Dirty Sexy Money: Dirty Sexy Blog

Dirty Sexy Risks

We all take risks. It’s what being human is all about -- anything from jumping out of an airplane, to climbing Mount Everest, to wearing a bright and flowery shirt. Today, I did the latter. While other people might wear outlandish clothing on a regular basis, I am more reserved. Much more reserved. I usually rock the black t-shirt and jeans, but I got this red-flowered cowboy shirt over the weekend and I thought today was the day to debut it. At first it seemed like a bad idea. Executive Producer, Josh Reims, couldn’t even look me in the eye without laughing. And staff writer, Jake Coburn, just shook his head at me in disbelief. Just when I was about to give up, the risk paid off. Donald Sutherland pointed at me, in what I’m pretty sure was out of approval, or it might have been about the fact that I delivered him a script. Either way, wearing the shirt was worth it.

In this week’s episode, “THE GAME,” Nick risks the trust he has established with Tripp when the Darling patriarch enters into a high-stakes poker game with billionaires and none other than Simon Elder. In a game where the sky is the limit and money is no object, real estate becomes the new bargaining chip. Will Nick betray Tripp in this battle royale in order to discover what Simon Elder knows about his father’s death?

The State of New York is playing a little game of their own on Karen when they refuse her application for a marriage license. Apparently, she’s still married to her third husband, the uber-hunk and anthropologist, Sebastian Fleet. To what lengths will Karen go to divorce her EX-husband?

Patrick’s Senatorial candidacy is in jeopardy when somebody tries to out his relationship with Carmelita. Exactly who is trying to play this card? And will Patrick call their bluff?

Jeremy lives up to the promise he made to his father and takes a job in the Darling Empire. Will he succeed or will he crash and burn in his new profession?

All of this and more in this week’s salacious episode, “THE GAME.”

Now I’m going to go back into the bathroom to check myself out in this shirt. Again. Damn, I’m hot.

THE BRIDGE

A lot of people have been leaving comments after last week’s episode wondering, guessing, which one of the Darlings is not Tripp’s child but is in fact Nick’s half sibling. No, I’m not going to reveal who it is. That would be foolish and it wouldn’t be fair to all of you in the blogosphere. Is it just me or do you find the word blogosphere annoying?  I discourage you from using it. What I do encourage you to do is go to Vegas and bet on who is Nick’s half-sibling.  Who knows, you might win some money. I can’t believe I just advocated gambling. I guess gambling is Dirty, Sexy, and Money, right? Okay that was a bad joke. Let’s just get into it, people.

In this week’s episode, “THE BRIDGE,” Juliet and Jeremy turn twenty-five, and stand to inherit twenty-five million big ones each – but first they’ll celebrate by spending a million dollars on their yearly bash. The party planning comes to a screeching halt when Juliet refuses to include Natalie Kimpton, Jeremy’s girlfriend and Juliet’s ex-best friend, on the guest list. Juliet demands another cool mil to throw her own Marie Antoinette-themed party, complete with guillotine and ladies in waiting, while Jeremy chooses to host his extravaganza on the Brooklyn Bridge. Yeah, that’s right, the Brooklyn Bridge. Will the twins be able to reconcile their differences or will the money drive them further apart?

We left off last week’s episode with Nick climbing into the backseat of Simon Elder’s Mercedes Maybach. After weeks of trying to track down Mr. Elder, what will Nick learn from him? Will it be something about Elder’s secret business partnership with Nick’s father? Or will Simon share his coveted beauty secrets? How does his skin stay so soft and supple?

Since I already advocated gambling, maybe you all should bet on how much longer Brian can keep his love child a secret from his wife, who is constantly eyeing his every move. Or if Karen will spill the beans about Patrick’s affair to his wife Ellen in order to strike a bargain in Freddy’s favor. Or if Nick and Lisa’s marriage will come apart over a couple of ants.

All the answers to these wagers, and so much more on this week’s episode, “THE BRIDGE.”

THE CHIAVENNASCA

When we drink, we usually do things we regret -- such as dancing on the bar, drunk dialing our ex’s, puking, and, of course, telling our secrets to the people we shouldn’t. The best part is when you try to put all the pieces together the next day, and you finally arrive at that moment of clarity and say, ”Holy crap, I can’t believe I did that.”

This week’s episode contains some of those regretful moments, which follow some serious drinking. To put it simply: secrets will be revealed.

