The Three Sacred Texts

They said we’d never last. The troubled show. Family Crisis at Brothers & Sisters. The little show that could. And it did.  Six months and 16 episodes later, we’re still here -- stronger and wiser. And I feel lucky to be here, really. Good news, the studio has given us two more episodes!  Double the drama, double the love.

The things that I’ve learned in the past six months while working as a Writer’s Assistant here have surpassed any college creative writing class or McKee seminar. Sitting back and observing the hurricane that is Greg Berlanti is like taking a master class in Showrunnering.  And Robbie Baitz is a wizard with words, seriously.  A wizard! But I think the most valuable lesson learned would have to be from Craig Wright, one of our prodigious scribes.  In my five years in ‘the biz’, no one has laid out the epitome of what it means to be a writer in Hollywood as clearly as Mr. Wright has.  And here it is, straight from the horse’s mouth:

The three phrases that account for every action undertaken in Hollywood:

1) "Why not me?"



For example -- "J.T. Crapfabulous just got $750,000 for a three-week production pass? Why not me?" This explains all aggression and ambition.

2) "You never know."

For example -- "You mean to tell me we paid this Crapfabulous fella $750,000 for a pass, he got halfway through it and now suddenly he doesn't 'get' the movie anymore and he's quitting -- but he's keeping the money? Who the hell does he think he -- wait a minute... Steven's having him write that Elvis-Holocaust thing for Nicole, he's probably gonna get a nomination out of it. What the hell, let him keep it. You never know." This explains all behavior that looks like kindness or understanding.

3) "Screw 'em!"

For example -- "Hold on a minute, Irwin. You're telling me we've sunk 40 million into this cold potato of a project -- we just pissed away 750 grand on a pass from that Crapfabulous kid Steven's so hot for -- and now you're gonna tank the whole thing just to teach the studio a lesson?" "Yeah, Johnny. Screw' em!" This is explains all self-destructive activity.

(There's one more possible category, exemplified by the phrase, "You remind me of me when I was your age," but this probably fits under "You never know," since the identification with the up-and-comer is part of an absurdly clung-to hope for second-hand immortality earned through the work of others.)

Just something to keep in mind… thanks Craig.

I guess this will be my last blog for the year.  Thanks for reading, for keeping me employed, and for watching our lovely little show.   Stay tuned for our next episode airing January 7th, “Family Day,” written by Molly Newman & David Marshall Grant.

LOOSE CHANGE:
Writer Molly Newman is giving away a TV entertainment system complete with a DVD Recorder and TiVo to one lucky assistant – the contest will be determined sometime this week (although we all know this means WAR!)… a deluge of goodie baskets have occupied our kitchen and we’re all going on the Jenn Lence diet in the New Year...Emily Silver, one of the office PA’s gave everyone dreidel’s for Hannukkah and there’s plans to play strip dreidel later on… Dave the PA (whom I share an office with) is secretly trying to trap me in by building a wall around my desk with dailies, Molly’s dog Gus is writing the next freelance episode because he’s just too cute…Berlanti had a scare this morning when he took a bite of what he thought was banana bread – he’s deathly allergic (thanks for the warning, Dina). P.S.— Your brother thinks you should stop reading this blog. We think you should write one—about growing up with Brillianti (as Ken Olin calls him).

Show Progress: 114 editing, 115 shooting, 116 writing, 117 breaking, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Peace,
Gladys

Comments

[will]

Gladys - So much *ss-kissing in that 2nd paragraph of yours! Got weirded out reading it. I'm so knee-deep in Hollywoodland! But you are right about it being a "lovely little show".

[Kong Chang]

Congrats on the extra two episode pickup! Woot that makes 24 episodes this year! This is a great vote of confidence from ABC, and makes all of us fans happy to be part of your extended family.

[Carrie]

I'm thrilled to hear you guys are getting 24 episodes this year. I can't wait for the new ones to start again.

[Karrie]

Yay for extra-episodes! (No yay for depressing lessons about Hollywood that crush my poor soul. ;) Don't fall for Dave the PA's tricks! He's certainly trying to box you in so he can claim the TV entertainment system in your name if you win.

Also, strip dreidel sounds fun. Thanks for the great idea!

[will]

Gladys, sorry for my slightly rude post yesterday. You're fine. I was in a bad Christmas funk.
Was surfing around the web yesterday & through a series of links, landed on some gay site (not AfterElton - something else) where there was a blog about Kevin & B&S. I clicked to "comments" to see what people were saying & was kind of taken back to see so much distain for our friend Scotty. Almost all commentors found Scotty too "effeminate", even "offensive". One guy questioned why Kevin couldn't find a partner who was a "fireman" or some other macho profession. Somebody else offered the opinion that "Brokeback Mountain" portrayed gay men in a more "realistic" way than B&S. I personally think all these bloggers are watching way too much porn (the ones with lumberjacks & all the mountain guys hiking in the woods...) It got me thinking of the "Village People" line-up: the fireman, the policeman, the Indian Chief, construction worker.... Apparently those commentors want Kevin to hook up with one of them.

