling Starr that everything is going to be OK one minute and then plotting with Todd the next? When we were taping those scenes, the actress who plays Dr. Joplin (Maureen Mueller) felt so bad. She was being nice to me and then meeting with Todd and telling him she would carry out his plan…
It’s also hard to play something where someone is going to hurt your character and playing that you don’t know that it’s going to happen. Speaking of things that are hard to play…it was pretty difficult for me to play that I was having contractions because (don’t be shocked) I’ve never had one :-) But what helped me with these scenes is that about a month before I had to tape them, I went to Florida because my cousin Erica was about to give birth. She talked to me about what she was feeling and let me feel the baby moving.
It was really awesome to be there for my cousin and it also really helped me out a lot.
However, when I went to do the scenes they wanted Starr to be really freaking out. But what I learned is that when you have your first contraction it’s not so painful. It’s more like a slight tensing. So I chose to play it that Starr was not in a lot of pain but was frea king out and starting to hyperventilate because the big moment was finally here. I know that some of you who have been through child birth maybe thought that I was overreacting. I was play that this is finally the moment -- Starr is in labor and the baby was coming. That fact alone really freaked Starr out.
We tried to make the scenes scary for Starr but at the same time have a little fun too.
After every scene we had a good laugh at how frantic they were. I felt like I was going to pass out after every take. Doing those scenes got me anxious for when I had to tape the actual delivery. But I think they turned out good and I am excited for you to see them.
Until next week as we get closer to the big day…
XO,
Kristen
Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:
Now that we’re coming up on the end of Starr’s pregnancy let’s take a minute to look back at some of what she’s been through: A single night of sex with her boyfriend found them both so caught up in the heat of the moment that no one said anything about protection and no one thought about the consequences. Then came a period of loneliness and uncertainty before Langston knew and before Cole knew, when Starr was all alone with her secret. After that, she and Cole spent time on the run, away from her family, trying to make it on their own. Two teenagers alone on their own didn’t exactly work out, needless to say. Then her mom found out about the pregnancy and doctor appointments began. After some serious soul-searching, Starr decided to make an adoption plan for the baby. This led to her break-up with Cole, which would have been hard under any circumstance but was made all the more excruciating because of the pregnancy. Then other people found out – from her crazy father to the kids at school – and their reactions weren’t exactly pleasant, to say the least. All this on top of the physical changes and discomfort that are a normal part of pregnancy and it’s a lot for a sixteen year old to handle. Even one as poised and fortunate as Starr Manning.
Imagine if Starr & Cole had not had sex that night. Or if they had used protection. Imagine how different their lives would be. What if they’d had a plan to prevent pregnancy and stuck to it? What if the 750,000 other teens who’ve gotten pregnant in the past year had either stopped and not had sex at all, or made sure they were using protection carefully? (Even the best protection isn't 100% foolproof…) That’s the thing about teen pregnancy – you can prevent it. It doesn’t have to happen. Either don’t have sex or use protection -- carefully and correctly -- every single time.
For more information about love, relationships, sex, contraception, and waiting, go to http://www.stayteen.org/whats-your-relationship-reality/default.aspx
The big screen
Hey guys!
So on Sunday morning around 11:00am, my mom, my brother Eddie, our agent Barry and I had tickets to the New York Film Festival to see “The Changeling.” My brother Eddie is in it!!!! Eddie and mom went to the premiere the night before so they were really excited for me to see it. The movie was really really good!!!!!!!!!! It takes you through the whole story -- which is a true story that happened in LA in the 1920s. Angelina Jolie’s character loses her son and you see how corrupt the police were. My brother’s character comes in at a later point in the movie and delivers a real shocker. He did an amazing job and I’m not just saying that because he’s my brother. His role is really sad. I felt for the character so much and the way Eddie played it was amazing. It was such a powerful movie about a mother’s love for her child.
I can’t give away anything more but it’s a real shocker and a tearjerker. I am extremely proud of Eddie. Not that I didn’t think he would do an amazing job, but he was 10 times better than I could have ever imagined. (It’s coming out in limited release on 10/24 and nationwide on Halloween.)
Angelina’s character loses her child and one day soon, Starr will experience something similar when she gives her baby to Marcie. It’s not the same story but they are both about a mother’s love for a child. The emotion in the movie is about not having the child around. Starr will experience a different kind of loss. Even though adoption is truly what Starr wants. It will still be hard to say goodbye to her baby and let go. Even really good decisions are hard to make sometimes.
