by John Kazlauskas, Writer's Assistant
Writing the story of the two Brothers & Sisters triathlon relay teams that competed in the Nautica Malibu Triathlon on Sunday is less the story of Rocky
or Rudy
and a little more like the Bad News Bears:

The kid in front (#4) is Luke and Matthew is on the left.
Sure there was some friendly trash-talking between the two teams:

But it was all in good fun because when you have to show up somewhere before the sun even rises you end up spending a good deal of time just trying to stay awake:

The first event of the day was the swimming and standing on
the beach looking out over the choppy, frigid water I did not envy Oliver and Jason.
These guys were going to have an exhaustive ½ mile swim ahead of them. The
waves were pretty big:
Oliver is not really a swimmer anyway. He’s a biker.
Originally the swimmer on the team with Luke and I was going to be Mike Foley,
one of the show’s writers. When a rotator cuff injury forced Foley to drop out,
Oliver dutifully stepped in.
I can’t say that he inspired much confidence in our team,
however. After he agreed to be
involved I asked what time he was hoping to finish the swim in.
“I’ll just be happy if I don’t drown” was his deadpan
response. I waited for him to
crack a smile. To laugh and say: “Only joking!”
He didn’t.

Now Jason is a strong athlete (he even played professional
football) so he followed a strict training regimen several days a week in both
a pool and the ocean. Oliver jumped in at the last minute so didn’t have the
time to prepare. When I asked how often he trained Oliver’s response was “I
swam 4 laps in a pool once."
“That’s it?”
Again deadpan, Oliver said: “I wasn’t kidding about
drowning.”
Now you know why his nickname was “Sharkbait.”
By some miracle that surprised both teams, Jason and Oliver
emerged from the water at almost exactly
the same time. Oliver’s final time was 22 minutes, 44.9 second and Jason’s was
22 minutes, 54.9 seconds.

But “Sharkbait” was understandably exhausted and so Jason
moved faster in the transition area, passing Oliver and sending David off on
his bike ahead of Luke.
But with 18 grueling miles to bike, everyone knew that those
precious seconds could easily be made up. As David started pedaling onto the
course, someone yelled “Go American Flyers!”
reminding David that he had won big races before. Well, at least in the movies.
(Oops. That was a spoiler from 1985.)
With David and Luke off and pedaling, Jason and Oliver
slipped out of their wetsuits and relaxed. Jason ate some food, while Oliver
climbed into a nearby bed to try and relax his tired arms and legs:
At the same time Matthew and I got ready in the transition
area for David and Luke’s return. We nervously eyed the blue carpet that the
bikers had to run down with their bikes. And then, in the distance, we spotted
Luke coming in 49 minutes and 49.2 seconds after he left.

The timing chip was transferred from Luke's ankle to mine and I immediately headed out on the 4-mile run, leaving Matthew watching nervously for David:
David's goal was to come in with a time under one hour and, at 59 minutes, 27.9 seconds, he did just that. Matthew took David's timing chip and was off, leaving a tired David to finally rest:
The four mile out-and-back run course was mercifully flat.
Although I knew I left before Matthew I had no idea how fast he could run or
when David came in. Each time I heard a runner coming up behind me I’d speed up
slightly and catch a quick backwards glance to see if it was Matthew…
Thankfully I held onto Luke’s lead and even was able to
build on it slightly, crossing the finish line in 32 minutes, 18.9 seconds. I
was running so hard at the end I don’t think my feet touched the ground:

I'm floating!
All smiles, Matthew crossed the finish line later, with a run time of 36 minutes, 11.3 seconds.
I bet you didn't realize Matthew's left leg ended at the knee!
Sure, Team
Macfarlane/Coke/Kazlauskas beat Team Rhys/Grant/Wilborn by almost 14 minutes,
but I’m not here to gloat. The next day, Matthew was quoted in a paper as
saying:
“Our motto was complete, not compete.”
A nice sentiment to be sure but, if you ask me, spoken like
a member of a LOSING team. Actually both of the B&S teams beat the team from Cold Case so we all can gloat a little bit….
After he had agreed to take part in the event, I started
trash talking Matthew, saying our team was going to beat his. He’d take it in
stride and remind me: “This is for charity. There will be one winner on that
day: Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.” And having raised over $1 million for
the hospital (a quarter of which was from Team Disney alone!), he was right.
Before heading home, our team posed for a photo on the
beach:
Everyone enjoyed the day and celebrated their own personal victories:
Until David noticed something...
“WHERE’S MY MEDAL?” he yelled out. Not once. Not twice. But
over and over. He started getting louder, too.
“WHERE’S MY MEDAL? I WANT MY MEDAL!”
Everyone else had one, so where was his?
Turns out our team mascot Bling Bling thought his medal
looked better on her:
Special thanks to Jason Wilborn for organizing our teams as well as Luke Macfarlane, Matthew Rhys (who also wants photo credit for the picture of Bling Bling), David Marshall Grant, Sparky Hawes, Sarah Elbert, Oliver Coke and Sara Sugarman.