[Jim]

Two additional episodes is a great Christmas present! I miss the show. January 7th is also my graduation day, so now there are two good reasons to wish it would hurry up and get here!

[will]

So from what I can figure out Jason Lewis will be debuting on the "Sexual Politics" episode?? as Kevin's new love interest. A "closeted soap opera" star. Chad. (he was on "Sex & the City". Never got into it, but Jason was apparently the eye-candy) This is just the type of actor Trevor is always RAILING against on this blog. Studmuffin straight actor takes on gay role - IT'S A CONSPIRACY! not another one!...- & gay men drool & gawk & paw the TV & fantasize...& this is somehow BAD for forging a "positive gay identity". TV is teaching us to lust after studmuffin straight guys, Trevor argues, not each other. It's a "learn to love yourself" thing.
So fine. Here's the hurdle. All new guy has to do is create a PLAUSIBLE gay man: physically, spiritually & mentally. Actually "spiritually" sounds pretentious. But you get the drift. Pull us in, make us suspend disbelief. THIS IS 2006! Almost 2007! Don't give us any of this 1993 b*llsh*t with a move-in for the kiss & cutaway to the back of the head. I want to see lips touching & gyrating pelvises...oh I'm getting carried away. So bring him on! I'm ready Freddy. You have 3 million gay eyes watching you Jason Lewis! Get it right.

[will]

Ilovemylife: What is friggin going on with you?? You're morphing from a free-thinking east coast woman into a commitment-minded gay man (right before my internet-glazed eyes!).
What is a "gay mens convention" exactly? I read that & thought Depeche Mode concert! Halloween in West Hollywood! Imagine if I wrote "straight womens convention"...Very generic.
And Kevin would NEVER step foot in a nude beach, trust me! He had issues kissing Scotty in a public place. "Gay nude beach" sounds like you've been around the block a few times & Kevin's still taking babysteps with his comfortability level. Gay nude beach is like the World Series of being comfortable with body image & identity.
I like the idea of "love triangles" though, between gay men. Don't get much of that on TV (not counting "Queer as Folk" which was a gay-slummy cable show without B&S's mainstream appeal).
BTW, I'm 35, with OK body image & would never go to a nude anything. But still think of myself as unconventional. Like the "midnight walks on the beach" & all the romantic stuff. That works for me.

[Kong Chang]

Ilovemylife:

I visit your blogs quite often. :) And I even posted in your comments! :) So, I'm there for ya! Anyone who is a KevSco lover gets my vote of confidence! :) You should really consider doing some fan-fiction (or slash fiction) of Kevin & Scotty and tell me where you place your fiction so I can go read them. :)

[will]

New Zogby poll: (Zogby's a reputable one) 73% of military personnel are comfortable with lesbians & gays serving. 23% say they know someone in their own unit who's gay.
Now can we PLEASE do away with the out-of-date "don't ask, don't tell" BS? Seriously. Everyone seems to be OK with gays serving & "telling" - except those arteriosclerotic dinosaurs in the Pentagon & White House...the ones who make policy & do we really have to wait for these dinosaurs to die off...& replaced with non-homophobes?
Straight enlisted men talk about their wives. They're asked, they get to "tell".
Enough gay news....oh, & happy anniversary Elton. (Elton John celebrating one full year of marriage).

[brian]

that's very good for the the two extra epi congrats

[will]

to Kong Chang: No offense, man, but you need to go to a gay book store & pick up some literature. I don't mean this in a bitchy, sarcastic way, but I get in those moods too where I want a good solid gay love story & I'm not getting it & I have all this ...EXCESS energy...to blog with. You know the writers already have Kevin's love life plotted out for the season & apparently this doesn't include Scotty. It does include that "closeted soap opera actor" coming up in January. But all this hoping & longing for Scotty's return is starting to sound like a form of dementia....We'll have to trust the writers. And in the meantime, go to netflix & queue up "Latter Days" or "Beautiful Thing" or some sweet gay film. To take away the edge.

[ilovemylife]

Thank you Bloggers and Sisters.

My heart is in the right place.
I will own any mistake that was expressed.
Humor at the expense of any one is not tasteful.

And Will, I in no way had any thought that any of the beloved characters would participate out of character in any setting, beach or otherwise.

[tabby-cat]

I absolutly LOVE this show! If you ask me this is THE BEST show that I've seen in a while. This along with Boston Legal are two awesome shows that I think should stay on for a long time.

[Spike]

Hi, Will!

Thanks for assuming ownership of this blog and working out all of your deep-seated emotional issues here.

Unfortunately, the name of the show is not "The Unfabulous Life of Will", but rather, "Brothers and Sisters". You'll forgive us if we'd like to, like, actually have conversation related to the show.

But, happy new year. Smooches.