I want to thank all of you for you positive feedback about Starr’s speech in front of the school assembly. I thought it was a really great story point. It gave some insight into what Starr is feeling at this point. What she said was very powerful and it shows how much she’s grown up through this chapter in her life.
Even though she has chosen adoption, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love the baby she is caring. In fact, it means the opposite. She loves the baby very much. This baby has been a part of Starr for nine months and it will be so difficult to let it go, but Starr knows that this is the right thing for her to do.
I give you a sneak peek for next week – Starr and Blair go to another Lamaze class and Starr starts to have pains. Could this be it?
Talk to you next week.
XO,
Kristen
Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:
Starr’s decision to make an adoption plan for her child is generous and courageous. Not only does it give her child an opportunity for what will most likely be a better life, but it also gives Starr the chance live a more stable life, finish school and focus on her own dreams for the future. Starr (and all birth mothers who make this choice) should be commended for their bravery and unselfishness. But that doesn’t mean it’s an easy decision. There are so many questions that birth mothers have – about laws and services and the way process works – combine that with the excitement and confusion of being a pregnant teen and it’s even harder. A great resource is ichooseadoption.org
But the most important thing to remember is that teen pregnancy is preventable. Either don’t have sex or use protection carefully and consistently every single time. Once there is a pregnancy every road ahead is a hard one. Preventing pregnancy is easy in comparison. So have a plan and protect yourself and your future.
For more information about sex, love, relationships, contraception and waiting go to stayteen.org.
In Need of a Friend
This week, Starr had her mind on other things besides herself and her baby. Her focus was on her BFF Langston. She’s wondering if she’ll ever see Langston again. She’s really scared for her. She’s also really scared at the thought of going through the next month without Langston. How could Langston not be there for the birth of her baby? Langston is always there for Starr. The fear of not having her there to talk through things is huge. Langston has helped Starr, especially this year, get through some pretty major things. She feels like she lost Cole as a boyfriend and now she might lose Langston. It’s too much.
At this point, things are starting to look up and her friendships are starting to get better. Starr and Cole are even starting to make some progress working through their problems. If Langston goes away, they might all break up as friends because Cole hangs around because his best friend is Langston’s boyfriend.
This week, while Starr was concentrating on Langston, I didn’t really get the chance to watch the show because I was delivering the baby. It was crazy because I found myself feeling that the "baby bump" was a part of me. For the last 9 months, it kept growing and feeling more and more real. So when I went up to tape, I knew that when the scenes were over, it would be small again and then it would be gone. I didn’t think that taping the birth scenes would hit me so much, but they did. I went up to set and walked into the hospital room, got into the stirrups, Kassie was there in her scrubs and all of the crew that I’ve grown up with watching - it was hard not to cry. It was a crazy experience. It brought back all of the memories of this year
–
being a part of this story. It made me think about what this story has meant to teens and their parents. This week was really a memorable moment in Starr’s life and mine.
I am so exhausted and I didn’t really give birth. I even go a little sick. I think this is the first story that has made me actually get sick because it was so emotional and intense
The night before taping the scenes, I barley got any sleep because I was so nervous. I don’t want to say anymore at this point. I will elaborate as we get closer. It’s too good to spoil
I can’t wait for you to see it
‘Til next week
XO
Kristen
Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:
Starr is going through a lot right now – friends, school, relationship stuff, family drama – not to mention the pregnancy. Imagine if she were also preparing to be a mother – getting her house ready, making arrangements for a pediatrician and daycare and everything else, plus making sure she has all the supplies and support she’ll need for the baby. It’s a lot to handle at any age, but especially difficult for teens.
Having a baby is a wonderful, magical thing – but it’s not easy. Motherhood (and fatherhood too!) is life-changing. It is not something to be entered into lightly or without in-depth consideration for what it all means. “If it happens, it happens” is not a good reason to start a family. Especially when you still have to finish school and you’re not done growing up yourself.
Being a teenager is hard enough – look at all the things Starr and Langston are going through that have nothing to do with pregnancy. Look at the all the things real life teens go through every day. Bringing a baby into that mix isn’t the best idea. Babies need grown up parents who are committed to each other and committed to raising a family.
