You know you want my cakes, too...

Here, by popular demand, are a few of my cake recipes.  I should tell you – these babies taste 10 times better if your grandmother bakes them.  Enjoy!

Holy Mother of Chocolate Cake

Layers:

3 ounces semisweet chocolate

1 1/2 cups hot brewed coffee

3 cups sugar

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups unsweetened cocoa powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1 1/4 teaspoons salt

3 large eggs

3/4 cup vegetable oil

1 1/2 cups buttermilk

3/4 teaspoon vanilla

Frosting:

1 pound semisweet chocolate

1 cup heavy cream

2 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons light corn syrup

1/4 cup unsalted butter

You’ll need:

Two 10- by 2-inch round cake pans

Wax paper

Electric Mixer

A good attitude

For the layers:

Preheat oven to 300°F.  Grease those pans.  My grandmother lines the pan bottoms with wax paper, too.  Finely chop the chocolate.  Then, in a bowl, mix the chocolate with the hot coffee. Stir until smooth.

In a large bowl, sift together the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. In another large bowl, beat the eggs for about 3 minutes.  An electric mixer works best.  Then, slowly add the oil, buttermilk, vanilla, and melted chocolate mixture to the eggs, beating until it’s all combined really well. Add the sugar mixture and beat (on medium speed). Finally, divide the batter between your pans and bake them in the middle of your oven for about 65 minutes.

When that’s done and your kitchen is smelling really, really good – Cool the layers completely in their pans.  Run a thin knife around the edges of pans and invert the layers.  Carefully remove the wax paper and cool the layers completely.

For the frosting:

Finely chop the chocolate.   In a saucepan, bring the cream, sugar, and corn syrup to a boil over moderately low heat, whisking until the sugar is dissolved. Remove the pan from the heat and add the chocolate, whisking it until it’s all melted.  Now would be the time to whisk in that butter until smooth.  Put the frosting in a bowl and allow to cool, stirring occasionally.

Then, spread the frosting between your cake layers, over the top and around the sides.  Now, find a fertility specialist and give her what she wants.

Insanely Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cake

For this one, you can opt to use the same frosting from my grandma’s Holy Mother of Chocolate Cake.  This cake also works pretty well without any frosting at all.  It’s up to you.

2  cups flour 

1 1/2  cups sugar 

2  teaspoons baking powder 

1  teaspoon baking soda 

1/2  teaspoon salt 

1 1/4  cups sour cream 

3/4  cup butter, softened 

1  teaspoon vanilla 

3  eggs 

1/2  cup sugar 

1  teaspoon cinnamon 

1 (6  ounce) package chocolate chips (I like the mini kind) 

Heat your oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 13 x 9 pan.  In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, sour cream, butter, vanilla and eggs.  Mix all of that goodness together.  You can use a mixer at medium speed for about 3 minutes.

Then, pour half of the batter into your pan.  In a separate small bowl, combine the sugar and cinnamon.  Sprinkle half of that sugar mixture and ½ cup of your chocolate chips over the batter.  Repeat with the remaining batter, sugar mixture, and chocolate chips.  Bake it all at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.

If you want to add the frosting from my previous recipe, you can do so now.  If not, no worries.  Baking cakes at people is fun, isn’t it?

Give Them What They Want Double Fudge Cake

Again, you don’t have to use frosting on this cake if you don’t want to. If you do, use the frosting from my first recipe.

6 ounces semisweet chocolate

3/4 cup butter 

1 cup sugar 

4 eggs 

1 cup cocoa powder (not drink mix) 

1 teaspoon finely ground black pepper 

1 pinch salt

Preheat oven to 350° F.  Prepare an 8 inch round pan by greasing its bottom and sides.  Cut a circle of waxed paper and fit it around the bottom of the pan.  Grease that, too.

Coarsely chop your chocolate.  Then, melt the chocolate and the butter over simmering water. Stir the sugar into the chocolate. Beat the eggs (fast and hard), one at a time, into the chocolate.   Next, add your cocoa, pepper, salt, and stir.  Pour the batter into your prepared pan and bake about 40 minutes.

Cool about 10 or 15 minutes.  Then run a knife around the edge to loosen, and invert on a plate.

As always, don’t forget your cake carrier!