In this week’s episode, Nick takes a trip to Italy to track down an obscure Italian wine and a person who might be able to shed some light on Dutch’s murder. Nick attempts to make the trip a romantic getaway with Lisa, but is thwarted when Karen and her fiancé, Freddy, decide to tag along. Throw a little grappa in the mix and who knows what will happen.

I can assure you all that no one will be doing the “Italian Banker.” For those who left comments last week asking for details on that sexual position -- all I can say is that I know it involves a roll of Lira. It’s difficult to find out more than that because the Secret Society of Italian Bankers has kept this secret for generations. It’s true.

While there are no unique sexual positions in this one, we do get to finally see the oh-so-sexy Blair Underwood. That’s right, Simon Elder finally makes an appearance on the show.

Letitia spills one of the biggest secrets, finally admitting to Tripp that she had affair with his best friend Dutch. When challenged by Tripp, she assures him all of their children are his… but, is that really the truth, or is one of the Darling children not really a Darling?

Poor Brian Jr. -- not only is he still a secret to Brian’s wife, Mei Ling Hwa, but now he’s being tormented by a menacing bully, Chora Birchmeyer. Will Brian step in and help out? Not likely, but even Brian might have a change of heart. Jeremy is still trying to keep his affair with Natalie Kimpton a secret from Juliet, but Natalie has a secret of her own…

So many secrets, people!

And that’s all I can tell you for now. If you find yourself wanting more, you should check out Patrick Darling’s myspace profile:

www.myspace.com/patrickdarlingdsm

Dirty Sexy Secrets: After months on the job, I finally met Glenn Fitzgerald (aka Brian) last Friday. The meeting soon became awkward after I commented how cool I thought his Nike warm-up jacket was and then proceeded to touch it. Glenn just stared at me and said, “I hate you.” I guess I deserved that. Also Peter Krause just told me a really funny knock-knock joke. It actually made me laugh. But I don’t remember the joke. Good times.

Enjoy Wednesday’s episode, THE CHIAVENNASCA, and let us know what you think.

Welcome !

Welcome to the Writers’ Blog of Dirty Sexy Money. Finally, two weeks after the show premiered, here it is—what took so long? We’ve been too busy being Dirty and Sexy – whatever that means. Can writers even be sexy? Well, maybe Hemmingway or Hunter S. Thompson. Can writers be dirty? Certainly. And to prove it, each and every week we’ll be sharing dirty little secrets from our upcoming episodes and behind the scenes.

This week’s episode called, “The Italian Banker,” features one of the Darlings in a compromising position. That’s right people—a sex tape.

And I’ve seen the footage. Good times.

Which Darling do you think it is? The first person to answer correctly gets a shout-out in next week’s blog.

Not only is there a sex tape in this episode, but there are so many other Dirty Sexy moments. Last week we left off with Nick cracking the code to his father’s briefcase, finding inside a dossier on Simon Elder – the Billionaire philanthropist, played by the oh-so-sexy Blair Underwood – I said it, and I’m straight, and I dare anyone to disagree with me. So did Simon Elder kill Dutch? That’s what Nick’s wondering when he takes this discovery to the police.

Brian brought his illegitimate son home to his wife and kids, but instead of confessing his sins, he lies and tells them the boy’s a Swedish orphan named Gustav. How long will he be able to keep this secret from his suspicious wife and the clergy?

Speaking of secrets, Tripp forces Patrick to break up with his tranny girlfriend, Carmelita, before the launch of his Senatorial campaign. And they’re not hosting his launch at your run-of-the-mill banquet hall. Oh no! In grandiose Darling fashion, they’re holding it at Bvlgari, the luxurious Italian jewelry store. Nothing says “vote for me” better than a complimentary three hundred thousand dollar diamond necklace. And Jeremy’s secret affair with Natalie Kimpton, Juliet’s arch nemesis, threatens to be revealed when Natalie shows up to Patrick’s campaign launch… naked! (Okay, that last part’s not true. But I wish.)

Tune in to tonight’s episode to find out what kind of trouble the Darlings get into. Log on afterwards, we would love to hear your comments and questions. And with that, I’m going to go watch the sex tape again. Whoa- Mama!

Dirty Secrets: William Baldwin is still crying about the Yankees loss — I’m sorry, Billy, but we’re here for you. And today I heard Donald Sutherland walking down the writers’ hall, singing a song. What song was it, you ask? Well… Keep reading this blog, and once we get to know each other, these are the kinds of secrets I just may let slip.