For more information about love, sex, relationships, contraception and waiting, please visit http://stayteen.org/whats-your-relationship-reality/default.aspx
A Bumpy Road
Hey everyone!
Well, this week was a rough start to the school year for Starr. Her principal believes that Starr is a distraction at school and even though Cole is the father, she doesn’t think he is. He doesn’t have a huge belly. But Starr sees it as – we are both pregnant. Cole defends her and says that if students have a problem with Starr then they have a problem with him.
At this point, what’s done is done - Starr IS pregnant. Starr had a couple of lines with Markko this week where he suggests home schooling. Starr is completely against it. She did something and now she has to live with it. Starr sees that suggestion as cowardly. And she feels like she is doing the right thing for herself by giving the baby to Marcie. By sheltering teens from teen pregnancy, she would not be helping. It’s not a good message. Starr really believes that hiding it is the wrong message.
An unexpected pregnancy as a teen is certainly not what Starr planned for her life. She is trying to make the most positive situation out of something that can be seen as a huge negative. As this story goes on, it’s getting harder for me to talk about this. Of course, the most important message is prevention. As the story continues, now there is a baby and there are emotions involved. Starr goes back and forth about how she feels – believing it was a mistake and believing it was something that was meant to be so she could give the baby to Marcie.
A couple of weeks ago there was an amazing comment by Vonny to one of my blogs that I want to share with you:
My girlfriend is making me comment on this blog so he it goes.
I am a 17yr father to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. My girlfriend got pregnant when we were both 16 so I can relate to this storyline very well. At first we thought about abortion, we believed that we were too young to have a child, neither of us have money or a job and then there was school to think about.
We wasn't going to say anything to anybody and just get the abortion and act like nothing happened, then my cousin pulled me to the side and asked me that all too important question, was my girlfriend pregnant. How did she know I never figured out but I tried to lie and it didn't work.
My cousin told me if getting an abortion is what the girl wants because IT IS HER decision she would give me the money. Will more bad luck happened our way, we waited to long and couldn't get the abortion. So guess what I am becoming a father.
My cousin sat me down and told me to get ready, told me that there was no way I was not going to do right by my child and that I will have the love and support of my entire family with this.
At first I was scared, I wasn't ready. I was still a child myself, received all of my support from my dad. But my father said the magic words, "what if I walked away from you, how would you had felt."
Right there and then I knew that whatever it took I would become the best father that I could to my baby no matter what. That there was nothing more important on this earth than the child growing in my girlfriend’s stomach.
It hasn't been easy I won't lie, but it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be either. There is tons of support systems out there for teenage parents and if you have the support of your family it is even easier.
Your story Kristen is just one look at teenage pregnancy there are thousands of kids out their handle their business and raising and loving their babies. I don't know what I would have done if my girlfriend denied me the right to love my child. My daughter is a blessing no matter how she came about. We might not be rich but we are a family full of love and we are managing.
My cousin is my daughter's godmother and I have the support and love of my family to see me through this. What I can't provide at this time they help me with. What guidance I am lacking I acquire from my dad and my other relatives.
My friends, my real friends that support me in fatherhood and those who don't have no place in my life.
What I am saying is that I think your show doesn't show all the options just one side to the situation and it definitely doesn't support fathers at all.
I am hoping that teenagers watching this show know that you can be young and still a good parent, that giving your child up for adoption is not the best thing to do for everyone.
A lot of people judge teen pregnancy only as a huge negative but there is so much more to every story. Every story is different. Of course, the most important message to relay is prevention. Once a teen is pregnant, you don’t want to say it’s awful or that it’s the worst thing in the world because a life is created. I agree that it should be prevented, but once it happens, do whatever you can to make the best possible choices. Some teens can make it work to keep the baby. They might have help from their friends and family. Some decide that they’re not ready or would have to drop out of school. It’s a personal decision and everyone has their own story. We can only tell one story but I am so thankful that Vonny was brave and generous enough to share his.
Until next week.
XO,
Kristen
Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:
There is no single story that captures the experience of each of the 750,000 teen pregnancies that happen each year. Starr's story alone has inspired so much discussion and concern and reflection. There are many success stories out there -- and many stories of hardship. The fact is that 40% of teen mothers don't graduate from high school, and the #1 reason girls drop out of high school is pregnancy. Babies born to teens are more likely to suffer from health and developmental problems. While Cole is so committed to staying involved, most teen dads disappear. There are many loving and supportive teen parents who give up their dreams to make sure that their babies get the best possible start in life. It's important to tell all these stories, and to give teen parents a way to share what they've been through.