Comments

[Amanda in Culver City]

Dell, I would never tell you to "Stop Baking Cakes at Me" - that said and out of the way now I can get to the real reason I writing you. Please go surf more often, I don't mind your bare chest hanging around Oceanside Wellness. While I am asking you for favors, I was wondering if you could whisper in Shonda's ear about how oool and amazing a PRIVATE PRACTICE Writer's Blog would be. I realize/know that she is a very busy women who produces not 1 but 2 (two!!) incredible TV shows but - selfishly I need to know the behind-the-words secrets and inside information. Thank YOU. Let Shonda know, SHE ROCKS!!!

[Mad E]

Do you think Pete would like it if i'll bake one??? Oh well, as Cooper said, if he loved cakes, then he wouldn't be a man! LOL

[jill in lafayette, la]

I've never been so happy as i am to see the recipe for Holy Mother of Chocolate Cake!!!! THANK YOU!

I'm going to try these recipes asap!

[jill in lafayette, la]

Ok, Holy Mother of Chocolate Cake is GOOD. Don't need icing either!

[go organic]

Holy %#$%#! These recipes do look quite delish, I'll give you that. But my friend, they're rather rich and decadent so I fear you're going to lead Naomi down the path to a life full of sinful eating. LOL
You know that refined flour,refined sugar, dairy and coffee and BIG no-nos in the alternative health movement. But there are great substitutions. Although your gran might have to alter her recipes a bit. Actually, I feel sorry for her because it looks like you're going to keep her nose to the grindstone with this baking bonanza. I guess you're lucky granny isn't like Madea,lol, otherwise she'd probably give you a good thrashing with her pocket book and give you a bit of ummm, 'advice' about baking your own cakes.
In any case if your lady gains 10 pounds I certainly hope you'll have a plan to help her work it off.

p.s. you should post the Oceanside Wellness green smoothie/green drink recipies as well. Then we can pig out on chocolate and sugar one day, then get healthy the next-heheh.

[go organic]

Oh, by the way, I don't know if it's true, but I read that eating chocolate releases the same chemicals as having sex. Except that you'd have to eat a LOT of it to get the same effect.

[Jessica]

WoW. Im in cooking school and i totaly plane on make the Holly mother cake for my midd-term. Dell i love you so much. you in credibly hot. i think some one could bake a cake on you. call me i'd love to try.

[organic fruits]

heh,hehe- maybe we could serve sushi on him.

[criss]

Dell, you are soooo cool.... And I hope Naomi will see that soon... Anyway, these chocolate cakes are the greatest... Cant wait to bake them!

Dell, I totally saved these recipes. I will bake them. I will bake them and eat them, because I'm a young single woman living alone. Besides, what young single woman couldn't enjoy some cake? I'll invite a friend over and we can sample entire cakes. YUM.

[addieisagod]

I AM SUCH A FAN OF YOUR YUMMY ABS. :D

okay, now that i have that off my chest, let's head on to the other reason why i'm commenting. :p

i totally agree with go organic! i would just love it if you posted the recipe for the OWG green smoothie, or whatever you call it. :D

maybe that's why Pete likes Addie. organic drinks :"> she seems to be the only one who ever drinks that! haha!

oh, btw. me and my aunts bake for a living, so i'm going to try out those cakes ASAP. :D

[Anne]

Wow, the cake looks great. Where did the recipe come from?

[Megan Binn]

That's complicated, i think i'll just ask my grammy to make it. You should know, you did it too.

Thanks Megan Binn

[Maddie]

Oh my god, the CAKES. I spent all episode obssessing about these cakes, wishing i could jump into the TV and devour them. Now I can, and my roommates aren't getting any!

[Monkey!]

You are so my favorite person right now!! Thanks a MILLION for the recipes. I love to bake and am obsessed with chocolate. Thanks again.

[Em]

Those cakes are sooo good!

[i love this show.]

omg. this cake sounds so good. and in matter of fact it looks better than it sounds. i wish he would make it for me that would be a dream come true.

[ghazal]

the last receipe seems great but dont u have to add flour to that one as well? there is everything but flour :s.

[Trixie from Tofino]

Hello Dell,
I'm a big fan of boy midwives. and then you outted yourself as a baker too.

So i made the holy mother cake. but i screwed up. i put the chocolate for the frosting into the cake. that's 8 times the chocolate, Dell. and what i want to report is that the cake was unbelievable. i didn't make frosting, that might have killed people, and you, Dell, help bring and nurture life, not take it away.... Anyway, sans frosting but with fresh fruit, the holy mother of chocolate was something else.
thought you would appreciate the accidental but entirely repeatable recipe variance.

keep up the good gyne, Dell.