Do you have a story to share? Comment on this blog. Learn more about teen pregnancy and check out "Too Young," a short video in which teen parents from a variety of backgrounds share their stories and – in their own words – offer their candid views about the difficulties they have faced. http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/tooyoung/default.aspx Watch clips online and tell us what you think.
Standing Up
Hey everyone!
I have really been looking forward to talking about this week. Starr did a really courageous thing at school -- she stood up in front of her school assembly and spoke about being a pregnant teen.
Starr has come such a long way since she first found out she was pregnant. At first, she couldn’t even bear the thought of telling anyone – her Mom, Dad, best friend, close relatives and even Cole. She’s been forced to grow up a lot and even though she is scared, I love how strong she has become. Going from being afraid to tell anyone from talking to everyone at school – she’s definitely come a long way. She’s built up a lot of courage. Starr’s had a lot of time to think about her situation and what it means to her. She knows it’s not going away and she wants people to get that.
When she arrives at school for the first day, she is trying to hide her belly but it’s very big at this point. It’s really impossible. Langston is a good friend and tries to cover her. She also tells Starr that she can’t keep doing this forever but she will help her so they don’t bombard her on this first day of school.
Starr’s pregnancy is brand new for the people at her school. Before Starr got pregnant, she would be one of the kids judging the pregnant girl. She knows that. It’s not that she’s mean, it’s just what people automatically do. She wants to explain how she feels and just wants some respect from the kids and teachers at school. She really wants them to stay out of it. So when she stands up in front of assembly, she’s saying don’t jump to judge me. Don’t laugh at me. You don’t want to be in my position. The most important thing that Starr wants is for them to understand where she is coming from.
I thought Starr’s speech was really well written. She said things like, “It’s really scary. You don’t understand that what I am going through is the scariest thing in my entire life and I am the one going through it.” She is begging for some understanding. She doesn’t feel like what she is doing by addressing the assembly is wrong in any way. She feels like it could be a great thing – if she could change one girl’s mind or help educate them, then she did something great for her school. That’s what the assembly was for.
I share that same feeling with Starr. For me, it really hit home because that’s what we have been doing with this story and this blog. At the assembly, Starr says that if you want to judge me, that’s fine but hey maybe I could change somebody’s life. That’s pretty powerful and brave. If a pregnant girl stood in front of an assembly that Starr had attended, maybe she wouldn’t be in this situation. One girl wrote to me and told me that she was 18 with 2 kids and that she wished that our story had been on 2 years ago. It’s not that she doesn’t love her 2 children but maybe things would have been different for her.
I am really excited to hear your feedback on these scenes and about Starr doing such a courageous thing.
Talk to you next week.
XO,
Kristen
Start talking with your parent or child with tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:
Starr simply didn't think it could happen to her. Or, more precisely, she just didn't think. We've all done that -- put ourselves in a risky situation without thinking about it first, without weighing the consequences. And hopefully, we've gotten out of it a little wiser and promising ourselves we'll do better next time. Starr doesn't really get a "next time." When it comes to sex and pregnancy, it's not just any risky situation. It's the kind of situation that can transform you from kid to mom. That you have to think about seriously before you're doing it.
How many of Starr's classmates were looking at her and thinking, "that could have been me!"? Starr hopes at least some of them were. Starr is trying to use her experience to teach her peers, and to be open about something that she would rather hide. Most teens say they want to hear more from society about both abstinence and contraception. Many teens who have sex either don't use contraception at all or use it inconsistently. Nearly one-third of teen girls used no contraception the last time they had sex. Many teens feel pressure not to use protection. More than one-half of teens (52%) surveyed recently said that one of the main reasons that teens do not use birth control is because their partners don't want to. And the younger teens are when they have sex, the less likely they are to use protection. Two-thirds of teens who have had sex by age 18 wish they had waited.
With all that Starr has gone through, what is the main thing you've learned from her experience? Do you think differently now about teen pregnancy? About teen mothers? About your own risks? Comment on this blog, and get informed at http://www.stayteen.org/get-informed/default.aspx.
